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Losing it


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
May 22nd, 2005, 05:38 PM
FerrariAngel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: I'm a California girl in Windy Chicago.
Posts: 1,144
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Hey girls,

I feel like you are the only ones that understand anything I say anymore...I mean dh tries, and so do my friends but I feel like a complete whack job. Have any of you or did any of you feel like you've lost control of yourself since after your mc? I feel like my hormones are going crazy and so am I! I get mad at everything....it just sets me over the edge and I just cry and cry. It's not even about the mc anymore it's just about everything.

My dh doesn't understand why I'm always upset and why I have to be angry all the time...my jaw hurts so bad b/c I keep grinding it and my head has a constant headache anymore. I slept 14 hours last night (and that's not that unbelievable with me though) and I'm still tired today.

I just wish there was something I could control anymore...and I have no control anymore....I just get so mad at everything. There are some moments where I take a step back and think "who the hell have I become" and then there are the moments where I think "f the world" it's so sad. I can't believe that this is ME! I try so hard to get better and I want everything to be normal again, but it's just not.

I mean since the mc which was a month ago dh and I have only bd on 4 times....1st time did something for me....last 3 did nothing...he still tries to get me interested but I'm just not. I feel myself pushing everyone away and part of me again is like "Back off" then I'm like "don't leave me!" I am tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of not being normal.....I want to be me again...but I can't seem to find me. Oh I hate this. I really really do.

I better go. Thanks for listening.
Ferrari
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  #2  
May 22nd, 2005, 05:57 PM
steph1989's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 924
Farrah,

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad.........(((hugs))), please PM me if you need to talk. I am here for you.

I can relate to your feelings.......I think our anger gets the better of us at times, we are very emotional at this time and it is perfectly understandable. Your m/c is still so fresh, one month is nothing. Don't be so hard on yourself.....it is going to take time to heal, all of your feelings are normal. I feel the same way as you do...... as I'm sure, many women who have had a m/c feel this way as well. Take it easy on yourself and remember everything you are feeling is okay. Don't feel bad about what you are feeling.

You are in my thoughts.
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  #3  
May 22nd, 2005, 06:20 PM
Veteran
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston,Ma.
Posts: 359
I feel the same as you.My gosh i didnt bd the 1st 7 weeks of the pregancy.the was on bed rest and mc.My poor bf.Its been 3 months and i told him today i dont think i want to all summer either.Im so scared of this happening again.I see everyone ttc right away and have no clue how they can handle that.Im so scared.I also have been very mean to everyone this week.Starting arguments with bf about everything and anythng.Hope it gets better as hormone levels go down...
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  #4  
May 23rd, 2005, 05:36 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494
A BIG {{{{{{HUG}}}}}} TO YOU!



My heart goes out to you!
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  #5  
May 31st, 2005, 09:33 AM
darlajortega's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: san bernardino, california
Posts: 1,207
about 11 1/2 years ago i had a m/c and then a month later i pg again and m/c AGAIN! geeze my hormones were screwed up for months!!!!!!!! then this last m/c i had in 2003 was'nt so bad emotionally. So everyone and each time is different and completely normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't be so hard on yourself!
it gets better, i promise. and remember this................... WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

darla
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  #6  
May 31st, 2005, 09:44 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: England
Posts: 582
What you are feeling is normal. I couldn't face the thought of getting poregnant again after my first couple of m/c and felt exactly the same. I became withdrawn and angry at myself and the world. It took a few months before i started to feel anywhere near normal. Time really is a healer.
Be patient and go with your feelings, talk to your DH about how you feel - it's tough to sometimes get the words out but you need to let go of some of that anger.
Get in touch with some self help groups if you need to talk to somone - that's what they're there for. Unfortunately time is the only healer here but i promise you it does get better.

(((((HUGS)))))
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  #7  
May 31st, 2005, 09:47 AM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 4,435
Please talk to your doc about how you are feeling...I only m/c'd a week ago but I am going through all of the ups & downs of the emotions also. It's okay to get help, meds if you need to. You need to get healthy again and if you think you are depressed you need support to get through it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you feel better soon.
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