[baby4me?]

Hi ladies,

Our board has been a little slow lately so I thought I would post a couple questions. Just curious how all of you ladies deal with your losses?? I know that every now and then I get sad and several things have helped to pull me out of my funk. So if you don't mind sharing...


For me... being busy really helps! When I get down I need to focus on something else beside getting pregnant or my losses. After the 2nd loss, we painted the basement, which took a good month! My next project is to get my gardens in shape... of course I still have to wait until Spring is here for good!

Also, finding fun things to do in town instead of just sitting at home. I really like to tour historic homes, mansions, and interesting architecture. We recently toured a house not too far from us built by Frank Loyd Wright. It was lots of fun! Plus, DH and I love to travel and we are going to DC this week and are planning a month long camping trip this summer!!

Also, I am in counseling and it has helped immensley. DH and I understand each other's feelings about the losses more and I feel like I can talk to him more about what's going on inside me.

[Brittanie]

I talk to her a lot. Does that sound silly? Like, when I'm really down, I'll tell her how much I miss her, and what I would like to be doing with her.

It seems like that would seem harder if I do that, but it sort of fills me with peace. Like she's there with me in those moments.

[baby4me?]

Brittanie,

That doesn't sound silly at all! I think it makes a lot of sense. I would probably do the same thing if I went through what you did. Maybe Cora will be looking out for her little sister from heavan....

God bless you and your little one

[Brittanie]

Maybe Cora will be looking out for her little sister from heavan....[/b]

I tell her she needs too...lol. "You'd better be watching out for you little sister!"

[linbein]

I think for me, what helps me cope the most right now is my daughter. She is wonderful, and I am even more thankful for her now, after all this. I just always took pregnancy for granted, like it was just an easy thing, you get pregnant, you have a baby. And now that I know that's just not so...I am just so thankful to have a happy healthy almost 4 year old little girl to love! She has been so great lately, and I just love her more and more everyday.

I think also hope gets me though...the "hope" of having another baby.....even though I will be scared to death during my next pregnancy....I still "hope" that things will go as they are supposed to go....

[Mom 2 Avery]

I was going to wait and see what everyone else said, but here it goes.

I am in this alone. I have two people that let me speak of Avery IRL. My aunt,
who was with me when I delivered my angel, and my friend Patty, who never
got to see Avery. Other than that, nobody wants to "hear it". So, they don't.
(I've been told by family I should be "over it" by now as it's over a year ago....
but, alas, I'm nowhere near "over" it. I am forever changed by it.
(I think the first thing to go was my patience. I write people off so very easily now...
if they can't be there for me I refuse to be there for them!)

Anyway, sorry for the vent!
I hope you find your answers!
Remember, you're not alone in your loss! There are LOTS of us out here!!!!

Hugs!
Dawna

[Mum2three]

i find if im feeling down and out, i get up and start baking. i will make cookies or cakes stuff like that. but i also found that making a scrapbook has really helped my mind process..i find that when im working on the scrapbook, im feeling good and i know that both my angles are there watching me, and telling me what to put there. i have even started my older boys scrapbook/ baby book. and it does help emotionally. but i try to do things with my boys, they get me outta my mood that im in. they are my angels and i love them and miss them so much!! but i have 2 more angels here that need mom for the time being. and i say to myself, when i do go i have 2 children up in heaven with their arms open waiting for me. so in both worlds i have it the best! 2 angels here and 2 angels above!!

[Fpena128]

Hello. I have been going through fertility for 5yrs now and recently lost my 5th baby. For a while I let my m/c's and fertility treatments take over my life. I was miserable I wouldn't do anything. My wonderful husband forced me to go back to dance and go back to doing my floral business. I finally feel somewhat like my old self again. I took a break with fertility and will start up again in September but for now it will be all about me! When I start to feel the baby bug (which is every week) I look back on what I have done with these past few months and feel a sense of pride. I have won a ballroom competition, booked two parties and skydived 2x/s! I know my child is out there somewhere! Whether it be biologically mine and my husbands or adopted I will have my baby one day! Good luck to us all!

[Hannahsmommie]

I talk to her a lot. Does that sound silly? Like, when I'm really down, I'll tell her how much I miss her, and what I would like to be doing with her.

It seems like that would seem harder if I do that, but it sort of fills me with peace. Like she's there with me in those moments.[/b]

Oh Brittanie....that's not silly in the least bit...that's actually quite beautiful. I'm sure she's right there beside you.

I think for me, what helps me cope the most right now is my daughter. She is wonderful, and I am even more thankful for her now, after all this. I just always took pregnancy for granted, like it was just an easy thing, you get pregnant, you have a baby. And now that I know that's just not so...I am just so thankful to have a happy healthy almost 4 year old little girl to love! She has been so great lately, and I just love her more and more everyday.

I think also hope gets me though...the "hope" of having another baby.....even though I will be scared to death during my next pregnancy....I still "hope" that things will go as they are supposed to go....[/b]

Wow! Are you inside my head??? So weird....I was going to say the same exact thing, that I am so grateful for my DD (who's 4) and that I took her pregnancy for granted.

[Hannahsmommie]

I was going to wait and see what everyone else said, but here it goes.

I am in this alone. I have two people that let me speak of Avery IRL. My aunt,
who was with me when I delivered my angel, and my friend Patty, who never
got to see Avery. Other than that, nobody wants to "hear it". So, they don't.
(I've been told by family I should be "over it" by now as it's over a year ago....
but, alas, I'm nowhere near "over" it. I am forever changed by it.
(I think the first thing to go was my patience. I write people off so very easily now...
if they can't be there for me I refuse to be there for them!)

Anyway, sorry for the vent!
I hope you find your answers!
Remember, you're not alone in your loss! There are LOTS of us out here!!!!

Hugs!
Dawna[/b]

Be "over it"??? That makes me so mad. There's nothing to "get over"....you lost a child. I'm sorry, I haven't experienced the loss that you have so I don't know how you feel, I can only imagine, but I don't think I could ever be "over it"....that's just awful.

[Ava+Bryce's_Mommy]

Be "over it"??? That makes me so mad. There's nothing to "get over"....you lost a child. I'm sorry, I haven't experienced the loss that you have so I don't know how you feel, I can only imagine, but I don't think I could ever be "over it"....that's just awful.


[/b]

UGGHH...I total agree!!! There is no way you should be over it! That just horrible and inconsiderate that someone could say that or think like that!!! I'm angry now!!! UGGGHH!!

[Mom 2 Avery]

And now you see why I love you guys so much!!!!

I really do mean it when I send hugs!!!!

Love ya!
Dawna