sorry ladies, i know i haven't really been posting here since i started my break but i really need to vent and i know you ladies will understand. don't you just love how everyone on the world has an opinion as to why you haven't gotten pregnant or exactly what you need to do to get pregnant? i ran into a friend at the grocery store who had her 4th kid 6 months ago. anyways, she was like oh when are you guys going to have a baby? well we've been trying for 5 1/2 years. then she procedes to tell me what i'm doing wrong and exactly what i need to do. oh and have i had any testing? no, huh uh, after all this time i never though i might need testing. i thought it was normal to take years to have a baby. can you hear the sarcasm in that? then she kept going on and on about what i should be doing. okay because i haven't tried that one yet! there's the sarcasm again. i have tried EVERYTHING! but wait, here's the big secret. everyone who's dealing with infertility problems listen carefully. the way to get pregnant is to stop trying. can i scream now? like in the past 5 1/2 years i haven't given up at least a thousand and one times. if it were that easy i'd have 10 kids by now. oh yeah and the real kicker here, at least my m/c was only at 6 weeks cause if were at like 10 or 11 weeks then it would've been hard to deal with. but at 6 weeks then hey, your barely even pregnant. what was i thinking? all the hell i went through was for nothing cause it was supposed to be easy at only 6 weeks. i'm going to go punch a wall now.

[zzz]

Wow... I'm sorry you had to deal with someone so insensitive. It's amazing what people will say when you are ttc - they are trying to help but you really want to knock their teeth out for some things they come out with.
I had a m/c in Feb. of this year due to a blighted ovum, and can you believe that someone told me I shouldn't be upset because there really wasn't any baby? That's just rediculous - it doesn't matter if your baby was with you for 2 days or 2 months, a loss is a loss.

I hope you have a much better day today.

Lisa

[Shaustin]

OOOOhhhhhhhhhh, it is really frustrating when people are so insensitive. I guess I just don't understand why people feel like they have been in our shoes, so much that that they can give advice (which is generally hurtful). I guess I always just chalk it up to ignorance. I don't mean that in a mean way, but obviously if she understood what you were going through...she wouldn't have said ANY of that. I'm so sorry she said those things to you, as if its not hard enough, then you have people telling you you're doing it all wrong!
Anyhow, I'm so very sorry, and I hope your break brings your a BFP!

[aimeen]

I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like that.

oh hun...im sorry sorry sorry! you should nevr have to deal with someone who is soo insensative and even down right rude!!!!! She was soo worng to tell you all the things she did... i have no iea why some people think they have all the answers when its very ovbious they do not!!!! HUGE HUGS! HUN!!!

[SPinkD]

Awe, I am so sorry. People can be so insensitive! Like DUH!

[septmommie]

I'm so sorry hun.
I know how you feel tho.
Sometimes people just don't know how it feels until they go through one.
Altho no matter how much they upset me I would never wish one upon them.

((hugs))

[baby4me?]

URGGGHHHH!! What MORON!!! I think I would have told her off! What did you do Juls??

If someone told me that it was easier for me to loose my pregnancy at 6 weeks I would have freaked! I lost mine at 5 weeks 4 days... and I have dealt with depression and went to counseling for months... but I wasn't that pregnant? URGHHH!

So sorry you had to deal with that!

i din't do anything, i've learned by now that they just don't get it no matter what you say anyways. grrrr....

thanks everyone, i knew ya'll would understand...

[greenchild]

I am so sorry she said all of that to you!!! I think septmommie hit the nail on the head, tht they just don't get it unless they've had a loss, not that we would wish that on anyone!!!

[christina7777]

[Daniellea22]

okay..EWW..im so sorry, what a moron, seriously. I just wanna hug you juls

[tamaranwes]

I hate when people intrude into my life like that. I hate that we have to deal with this stuff. The whole time we were trying the last 8 months my husband kept saying your making this too hard, just relax and let it happen. P'ed me off everytime because when you want something so bad you try everything. people just dont understand where we're coming from, do they? well, now I cant argue with him, he's busy saying i told you so.
I actually was trying not to get pregnant this month because of everything going on and I have to get a few vaccinations before fall classes and I dont know what to do now. Anyway, I dont understand how this happens but I definatly aint going to say "stop trying and it'll happen." thats still bs if you ask me. I wish I could send you some love for agrivating times like this. Just dont punch those pretty new walls you have!

[LisaB]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I am screaming for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't count how many times people have said stuff like that to me, especially the "Just stop trying so hard" part. It is so insensitive and stupid, I just can't believe it.

Anyway, I just started going to a new doctor, who gave me an informational pamphlet he wrote himself. In it, it says this:

The time has come to stop listening to:

1. You were unlucky this time, try again.
2. It is God's will; you can always adopt.
3. It was meant to be.
4. The baby was abnormal.
5. The body knows when a bay needs to be rejected.
6. Next time we will try more progesterone.
7. If you miscarry frequently we will try IVF-ET.
8. Next time we will try donor eggs; your eggs are too old.
9. Next time we will try aspirin and heparin.
10. Next time we will try IVIg.

It was so great to read this and know what NOT to listen to!

[lynie07]

aww juls l'm so sorry,some people just don't know when to shut up