[matl]

and I don't know why. I guess it is alot of little things. My weight, the stress of TTC, work.

We have tried the hardest this month and if I am not pg this month, I don't know how I am going to take it. Yes, we missed a day of bd'g because I was just exhausted and it is no fun to say.... "just do it" even though that is what I want to say. KWIM??? That is how we missed a day. Geez, you would think he would get the idea...... we are on a mission.

For me it doesn't have to be romantic, and rose petals and yada yada..... These days, I just want it to be over. The time will come when it is romantic again.

I am so exhausted. I can't even begin to tell how exhausted I am. Then when I do say it, people think I am complaining. Best to keep quiet.... so then people ask, "Why are you so quiet? "

I can't win these days. I just can't. We are going away for a few days and wouldn't you know it, either AF will show or I will be pg. It always happens that way when we go away. 2 times we found out we were expecting..... the rest were AF's.

Around here if it is a holiday .... AF shows.

I hate this trying crap. I feel like a failure every month I am not pg. Mind you, it has only been two months that we are trying after the mc. I feel this axe over my head..... 4 more months to go before we get to the adult stuff... (clomid, IVF ????)

I am not bitter, I am just tired... I POAS early, knowing it will be a BFN, but I do it anyway. I don't know why. Guess, I am getting desperate. I have my basal temp thermometer and will have to start charting if AF shows.

I know I am supposed to take it one day at a time, but this is hard.

Thanks for reading. I know today I am not a barrel of laughs.

[Sabina]

Hun I am so sorry you are feeling so down. It is VERY stressful TTC and I feel your pain. I would suggest charting next month. You know, if you chart for bit and figure out your cycles you may not have to BD as much. I know it can be stressful on couples having to BD all the time and on demand. As for keeping quiet, I hope you won't keep quiet on here. This was made for you to express how you feel and I can tell you that there are lots of us that have felt like you do right now at one point or another. When is your holiday? Is there anyway you can move it so that you won't be on a/f when it comes? It would be nice for your DH and you to have a nice holiday with regular BDing!

[*Bobbie*]

Oh hon.... lots of


I know how you feel. I hope this is your month. What CD are you on? Keep us posted.... and no matter what we are here for you. We all know just how bad it feels to be faced with the dissapointment of AF.

I will send the girls out...here is your very own BFP cheer squad!

Gimme a B

Gimme a F

Gimme a P

We are due for a BFP on this board! I am keeping my fingers crossed that it's you

[matl]

You gals are the very best!!! Brightened my midnight internet surf time. I am feeling a whole lot better. Hugs to all of you!!!!!!

On CD23 . I am thrilled about this because my last cycle was only 21 days. That would have meant that the second AF waved good bye..... I O'd. Doc thinks I probably did not O at all or if I did, the luteal phase was very short. Whatever the case.... last month was a BFN.

As long as AF is not knocking, there is a chance. If I am on a 26 day cycle I am covered. If on a 28 day cycle, I am covered. Up to a 30 day cycle... I am covered. I haven't seen a 30 day cycle in at least a year. I used to get it the same day every month.... like clock work. After the mc my body has gone to pot.

I was going to go to work early tomorrow, DH says that it wouldn't matter with all the work I have. True, true, I don't want to stress myself out. I did that today and almost fell on my face at work because I did not see a few boxes stacked to my side.

Ironic how before the mc I trusted my body, I knew my body and I knew when my body would do certain things. After the mc, I have lost that connection. I have to recapture that connection. I have to trust myself more.

Can't wait for tomorrow evening... we will take the road trip to Montreal!!! My first time there. I am excited! Haven't packed yet, don't know what I am going to wear..... but...... I'm going!

I will still be around...signing in, hoping for a BFP for all of you!

Signing off for now.... the newest POAS-aholic. LOL....

[Sabina]

Oh Montreal! You will be very close to me...hee hee. Think of me while you are POAS in Montreal and have a really, really, really fun time because you deserve the break.

[tparum]

good luck and the moods that goes along w/ttc suck im sry ur going threw this