[LisaB]

Hi girls, normally I post in TTC w/medical assistance but I post here sometimes too. Recently we lost our 3rd, and I'm beginning to think it will just never happen.

We're going to keep trying, but we've also been considering adoption, since we're both 38 and not getting any younger. But then, a situation came up. A family member (by marriage) whom I've never met had a baby Jan 28, the same day we lost our 2nd.

The social worker called the family and asked if anyone in the family would be interested in adopting the baby. It almost seems like fate, doesn't it?

I don't know the law and so I don't even know if we count as family members, since we're not blood relatives. I don't know if the baby is healthy (the mom is an alcoholic and abuses drugs, even during her pregnancies - she has several children). I don't know if we could terminate her parental rights or 100% prevent visitation, though I think we could, at least legally.

I don't know if it's a good idea to even consider this. But DH and I are starting to get very excited at the thought of adopting this baby.

I'm just wondering, anyone have experience with adopting a family member? Do you think this is a good or bad idea?

[dzine21]

I do not have anything similar in situation. But I would say go for the adoption! You may still get pg, if you choose. A child is a child, and this one needs you.

[Marissa]

I don't have any experience in adopting.

But i think you should defintely look into it. Maybe call the case worker and talk to him/her and see where you can start to adopt this baby?

Good luck.

[kimmiec]

I don't know anything about it either, but if you haven't been to the adoption board on here already...they might have some really good advice to give! I say go for it though how exciting for you!

Lisa, you might want to check out the adoption board

http://www.justmommies.com/boards/in...p?showforum=89

i don't have any experience with this, but it's definately something worth looking into. good luck with your decision!

I dont have anything that happened like that, but I agree its wroth looking into. I would call the case worker and ask them all of the questions you have hun.

[Osu2k1]

I agree with all the PP. Talk to the social worker and see what she says. I think it's a great opportunity for you both, plus knowing you are helping a "family member" is a nice thing too. I hope the baby is healthy and not too messed up my mom's selfish behavior.

[brandiruss]

My cousin (daughter of my uncle) was adopted by her Paternal Grandfather immediately after her birth (her mother died during delivery)

So, she is my cousin by blood, my AUNT by law -----it's pretty funny actually!


I would say GO FOR IT!!!!!!! Keep us posted!

[LisaB]

Hi ladies, thanks for all the encouraging responses!!

Sorry to bump this up, but I wanted to let you know that the paternal grandmother decided to adopt the baby, so there was nothing we could do. Fortunately for the baby, the same woman already adopted a sister to this baby, so she'll have a blood sister. That's probably good for her, although I am just sick thinking of these people who crank out kids who don't want kids, drink and do drugs while pregnant and dump off the kids on their parents... here I am, avoiding everything from farmed salmon to tap water, and I can't even have one baby. Ok, pity party is over!!

[CandiceN]

I'm so sorry it didn't work out. I hope you get your sticky BFP soon!

[baby4me?]

I am so sorry hon. It definitely doesn't make sense.