I think I have officially decided

HangingInThere · #1 August 28th, 2007, 02:57 PM

I have been thinking about it since the day we found out the baby passed and I just wasn't sure at first. Everything with this pg was so unexpected, finding out we were pg, finding out the baby was gone. I just want to be pg again and I know as much as we all wish after a m/c to have back the baby we had, it's not going to happen. So I must face the reality that the only way to have a babe in my arms is to try to get pg. I was really on the fence about having a third before we found out we were pg and was leaning towards a NO, but after being pg and expecting to have that third in our lives I just can't get the idea out of my mind. Aside from that I'm hoping it will help out our sex lifes. That maybe if I have something I'm striving for I'll want it more. Dh just gets so frustrated when I don't want to DTD like every other day. At least this way maybe I'll have a reason for wanting/needing to, LOL.

I still think of our baby often and wish so much he hadn't left us and have tried to weigh the pros and cons of pg. I don't want it seem as though I have no feelings for the baby we lost and that I'm trying to replace him because that is not at all the case. However, I find it funny that I was weighing these same pros and cons when I found out I was unexpectedly pg. I didn't want this baby to ever feel like it was an OOOPS and that it wasn't wanted or loved as much as my other children. It's hard thinking that I had just adjusted my own mind to accepting that fact when we found out the baby was gone. A baby I had just learned to accept and love was gone before it truely knew the sanctity of my love.

All that aside, I still want a baby. I went into this pg with the finish line in sight. I had c-sect with both my other kids and would have been scheduled the same with this one. I had already made up my mind that I would have my tubes tied at the same time. Now I ended race early, with that finish line only seeming steps away. I was raised that once you fall off the horse you get back on. So that's what I intend to do. Get back on and ride until I find that finish line. I want to finish out a pg, knowing it will be my last and that after it is all said and done there is no chance of an OOOPs or otherwise. That was what had pulled me to accept this pg to begin with was knowing that even if I wasn't prepared for it, I had better enjoy it, because it would be my last. Now I have that opportunity again and I want to take it, and looking at the flip side of the coin if I should not get pg again, I am prepared to accept that it wasn't meant to be.

Sabina · #2 August 28th, 2007, 04:32 PM

Wow it sounds like you have put a lot of thought in this. I hope you and DH have fun trying!

tparum · #3 August 28th, 2007, 04:45 PM

Good luck on ur TTC journey. I hope u get ur bfp soon and ur stay is short and sweet.

MelissaT1973 · #4 August 28th, 2007, 05:34 PM

I am so glad you have come to a decision (either way) I can't wait to see a message that you have a BFP!!!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

HangingInThere · #5 August 28th, 2007, 06:01 PM

Thanks everyone! Now I'm just waiting for AF to show. It's funny to be anxious for something that we usually wish would never come around. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Sabina,
I but a lot of thought into everything I do. Sometimes it's a curse cause I think too much.

Mum2three · #6 August 28th, 2007, 06:51 PM

im glad to hear that u are going to try again! i wish u all the best of luck!

*Bobbie* · #7 August 29th, 2007, 07:11 AM

For TTC again.

I also wanted to give you lots of

cause it sounds like you have had a really rough couple months. I hope you get your BFP very soon. Right now I will tell the witch to come to your house next cause her visit was unwelcome here

She's all yours!!!!

HangingInThere · #8 August 29th, 2007, 08:11 AM

Quote:

For TTC again.

I also wanted to give you lots of

cause it sounds like you have had a really rough couple months. I hope you get your BFP very soon. Right now I will tell the witch to come to your house next cause her visit was unwelcome here

She's all yours!!!!

[/b]

Actually I do but I don't want her to come. If I can actually consider the bleeding I had last week as my period and I O this cycle I would love to get pg now. But chances are this cycle is going to be all out of whack because of the m/c but who knows maybe I will get lucky. Although the only thing that scares me is to think that it may not be safe to get pg again quite so soon. Oh well though, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and will happen when it is supposed to happen, right? The only thing is that if she does rear her ugly head when I think she might and as FF predicts then this next cycle will be a bust because if I should conceive I would be due on or around my ds' birthday and I don't want that. So I guess I will just have to be patient and play out this waiting game. Kind of sucks but what can you do?!

B)

*Bobbie* · #9 August 29th, 2007, 08:19 AM

Ohhh I thought you were waiting for AF. Sorry....LOL

I agree what's meant to happen will. When was your m/c? Are your levels back to zero yet?

I hope you get your BFP soon

HangingInThere · #10 August 29th, 2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Ohhh I thought you were waiting for AF. Sorry....LOL

I agree what's meant to happen will. When was your m/c? Are your levels back to zero yet?

I hope you get your BFP soon

[/b]

Sorry to confuse you, I am technically waiting for the witch but I'm wishful thinking that I can possibly O this month. My m/c was Aug 17 so almost 2wks ago. I know way too soon to be hoping for any kind of actual cycle, uh? So yes technically I would welcome the witch at my house. I have no idea what my levels are right now. I don't have my post D&C appt until next Tuesday, and I doubt they check my levels then. I don't remember them doing that last time I m/c. I just remember them checking my uterus to make sure it had returned to its norm. It will be interesting to see what they do. I know I could take an hpt test to see where my levels are but just can't fathum the idea of seeing positive and knowing there is no baby. What do the hcg levels have to do with anything anyway?

*Bobbie* · #11 August 29th, 2007, 04:30 PM

Well.... if your levels are still up and your body thinks it's still prgenant I don't think you can get pregnant again. Once your levels fall enough (under 5....I think) you will O or get AF.

I hope that makes sense? LOTS of women get preggo before the first AF. I will send lots and lots of baby

that you are one of the lucky ones