[further]

Hello ladies! First of all, I'd like to let you all know how sorry I am for your losses and how strong all of you are for trying again. It's not easy, I know.
I hope I'm not overstepping but if I may, I'd like to suggest after having a mc, try to wait a bit of time before you try again.

I lost a baby at 8 wks at the end of last Oct. It was devistating. I felt empty and all I wanted to do was feel "full" again. Our doctor said that we could try after a cycle or two so we did. My last period was dec 28th. So, I was pretty much pregnant after two cycles. I was a MESS. Yes, I wanted this child but I was terrified. It wasn't a good 1st trimester with the constant wiping to check for blood. My mother wasn't even all that exited for fear it would happen again. When I hit my 2nd trimester, I started to breath again, to enjoy my pregnancy until the 16th week.

I had these gushes of blood. I lost clots the size of my hand. Of course, I thought I lost the baby and was amazed to hear a heartbeat in the hospital. From week 16 till now almost 33 weeks, i have had three bleeds like that, 2 hospital stays, a ton of level 2 ultrasounds, months of bed rest and so much worry.
The good news is, since week 24, I've been doing well. I'm off bed rest and the baby is fine. I am expected to go to term but at that 16 week time, the babies chances were not so good. I got lucky.

I had a large SCH in my placenta. That's a blood clot that can tear your placenta. There isn't much research on the subject but about 50 percent of women who suffer from this go on to have normal pregnancys. I belong to a support group of women who have sches. We all were talking and wanted to know why we got them. We don't know the answer but we do know that about 90 percent of us got pregnant give or take a cycle or 2 after having a mc. I don't know if there is a link there but perhaps there is.

I'm sorry If I overstepped. I'm really glad to be having this baby. Everything worked out for me but i'm lucky and have been through a lot. I just feel it may be safer to wait a little bit before ttc again.

[*Bobbie*]

I am sorry your pregnancy hasn't gone well...but am glad things are okay now.

I don't want to start a debate on this..but here are my thoughts......

I would kill for a BFP even if it was the month after my m/c. But that's just me... there will always be a risk of m/c. I will never be relaxed while pregnant. So I will take it when I can get it...KWIM? My doctor told me to wait one cycle. My body is waiting a little too long. For some of us time is an issue with age.

I have to admit your post kind of offended me.

I do wish you the best for the rest of your pregnancy though.

[dee68]

I am sorry for your loss...
and happy that your pregnancy is going well....
I lost my little one at the end of last Oct. also @ 11.5 weeks.........I do understand what you are saying, I can't say I was overly offended, but I can understand if some of the ladies here might be. It is a heartbreaking ordeal, and most of us have had all of the lectures from people who may not understand what we are going through emotionally.
Personally, I feel if your dr. says its ok, and you are ready physically and EMOTIONALLY, I say go for it.
whether it be 1 cycle or 12.....but that's just me.

Dee

[tparum]

i agree w/bobbie. even for me as LATE pg losses my dr. even told me at the time to wait one cycle and i could try again and look now i got a little boy that is healthy as can be.

and this is for some of the ladies on here like bobbie said a time limit for instence if we was to go to ur ddc and make suggestions to u it might affend u awfuly bad and that dont feel good at all. as women with whats been going on w/us we all have the right to ttc but it just goes to show u how strong we all are.

thank you and i hope ur pg goes great and u get to hold a healthy baby soon as to us alot of us its not over tell the day we get to hear the first cry and hold them and say they are ours to keep.

[further]

I'm really sorry if I offened anyone here. I really do know what it is to loose a child. I am also aware that there needs to be more research when it comes to pregnancy complecations. What causes them and what can we do to prevent them. I have just receintly found out that the majority of women I know with these hemotomas are ones who had also had mc within a few months of conception. I was just passing off the info. I would never tell anyone what to do. If I may, I would like to put what I said a little differently, "if you want to concieve right after mc, it may be best to get an ultrasound done before ttc to make sure everything is okay.

when I had my mc, it was natural..and my doctor would not give me a follow up ultrasound. I had cramping and had an ultrasound in the 4th week of this pregnancy. The doctor found something besides the baby in my uterus but nothing further was said about it until my 16th week when the perri mentioned that the sch might have been caused by unexpelled material from the mc. As the baby got bigger, "the thing moved into my placenta."

Again, I'm so sorry. Losing my baby was the most difficult thing I've ever been through and it makes me really sad that I seemed insensitive. sorry, girls.

and just to add something else. When I did have my first big bleed with this pregnancy, my mil told me I should have waited longer to get pregnant. I remember being so offenend and hurt by this. I realize that by me writing what I did, I'm just as bad as she was. This was not my intention and I regret coming off that way.

[dee68]

now that you explained it in different words, I don't think it stings as much.
when I read your first post, I don't think I knew how to take it to tell you the truth...
I am 38 yrs old, my loss was my first pregnancy ( I found out a year ago this month) It took me so long to be in a wonderful place in my life & finally conceive, the loss was a devasting blow ( one that I still struggle with)....I have only now just started ttc again , and trust me, I wish I would have started again right away....my clock is ticking.
anyway, thank you for second post & your apology.

Dee

[aries2276]

I had a m/c last year.My doc said to wait 3 mos.All I wanted was to get pregnent right away.But I waited 4 cycles before trying again.And we are still trying.I'd listen to the doctor no matter how I feel but that's me.

[3littleladies]

Hello,

I think I can relate to you in a way, but in a different way. My first pregnancy was one that was healthy and resulted in my DD. A few years later I got pregnant again and I m/c because of a SCH. I started bleeding at 4.5 weeks and bled heavily until I lost the baby at 7 wks even after we saw the heartbeat. So I can tell you that unfortunately there will never be a solid known reason that anyone gets SCH. I didn't get it because I didn't wait after a m/c. I got it before I ever had a m/c. I will never know why I got it. I do agree with you, with my own personal beliefs, that the doctor knows best and it is good to listen to them, but I do understand how hard it must be to not have as much time as other women and have the need to start ttc right away. Every woman has a unique situation and there is not one answer to make it turn out better. I hope that no matter what the situation everyone gets their BFP!