[Brittanie]

I found out that my older brother and his wife had been TTC unsuccessfully for almost a year when I got pregnant with Cora. Needless to say, Amber didn't take it well (apparently her sister and another SIL also announced pregnancies at the same time). They were TTC all through my pregnancy with Cora. Amber said some pretty harsh things, when when I lost my baby, really felt guilty for the things she had said.

Then they took a break (Amber is manic-depressive, and her meds were all out of whack, so they decided to focus on getting that sorted out without the stress of TTC).

So now they are TTC again. They can't really afford to do any fertility treatments, and they were thinking that Amber's medication issues were a lot part of why they couldn't conceive (Amber has a daughter from a previous relationship...Jared has no kids of his own). I'm really hoping for them. And praying a lot. I actually basically told God the other day that I CAN'T finish another pregnancy in the time they've been trying, so Amber HAS to get pregnant in the next 3 months. He probably laughed at me.


So...is there anything I can do to support them without rubbing my pregnancy in their faces?

Truthfully hun, not to sound harsh or rude, you cant support them. Even if you try, it seems getting pg is easy for you and it will make her(maybe not him) even more mad at you. I know I would be, if I was ttc for a long time and someone who can get pg easy tries to tell me things. Maybe talk to him about it, but stay away from her. That is just me speaking maybe someone else can help you more. I just know how I would feel being we have been TTC for a while.

i completely disqagree, you coukld pull Amber aside and tell her how2 much you love her and your bro and that your p-raying for them that they will soon be blessed with a baby as well. if it comes back bad against y9ou dont worry about it manic people do alot and say alot of crazy things sometimes when their feelings are hurt, but she will atleasst know thaqt y6our stnad with them rather than against them hun..... i'm manic swo i can kinda tell ya this from my feelisng about when my cousin was pregnant... and we were ttc

I think its best to tell him how you feel because she may get more upset hun. I am sorry Starry at this moment I think its best to tell him anything. No point upsetting her, tell him that your there for them no matter what. This way you dont get upset and she doesnt either. Better to keep everyone happy and not hurt. I am sure if you told him to tell her how you feel and tell her your there for them that it would be better on both of you. Its really up to you hun.

[Brittanie]

My SIL and I don't live in the same state, so I don't talk to her all that often.

I talked to her at my sister's wedding in December. I didn't have her phone number when I called people to tell them I was pregnant and my mother said that I was probably "a little afraid" to tell her, and she was hurt by that. My mom was wrong, though. So we talked about it. I wanted to let her know I didn't "not tell her" on purpose. I know that she isn't upset that I got pregnant this time, because we lost Cora, I just don't want to rub it in her face, y'know?

But I'll let them know we're praying for them. I guess that's all that I can do.

I would call her up then and tell her no matter what your there for her. Its really up to you, and I just pray no one gets hurt. Lots of luck hun.

But I'll let them know we're praying for them. I guess that's all that I can do.[/b]

i think that's about the only thing you can do. now, here's my point of view on the situation lol! i would not be upset or feel like you were rubbing it in my face not only because you lost Cora but because you were TTC yourself. it is not your fault you get pregnant easily. some people do and that doesn't upset me at all. what does upset me is those who get pregnant and weren't trying and didn't want to get pregnant or don't want want their babies or don't deserve to have babies. i have a friend who got pregnant her first month trying at the same time i got pregnant. our m/c were within days of each other and then she got pregnant again right away. i was and still am extrememly excited for her. i wouldn't wish that everyone else had fertility problems just because i do. she may feel differently though being that she's manic so i guess that you can tell her you'll be there for her and then let it go at that. maybe just don't bring up your pregnancy unless she asks. i hope everything works out for all of you.