[karag]

I was a member of the FEB DDC. I went in for my regular check up and they couldnt locate the hb so they did a sonogram.
The baby was measuring exactly where it should have been it just didnt have a hb. We had just had a sono two weeks ago and saw the hb...170! It looked perfect!!!!

They scheduled me for a d&c Friday afternoon. I had already started to dialate and my body was preparing to do what it needed to do.

I can't sleep... I can't stop crying.... I feel so empty. My husband and I were so looking forward to this baby. I can't hardly function so I'm turning to you girls for some support and answers.

How long did you wait to start trying?

Does the empty feeling go away???????????????????



Thanks ladies.... I can honestly say I never realized how hard it would be to go through a m/c. How attached you could get to something you never even saw! that was only with me for 11 weeks.. my heart is just breaking.

[*Bobbie*]

I am sooo sorry this happened to you

I was 11 weeks when my little one's heart stopped too. I had a home doppler that I rented and one day the hb was gone and I couldn't find it again.

It took my body until 14 weeks to let go. It was over for me when my water broke. My loss was in March. We started TTC right away, but still nothing. Every month gets a little easier. Kinda like two steps forward, one back. Some days it feels like it is the day I found out *she* was gone the loss is that deep. Others I can just live life and even smile at pregnant women. It took me about a month before I wasn't crying at least every other day. It took me a week after my D&C (I tried natural m/c but after five days of trying to m/c my doctor made me have the D&C) to get back to work and even then I was so weak and pale. I wasn't physically myself for weeks.


I still have days that I cry for hours, but they are few and far between.

It will get easier for you...it just won't ever totally go away. Give yourself time and let yourself grieve as long as you need to. We are all here for you on this board and the Pregnancy Loss board.

Let me know if there is anything I can do...



Bobbie

[fairy9800]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost me baby at 9 weeks this past Feb. and i still have that empty feeling though it is getting a little better as time goes by. You will always feel that loss for you child. I have been trying to think of a name for my baby because I think that my help with the mourning process and maybe that would be good idea for you too.

We started TTC again right away but my body had a lot of trouble getting back to normal so I had to go back on the pill for three months. The doctors suggest wainting until after your first AF to try. Don't get too disscouraged though if it doesn't happen right away. It takes time for your body to heal.

Good luck with trying and again I am so sorry for your loss.

[greenchild]

I am so sorry for your loss!!! I still have days where I can barely keep the tears at bay and I was just over at my sister's last weekend to drop some stuff off and I couldn't wait to get out of there for the physical pain seeing her with her kids was causing. I can't speak for anybody else, but the emptiness feeling hasn't gone away for me but time does make it easier.

[karag]

Thank you ladies.. today was a really rough day. I finally decided to get out of the house today and I swear everywhere I looked I saw a pregnant girl. or a baby! I just couldnt get away from it!
My husband had warned me the day after I had the d&c he went to the store and said he saw at least 10 babies and when he walked in the kitchen the first thing he had seen on tv was the news and they were doing the 1st birthdays and the girls name was Brooklyn.

We had already decided if it was a girl we would name her Brooklyn Marie.. WHAT WAS THE CHANCE OF THAT!

I know I only had this baby inside of me for 11 weeks but I already loved it so much and had so many plans for it. As I am sure all of you had as well.

I feel so lucky to have a husband who has stood beside me and understands... He has been my rock.

Thanks again!

[linbein]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to see this! I was lurking around here as I always am...was a pretty regular poster in this board after my loss in March.
I have been having issues getting onto JM since last Thursday, and was like "Oh my, I missed some news..." I'm so sorry for you loss, and my heart goes out to you right now. Just try to take time out and take care of yourself. I really thought the losses for our group were over...we've lost so many....
I know exactly how you feel. During the week between my u/s...first one showed an empty sac, and they wanted me to come back in a week for the next one, I saw pregnant women EVERYWHERE! We were at the mall that weekend, and I just wanted to run away crying. I kept thinking that it was so unfair that they could have a baby and I couldn't...then I just kept reminding myself that it was just statsitics...it wasn't my time...somehow made me feel better..a little....my MIL was visiting that weekend and just seemed to know everything wrong to say to me, and I was not doing well....
And of course you loved your baby. We women get attached from the moment we get that positive test, and you are allowed to grieve just as long as any other mommy whether it be from an early loss or a latter loss...

I'm here if you need anyone to talk to....also the ladies on the pregnancy loss board are a great comfort as well as the ladies here.

[Aleta]

I am so sorry for your loss. I was also on the Feb DDC. I think you have to wait one or two cycles before you should start trying again. I am not for sure. I go back to the Dr on Wed. This is my first appt after my d&c on Tuesday July 10th. I guess he will let me know when I can start TTC again.

Again I want to express my sincere sympathy.

[MrsRodgers]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you are going through. My angel baby had a heartbeat at 5 weeks! but by week 8 she didnt' and she had stopped growing. I found out on a Thursday and had a D&C on the following Monday. I didn't leave the house for a week. And I cried a lot. There are times when I still cry about losing her. But, I also take comfort in something my friend said to me when I was going through this--her little soul just wasn't ready to come to earth just yet but God will give you a baby in his own time. I hang onto that when I feel really low.

And I remember seeing babies everywhere too. I remember shortly after the D&C we were out to eat at a restaurant and there was this 17 year old girl pregnant with twins and I wanted to get up and slap her. Poor DH had to tell me to stop staring at her like I was going to kill her!! Its just a natural thing because that little bean was inside your body and you were attached to it the minute you found out. I know I was.

You will get through this and we are all here to help!!

[BabyBird]

I am sooo sorry for your loss. I was also a member of the Feb DDC for less than a week when I lost my baby at 5 weeks. It was my second loss and I will tell you that you never forget but it does get easier. Really when you decide you are ready to TTC again, that is the right time. Some Drs say wait and some say go ahead and try. My OB really said it is "better" to wait but that there really isn't any reason except to heal emotionally and just let your body rest. We are TTC again this cycle. I have had one real AF and that is really all she said she wanted us to wait for. It is really up to you and when you are ready. Unless you have some specific reason your Dr would want you to wait. The emptyness still comes and goes at times and I still have moments where I need a good cry and I am sure you will too but it will get easier with time. You need this time to grieve now though so don't try to be strong...let it out and have a good cry.

[~*Kixs*~]

I am very sorry for your loss. To answer your question...No the pain never goes away but it does get better with time. Just let yourself feel and cry or laugh or yell. Soon you will have fewer days that you cry and more that you laugh again. Just remember those 11 weeks with your baby that no one can ever take away from you. We all wish we could have had longer but are glad for what we had.