[callarose]

I haven't posted here much, because my cycle is so long...I haven't had much to post about. But now...OMG!!! I think I FINALLY o'd!!! Talk about a long cycle! I'm on cd83 now, and ff gave me crosshairs on cd80.

I have very mixed feelings about this. I'm glad that I may have o'd on my own - I was afraid I wasn't going to at all. I'm glad that I can figure out my luteal phase now.

I want desperately to be pregnant!!! but I don't think I am - after cd 40, we stopped trying. I just kept temping for my RE appt. So, we bd on cd79 and I showered after and didn't use Instead Cups. So I doubt we caught it. I am, however, treating my body as if I may be - no drinking, eating right, exercising, staying away from smoke and all that. With my luck, I'll assume I'm not pregnant and then do something to cause a m/c or damage to the baby.

As much as I want to be pregnant, I'm so scared! I had a m/c in March - that cycle I o'd on cd49. I've always thought that my late o may have been the reason for my m/c...and now I o'd even later! I haven't had af since my m/c. I don't know if I can go through another m/c...I'm just so worried! But at the same time, I'm going to be heartbroken if I'm not pregnant!

On the plus side, my first RE is on Tuesday. So I'm hoping she'll check my levels to confirm once and for all if I am or not. And if I am, hopefully they'll be able to do something to help it stick. I'm also going to ask to have my thyroid checked - my low temps have me wondering.

Anyway, I think I'm about to be more active here again!!!! Let the emotional roller coaster begin!!!!

Any thoughts?

[BabyBird]

YAY!!!!!!!! I know how good it felt when I got my first crosshairs after my m/c and I have a "normal" length cycle so I can only imagine how excited you must be!! Don't worry about the length contributing to your m/c becasue the only part of your cycle that matters after you O is your LP. Now that you have had this first cycle maybe your body will be more on track next cycle (if you need it!). Good luck!