[Mum2three]

Hey ladies..im having such a emotional day to day! today is my due date for my little man William. He passed away on Feb, 15, 2007. and im telling you ive been trying to keep my mind off of it. and nothing seems to be working. theres only so much that a baseboard can take! im doing so much cleaning. my DH is sitting there just looking at me and thinking, ok shes lost it! Does anyone else feel like this when their due dates come or the anniversary of ur child passing? im looking at my 2 boys and thanking the lucky stars they are hear, so i can just hug and cuddle with today. DH is staying home today, cause he knows that when im emotional im a brat. lol. We drove to his grave sight this morning and i sat there crying and balling, talking to him, reading u name it. brought him some flowers. dusted the dirt off his grave. and came home. its just so hurtful to have to visit your child at a grave, and not in his crib where he belongs. My mom was here today and took the boys so that dh and i could go and see him. im finished making his scrapbook, and i made sure that i finished it this weekend. and i sat there just looking at the pictures and remembering that brief time that i held him and kissed him. But what was nice, was the priest that baptized him before he was gone came over and said a little blessing and lit some candles for him. we sat there and i CRIED while the priest and my hubby calmed me down. i just didnt think that i would take July 13,2007 this hard! im trying in all my power to control myself, but i just cant! im here all alone, hubby ran to the store and the kids are gone. man sometimes i wish that we didnt have feelings or emotions, i think it would be a lot easier when ppl pass away. but then there would not be any compassion in this word. Thanks for listening to my rant.

[greenchild]

due dates are hard! Keeping busy helps, I think. For the 1st loss's due date I was working on the house (big remodel project here) so that helped to use a wrecker bar and be able to smash things! I don't know what I'm going to do for the 2nd one though.

[Mum2three]

Thanks Greenchild. It does help finding something to do. keeping your mind busy helps lots.
thats what i have been doing all day..lol..
i was out swimming with the rugrats, had a nice picnic in the park. now im home and im going to have a COLD shower, and go to bed with the hubby.