[MrsRodgers]

So I'm on CD14 today and my temps have pretty much flat lined. My CM is watery (which it has been since after AF) and CP was in a good place the other night (High and soft) and DH and I have been BD-ing on schedule but I just cant' get over the feeling like this isn't our month. I'm afraid my progesterone level is still way too low--hence the virtual flat line of my temps--and I'm totally discouraged. I won't give up but I almost feel like telling DH, we can BD if you want but I don't think its going to matter. The yesterday and today I've been wicked b*tchy. But in the grocery store last night I walked past this couple with their little infant in his car seat in the cart and I caught a whiff of that baby smell--you know powder and Pampers--and I almost burst into tears right in the produce section!!!! I told DH when I got home and he just looked at me like, you are holding on way too tight and just gave me a hug. Ugh, I feel so disappointed and blah today about TTC.

What is wrong with me???

[fairy9800]

I know how you feel. I got that way before the miscarriage and I'm not looking foward to it again now that we a TTC again. Just don't give up hope. Hang in there and your day will come. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!

[MrsRodgers]

Thanks. It is just so frustrating!!! I'm considering taking a couple months off to get my head screwed on right again so I have a better outlook on it all, but there is no guarantee I won't be just as frustrated! I think the crying over the baby thing was because I'm nearing what would have been my due date (Aug.5th---poor DH's birthday!!). Ugh, I never thought this would be so hard or so emotionally draining.

[*Bobbie*]

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Sometimes I just want to give up too. I know what you mean about the baby smell. It just makes you want to cry. I got a newborn emfamil package in the mail the other day. I should be packing that diaper bag soon, not putting it away for next time.

I hope your temps start cooperating soon. Lots of hugs....

Bobbie

[dee68]

I know exactly how you feel......it is emotionally draining at times...so many ups & downs. And the smallest things can just set you off.

I know I dread checking the mailbox everyday.....baby mags.,coupons,samples...its never ending.

[MrsRodgers]

Yeah, realized too that my baby induced crying session (just after I left the grocery store--in the car) was what would have been my due date. I kept thinking it was on DH's birthday but I went back and looked at an old calendar I had where i wrote in the date way back when and realized that was why I was such a disaster. And my temps aren't cooperating and my DH isn't cooperating either (he was too tired to BD the other night so we went for 3 days with nothing and in the middle of all that my temp went up and my CM was EW but I couldn't get him to function--gggrrrrr) So, needless to say I am still kinda depressed about our chances this month and I've been having those pre-AF mood swings like a lunatic for the past four days. I was sitting here at my desk reading a couple other posts and burst into tears. Ugh.