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I'm having a terrible day. I'm pretty emotional. I can't explain it. I guess maybe I can. I feel like I've been at this whole TTC thing forever. Then to loose 2 pregnancies in that time really stinks. I'm sorry, I know there are those of you out there with worse problems than me. I was doing so well trying to stay up beat about all this. Charting again this month, going to a new dr tomorrow to start whatever she has in store for me. My bbs hurt, they are killing me! I feel like I've been used as a punching bag for the last week. I've given up on testing. Dh didn't want sex this weekend because he was afraid he'd disrupt the bean. I couldn't convince him otherwise. I have no clue why my stupid cycles went from 33 days to what 45? Why can't we just get this right? One of my best friends announced that when her dh gets home from overseas they are starting to try in January-and I'm so sure she'll get pg right away. I love her to peices but when she calls I get about 5 words in. It'll be all about her. My other best friend is looking to get married as soon as she graduates in May. They've been using the Pull and Pray method. She told me she wouldn't mind getting pg either. So here is me, with my SIL pg and due just months after I would have been due. She lives in the same town and I can't even bring myself to hang out with her or take her to lunch. Anyone have a hole? I want to borrow it until af arrives. Better take stock in Puffs kleenex too, You'll make a fortune this week.
I've been pondering stepping down as cohost too. I know I go through my weeks where I will step back a little, but I think I'm done. I think someone else will enjoy it more than I do. I guess I should go tell them huh? Sorry...
<div align="center">My baby girl, Jillian Autumn, is due in December!
I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time right now...I know that my ability to be upbeat and positive is pretty hit-or-miss these days. And watch out when it misses. But just know that things will turn around for you very soon and you won't even remember feeling this sad. Until then, lots of HUGS!
I am sorry your having a rough time right now. We all go through it alot. Lots of hugs to you!!
Wife to Brian since October 2004, Mama too:
Jakob (May 12th 2004- Feb. 24th 2009 Had Joubert Syndrome RIP)
2 Baby beans lost
Ava Sept 14th 2007, Beaux Oct 3rd 2012
* Tubal reversal December 17th 2010
Uh! It's so unfair, isn't it? Why can't it be so easy for everyone?!?! And don't feel the need to be "upbeat" all the time... I am sure that everyone who is unfortunate enough to have to use these loss boards have their down times, and that is OK. Hang in there. I hope it will all happen for you soon.
sarah im so sorry honey. do your boobs always hurt at af time? when i was pregnant last time the only symptoms i had were sore boobs and late af. Im not going to go on and on about dont give up (although you shouldnt) but i know thats not what you want to hear when you feel like crap. I wish i was closer to you, id give you a huge and share a box of kleenex's with ya. I hope that even if your not pregnant this month, you get pregnant before your friends do because im sure it will be alot easier on you if they get pregnant right away. I know all too well how you feel about being so down and distant, i do this too, esp around AF time. im on cycle 18 and im so drained and frustrated..i feel like this is all i will ever be doing, ttc, like its NEVER going to stop.