[zzz]

Hey ladies... I just need to post a quick vent here. I'm a member of another community, and I read a post there last night that just got to me... A 17 year old girl posted asking for advice - I'll paste the post, it will be easier than explaining it.

"So yes I am young but Im ready to have a baby I Plan to get Pregnant as soon as I have saved up some money I have a wonderful guy and we both know the ''consequences'' if you will of having a child I know we could do this together and its somthing Im really ready for Advice??? (Oh and I am only 17)"

Now I am not at all saying that young people can't be good parents. I am a young mother (22) and I consider myself a loving, responsible parent. But... I don't think this girl is AT ALL ready to have a child. I mean, there is not even punctuation anywhere in that paragraph....

Is it just me - or does just the fact that she is so sure that she is ready to have a baby when she can't even legally live on her own yet say that she isn't? I suppose that her decision doesn't really affect me, but it just gets so frustrating when KIDS (she is still a kid!) think having a baby is something fun to do, and all of us here are struggling with loss/infertility?

So that's my little rant for the day - thanks for reading.

Lisa

[Ava+Bryce's_Mommy]

AMEN...I feel the same...I know KIDS just like her, that have more than 1 child...and I cant even have one myself!!! I'm married, settled down, financially ready....why cant I have one?

[*Bobbie*]

I see both sides of this one....

I got preggo at 15 with my son....not because I wanted a baby, but because I was young and stupid! We didn't use any form of BC and I just didn't care.

I am lucky though...his dad and I got married when I was 18. I was never on any assistance and paid all my own bills. We bought our house that year and at 20 I had my daughter. The marriage lasted until I was 26.

Fast forward... I am now 32 and it took me 4yrs to get a BFP and I lost my baby at 14w. Life takes some strange turns sometimes.

[zzz]

I think your story is quite different from the girl that wants to try to get pregnant. Kids are irresponsible and pregnancies sometimes happen - when they do, you have to deal with the situation and it sounds like you and your ex husband made the best decisions you could. I respect you for that. But... most situations don't turn out nearly as good as yours.

The difference is you weren't actively, willingly trying to bring a child into the world because you thought it would be fun. This girl says that she has a niece and nephew so she knows what parenting is like. As I'm sure you can back me up on this - she doesn't. I had my daughter at 19 - and I am very happy with my life now, but it was HARD.

Just because you are young doesn't mean that you can't be a good parent - but I do think it is irresponsible and just plain stupid to be TRYING for a baby when you aren't even out of high school yet.

[greenchild]

I agree. I mean, it's one thing to get pg when that young when you're not expecting it, it happens, but to "try" when you're THAT young? Sure, babies are cute and look like a lot of fun, but when you get no sleep and your baby is crying all the time, and all the trips to the dr for everything, well, at that age I just don't think she knows what she's in for. There's no way that a niece & nephew prepares you for parenting, unless you are their sole caretaker!
Here's my advice, for what it's worth. Get a puppy. If you can successfully raise and TRAIN (and I don't mean just the basic sit/stay/beg stuff) a dog without giving up or giving it away, then you will be much better prepared (although certainly not completely ) when it comes to having a baby. With Iria alone, I was up with her every night for the 1st 1 1/2 yrs because she couldn't hold it that long. And all the times she was sick, especially a few years ago when she was sick from Dec. thru Feb . . . that was alot of vet visits, and I had to use a baby monitor for her at night! I have to say I feel much better prepared for a baby than I was before we got our dogs.

[zzz]

Here's my advice, for what it's worth. Get a puppy.[/b]

I totally agree with the dog thing! Of course nothing can ever really "prepare" you for having a child - but that is a great idea. I have a childhood friend who is 22, and is schizo-affective (which means she isn't tecnically schizophrenic but has a lot of the symptoms) and has severe mental retardation. She can function, but she has the mentality of a 6 year old. She was in an adult program and met a guy with problems similar to hers, and they are going to get married. They talk about having kids. (She will NEVER be in a place where she can care for a child... or even a pregnancy.) We always tell her to get a dog! I think it's great advice.

Lisa