Why is today so hard?

MelissaT1973 · #1 August 20th, 2007, 06:00 AM

Well, I haven't made it into the office yet. Still in bed with my computer. I had my D & C on Saturday morning and felt better than I expected both physically and mentally over the weekend. But now it's Monday and the thought of going back to the usual Monday routine doesn't seem right. Every work day morning started with turning on my office computer and pulling up the March due date club and checking in....

I don't want to see the office staff or talk about how my ultra sound went on Friday.....now I just want to cry and stay in bed. My husband and I are in business together so it's not like I HAVE to go today. School starts tomorrow and our 10 year old still needs supplies, hair cut, so I am going to have to venture out regardless.

That's my woes for now....you will probably see me a lot on this board. I am darn determined to have another baby!!!!

Melissa

MrsRodgers · #2 August 20th, 2007, 01:44 PM

I'm so sorry. I remember that feeling. I had my D&C on a Monday and the doctor took me out of work all week so that I could heal emotionally. It took me until Thursday to leave the house and even then I was in pajamas (no lie) and just went to the store for something to eat. Its hard to get back to your "regular" life after something like that but its natural to want to hide at home too. Just give yourself a little more time and hopefully no one will ask about what happened. Good luck! Stay strong.

MelissaT1973 · #3 August 20th, 2007, 02:45 PM

Thank you. I did make it to the office and managed through ok. It's crazy, my mind vasilates from sadness for what I thought I had going to obsessing already about getting pregnant again! I feel a little guilty for even thinking about trying again so soon.....

Thanks again!!!

*Bobbie* · #4 August 20th, 2007, 03:00 PM

Melissa,

Sorry to hear today was a rough one

What you are feeling is 100% normal. I had those same exact feelings for about three months. I still have them every now and then. Just give yourself permission to do what you need to do. If that means staying in Pj's all day and watching movies or reading a book...do it when you can. It will help you in the long run to grieve now what the loss feels so intense. The hard days will get farther and farther apart....eventually you will think of your angel and smile....knowing you carried a miracle even if it was for too short of a time. I really do feel we were given angels.

It isn't wrong to want to be pregnant again so soon. And the next pregnancy will not replace the first....so wish, hope, dream, and pray all you want. I hope you get your BFP soon and don't have to wait as long as some of us have had to.

Lots of love....
Bobbie