[dee68]

you all know, how thrilled I will be if I do get a "definate" BFP.....but today, I am starting to feel guilty about all of the excitement surrounding the possibility.....tomorrow is one year that I had the "actual" miscarriage ... we had found out earlier, and thats the date I put for my ticker...because to me, that's when Jr. was gone when we saw the last U/S.....
I know I sound crazy right now, maybe its my hormones?.... ......but I just can't help but feeling this way....

[..Jessica..]

Deeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any idea how bad I felt thinking I would have been due near the date I lost Quinn IF I was pregnant?? I felt like a pile of crap!

I know it's hard as those anniversarys approach, whether it be the day you found out you were pregnant, the first day of bleeding, the day the bleeding stopped. I think it's all apart of the healing process.

Think about it like this ... Junior sent you a ladybug on the 15th, and he's looking over you now, hoping that you'll finally get your little bean! He will be forever looking over you.

My grandmother would always say this: When I die and go to Heaven, I'll be looking down over you all, when you're crying, I'll be crying, when you're mad, I'll be mad, when you're smiling, I'll be smiling. No matter how bad you feel, I'll always be with you. *****WOWWWWWWW, I'm crying now, wonderful! ********

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad, we're all here for you. NO MATTER WHAT!!!

[dee68]

Jessica,

Thank you !! I know it's hard for all of us....and I wish the only thing we had to worry about were giving our kids b-day parties every year, not angelversaries.....I do know he is watching over me.. ..and I know all of you gals are here for support, & from the bottom of my heart I thank you.....

fyi....you made me cry too.....

[mellochick]

It's totally understandable. Angelversaries are rough but just remember that your angel wants to have an earth brother or sister and we are all pulling for you.

[*Judy*]

Dee,
Jr. wants you to be happy! Just remember that...he might not have been ready to be here, but he wants you to enjoy life and feel good about all the blessings that come your way. He is in heaven right now dancing with joy! As a matter of fact he probably was the one that picked the little bean in your tummy for you.

[*Bobbie*]

Dee... Jr. wouldn't care. He would be happy to know his momma is happy again

Just enjoy the possibility of another bean growing in there and cherish it. KWIM?

What will be will be....

[HangingInThere]

Dee,
Maybe it will help to think of it this way as this is how I handled it with my first pg after m/c. My first m/c was in March 04 and my EDD for Angelon was October. We were still trying and with the approaching DD I was hoping I had something postitive to pull me through, so I thought wouldn't it be a blessing if God still blessed us with a child this month, but instead of in my arms, in my womb; and guess what, He did! My son was born 9 H&H months later. So think of it this way, you may not have Jr with you here, but God has decided to make this month a memorable month for you, and add a positive note to it for you. Now when October rolls around you will not only remember Jr, but you will also remember it as the month you found out you were expecting your second blessing. And I think the lady bug was Jr's way of checking and saying, Mom I'm still here, and I brought you a friend. After all you said you saw the lady bug on the 15th right? Well that should have been close to the time you would have concieved, so maybe that was Jr delivering the soul of your new bean. Who knows, the Lord always works in mysterious ways!!

[dee68]

You girls can ALWAYS make me feel better!! Everything all of you have said is so true....Thank you all again