[katiesmom0219]

Hi everyone. I found out on 2/27 (when I thought I was 10 weeks) that the fetus stopped developing around 6-7 weeks. I just had a D&C on Monday. This was my first miscarriage, and like many of you, I had a normal healthy baby 3 years ago and excepted things to be the same the second time around, but it wasn't. I knew of so many people who had gone through a miscarriage and of course always thought it wouldn't happen to me....but it did.

I'm torn about when to start trying again. My dr said to just let one cycle happen and then I can start, but I don't know if I'll be ready then.

Part of me feels that I need to start trying right away (and hoping everything is okay this time) it will put this horrible experience behind me. But then there's that part that is terrified to go through this again and I should wait.

Dh and I have been very blessed with being very fertile, got pregnant both times on one try. Because of this, I've been able to plan due dates around work and other things. So of course I'm nervous that things will be not so easy this time because of the d&c.

Now I feel like, after this experience, you can't plan anything because you never know what will happen and just say screw the planning and just have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Ughhh...I'm so torn about this. I'm worried that if I wait too long then I may never try again out of fear.

Sorry for the venting. I guess I'm looking for others to say they felt the same way and I'd love to hear how you dealt with your feelings and decided to start trying again.

I do want to be pregnant again and have another baby, but how do you get past the fear?

Thanks for reading and your replies...

~Ali~

[Hannahsmommie]

Hi, Ali. I'm sorry about your loss. I have a 4 yr old DD and she was conceived very easily. I had a m/c at 8 weeks. We've been trying again since January...I would have never thought it would be this hard.

My doctor also told me to try again after one cycle. We're trying but it's not working. I know what you're saying about the planning...I've thought about skipping the next 2 cycles because of the holidays, but then I think "what if it doesn't happen after that?" I wanted to be pregnant before I turned 35, which will be in December.

[SPinkD]

Ali, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any other children, but when we first started trying, we got pregnant first try. I went in for my 8 week ultrasound only to find that the baby had stopped growing 6-7 weeks as well. I had my D&C at about 10 weeks after they confirmed there was still no growth. I think I was very much in shock when it happened and it really didn't sink in until my body decided not to cooperate. It was almost exactly 3 months until my AF arrived for the first time. From the D&C date, I would bleed two weeks and stop two weeks, until finally I had that first normal cycle. It was very emotional and I am actually very thankful for it because it made me cope with what was happening. We gave it one more normal cycle before starting again and by that time, I knew I was emotionally ready (as much as you can be). Give yourself some time, I think when you are ready, you will know you are ready.

As far as timing goes, I completely understand where you are coming from. When we first decided to try, I wanted to wait until the due date would be out of the holidays and then I wanted to wait until we got back from vacation...so we started in July and whoop, PG. March baby, perfect. This 2nd time around hasn't been too easy. I am laughing at the fact that I tried so hard not to have a holiday baby and now that we are in the November and December DDCs, I am not bothered by it a bit. What is important it a healthy baby.

I wish you the best of luck and we are all here for you along the way.