[..Jessica..]

First, let me say this has nothing to do with Dwayne and I.

Here goes.. I'd like some completely honest opinions and/or advice.

Let me give some background info: My sister is 29 years old, she has been with her fiance for the past 5 years, they've had 2 miscarriages in those 5 years.

Now, here's the problem: I think she's cheating on him! I know, this is a horrible thing to think, but she's done it before. I've personally caught her before too. I was like 16, got into her email and read emails from this guy, I copied and pasted them ALL and sent them to her fiance. Who, didn't believe me, and told my sister I was trying to break them up. I could care less if they were/are together, but I think he deserved to know that she was emailing this guy back and forth. I won't disclose what was in the emails, but she was clearly cheating on him.

Maybe I'm just being nosey here, but, usually every night I see her writing down phone numbers. Right after she writes down these phone numbers, she will then go to her room and be on the phone for hours on end. With people, who I KNOW are not her fiance. (He works night shift, and doesn't wake up until 7pm, and doesn't call her until 8:30pm. This has been the ongoing thing for years now.)

I don't know what to do, I think she loves him, I think she wants to be with him. But, I know right now, he's annoyed at the fact that she got pregnant when she told him she takes her pill everyday. He's been distant ever since the miscarriage too. Something tells me he doesn't want to be with her though, things like, when his mother says things to my sister that are rude, he doesn't defend my sister. Also, he has no problem telling her what the guys at work say about her.

Help?

[*Bobbie*]

Jess....

That's hard. If it were me I would not say another word about it. Your sister is going to end up mad at you in the long run. You already tried to tell him once. If he refuses to listen...there isn't anything else you can do. Don't ruin your bond with your sister because of how she choose to act in a relationship.

That said....I hope no one is offended that I type what comes next... but it's my story.....

I cheated on my ex husband on and off the entire time I was with him. I would go a couple years in between affairs. He knew about it, but for some strange reason choose to look the other way. This was YEARS ago. I was 14 when I met him and 26 when we divorced. Now that I am older and have stepped back and took a long hard look at who I was back then and why, I have come to understand why I did what I did. I had low self esteem and was just looking for the wrong kind of attention. I had the *poor me* attitude. I realized after I left him that only I can make myself truely happy. I learned my lessons the hard way. I would never in a million years cheat on anyone ever again. I value myself more than that. I am better than that.

Your sister seem to be on the same path I was on. Maybe a heart to heart about what she is doing to herself and her relationship will do you both some good. At least it will be out in the open then and she will know how much it hurts you to see her walk all over her man like that.

I hope it helps a little to hear the *other side* of cheating. It's not something I am proud of, but what's done is done. I will appologize for what I did to my ex until the day I die. No one deserves to be walked on like that. I am lucky in that he forgave me years ago. We are now good friends and I thank God he forgave me for my mistakes and holds no bitterness towards me as we do our best to raise our kids as divorced parents.

Okay..... back to your normal silly programing........ Man that was a serious post.....

[*Judy*]

I would also stay out of it. Just because you don't tell him, does not mean that you agree with what she is doing, but she is your sister and always will be. I also agree with Bobbie and think you should talk to her but don't drag him in. If they are ment to be together they will be if not they will figure it out. It sounds likr they may be having trouble anyway...let the chips fall where they may. Just my opinion...hope it helps.