Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining here with you! My name is Tabatha and I'm 27. I have two little boys, Gabriel and Tristan. I had 2 miscarriages and a stillbirth with my husband (now ex). I'm currently ttc with my SO, Tim
!
My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks
. I started having brown spotting at 5w1d. It was only there when I wiped and it was scary but everyone told me it was okay so I tried not to worry. The day I turned 6 weeks I was talking on the phone with a friend and laying on my couch. I started feeling a pulling sensation in my lower abdomen. I knew something was definitely amiss. After a while I gathered up the nerve to go to the bathroom. I wasn't really bleeding but I was passing tissue, clear but tinged with blood. I knew it was over. We went to the ER and they confirmed my cervix was open and I was indeed miscarrying. It was so devastating
.
We started ttc right away but things just weren't working out! We ended up ttc for 15 months trying to get pregnant again. We finally conceived my oldest ds, Gabriel. He is my sweet baby boy. He is 4 now! Something seemed 'off' about his pregnancy from the start. The sac was too small but he had a strong heartbeat. I had oligohydramnios throughout his pregnancy (not enough amniotic fluid). They were never to determine exactly what was causing the oligohydramnios but I was watched very closely. He developed intrauterine growth retardation during the last trimester and we ended up inducing labor at 36w5d. He arrived the next day via emergency c-section. He was a tiny little fella, 5lbs 1/2 oz and 17 3/4 inches long. We had some major scary medical stuff happen in the first 6 weeks of his life. We eventually determined after exhaustive testing that he was missing a teeny tiny part of one of his chromosomes. He went on to be remarkably healthy in spite of his condition but he is severely delayed in development and has some mental retardation. He is pure joy, he is the happiest sweetest boy you'll ever meet. He is such a blessing in my life and I'm so thankful for him.
We knew we wanted more children so we stopped using birth control when Gabriel was 3 months old. We went on to conceive, my youngest ds, Tristan! I had the easiest, most perfect pregnancy with Tristan. Well, at the end I got pre-eclampsia but it was at the very end and we did a c-section and he arrived safely and without problem. He is a very healthy mischievous little guy. He will be 3 in July and keeps me on my toes. He is very sweet and loving with his brother
.
After Tristan, we assumed a not-trying-not-preventing attitude. I conceived again when Tristan was 7 months old. Everything seemed just fine with pregnancy but I started having these terrifying incidents of bright red spotting with clots at 6 weeks. I had 4 in total with the last being at 7w6d. Each time we went to the ER and was told everything looked fine, the bleeding had dwindled to some brown spotting and my cervix was closed. I went to the dr after each time and had an u/s and everything looked fine until the final u/s at 8 weeks. The baby had stopped growing a few days earlier
. A d&c was scheduled but not for 2 days. Later that afternoon I started to experience the most intense painful cramping I have ever had, I passed clots but no full on bleeding. That continued intermittently for the next two days until I had my d&c.
We really wanted to have another baby at that point so we started ttc immediately (with the dr's approval, of course). I conceived our 2nd month trying. Everything seemed perfect. I had one incident of pink spotting at 8 weeks but the baby looked great with a nice strong heartbeat. The pregnancy continued on without a problem. I went in my for 16 week check and it started as a very routine and quick appt...only he couldn't find the heartbeat. So he sent me down for a quick u/s. The tech found the heartbeat but I knew something was very wrong. Having had two successful pregnancies I knew what I was seeing on the screen was wrong. The demeanor of the tech was solemn. She said she was going to get the dr and knew it was really bad news.
My dr came in and quickly sent for another dr with more u/s experience. My heart was sinking lower and lower. Finally, the u/s was over and my dr told me the baby had devastating birth defects that were 'incompatible with life'. We were sent for a level III u/s with the perinatologist the next day. They confirmed what the dr had told me. Our baby could not live and there was nothing they could do. Her brain had only partially formed, there was whole in the back of her head, her spine hadn't properly formed and the skin had not closed over the spine, her abdominal wall had not closed and her heart was beating on the outside of her chest.
After a week of agonizing and consultation with the doctors we decided to induce labor
. Given the situation the drs were very concerned with my health and ability to carry our baby girl. It was the most difficult thing I have ever been faced with. Our sweet girl, Katriel Star, was born sleeping at 17 weeks. I knew Katriel was the perfect name. It's Hebrew and it means God is my Crown.
My husband and I seperated several months later and I thought I would never find anyone else or have any more children. Until Tim came along. He is such a wonderful man. We knew we wanted to have children but have just finally decided to ttc this month. It will be his first child! He has been really sweet and funny! He already came home with a box of pregnancy tests and I'm only 4dpo! He is so not going to help my POAS addiction
!
I'm sorry to have a written a novel up there! I get carried away sometimes! I look forward to getting to know you all!
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