I feel like I am at a funeral...

ers0507 · #1 October 2nd, 2007, 08:17 PM

... just started bleeding. Got the blood test confirmation this afternoon but the bleeding just started right now. It is very depressing. How do you deal with this?

AND.. anyone have any ideas why when you m/c loved ones feel it might be helpful to tell you stories of others that "have it much worse." ??? My mom told me about a friend at work who had an awful experience lately and a friend who is a nurse told me about a patient she once had... it really isn't much of a pick me up. I guess people think I should feel "lucky" to have the pregnancy end earlier rather then later I guess? Not working

MrsPoe · #2 October 2nd, 2007, 08:23 PM

People are stupid!! That is all I can really say hun. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Try not to listen to others, they really never know what to say, but I know they "think" they are helping. You should hear some of the things I heard after my daughter was stillborn. I heard so many very stupid comments. Nobody knows unless they have been in your shoes!

*Bobbie* · #3 October 2nd, 2007, 08:25 PM

I am so sorry.

I think people just don't know what to say or do. I wish they would just say "I'm sorry...if you need anything I am here to listen."

So many people don't have a clue how bad the words "It's for the best" hurt. Like putting salt on an open wound. I am sorry you are having to hear stuff like that.

No matter how early or late it was when you lost your baby.... IT WAS YOUR baby.

I hope the bleedling isn't too heavy for you. Please be careful and monitor it closely. Take care of yourself. It's hard to remember to do that, but you have to try.

If you need anything....please say so. We are all here for you. Just know you are a mom to an angel now and he/she will always be with you

aries2276 · #4 October 3rd, 2007, 07:33 AM

I'm so sorry

..Jessica.. · #5 October 3rd, 2007, 08:40 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss!!!

My experience was pretty much like your's, except, the bleeding started for me BEFORE I had the 2nd set of blood drawn.

I think, people who give those "worse than you" stories, are just looking for attention for another person. This is YOUR time of need, and you shouldn't be thinking about anyone else right now!

Sorry if that came off as rude, but, clearly that bugs me!

I agree with Bobbie - when someone says "it wasn't meant to be" really ticks me off! It was meant that I got pregnant!

I hope you're feeling better soon hun!!

MinDB · #6 October 3rd, 2007, 11:19 AM

i'm so sorry for your loss. i know what you are going through. i think people say those things because maybe they think that's going to make you feel better. no one really knows what to say unless they've been through it themselves. many hugs to you. i just miscarried on monday. if you need to talk feel free to message me.

Mum2three · #7 October 3rd, 2007, 11:31 AM

im sorry..ppl are stupid sometimes. i wouldnt listen to them..think what u want to think..losing a baby is far worse then anything else i think...

Sabina · #8 October 3rd, 2007, 12:41 PM

I am so sorry and I am so sorry you have to deal with stupid people who have no brains.

ers0507 · #9 October 3rd, 2007, 02:51 PM

Thanks everyone for all your support... it is so helpful for me!!!!!!!

greenchild · #10 October 3rd, 2007, 03:08 PM

oh hun I am so sorry for your loss!!!!

People sure can say some stupid things. Sometimes I think they don't know what to say so they say the first thing that comes to their mind rather than just offering silent understanding.

matl · #11 October 3rd, 2007, 05:19 PM

I am so sorry that you have to deal with people without brains. I have had my share of those. Yes, the "It was for the best", "Was the baby planned?" lines are sometimes hurtful only because the people with no brains and cold hearts manage to be the most hurtful and act worst of all. I think that they don't know what to say and they WANT to say something.

We are here to support you. Lots of hugs to you and talk to us, we understand.

dee68 · #12 October 4th, 2007, 06:36 AM

Sometimes it is hard for me to wrap my head around the things that people say ...
they blurt out things when they should just be quiet.....a nice " if there is anything you need...." would suffice. But it doesn't always work that way unfortunately.

you think people after a loss are dumb? well let me share something with you ok ? On my FIRST prenatal appt., my dr. asked..." well is this a good thing or a bad thing"?.....nice huh??? So, hon, don't listen to it & when someone sticks their foot in their mouth, ( and if you can keep from telling them off) Just quietly think to yourself " what an *****"....it helps trust me

and you know you wont hear that stuff around here.....we're no bunch of dumbies!

Dee

ers0507 · #13 October 4th, 2007, 07:46 PM

OMG, that's what your doctor said? Nice. Real nice.

Thanks again for the support, everyone.

Quote:

Sometimes it is hard for me to wrap my head around the things that people say ...
they blurt out things when they should just be quiet.....a nice " if there is anything you need...." would suffice. But it doesn't always work that way unfortunately.

you think people after a loss are dumb? well let me share something with you ok ? On my FIRST prenatal appt., my dr. asked..." well is this a good thing or a bad thing"?.....nice huh??? So, hon, don't listen to it & when someone sticks their foot in their mouth, ( and if you can keep from telling them off) Just quietly think to yourself " what an *****"....it helps trust me

and you know you wont hear that stuff around here.....we're no bunch of dumbies!

Dee[/b]