Dh being annoying...

ShannonMVT · #1 October 31st, 2007, 07:52 AM

So last night I hint around that I want to get busy and Dh tells me that he's tired. Well, I told him I had an almost positive OPK, so I'll probably O anywhere from now to two days from now. And he says he wants to do it Thursday because it would be better if he saved his sperm up. And that he thinks we should have sex the day I O because that's when I got pregnant last time. Well okay, expect no. I'm not even sure when I Oed the cycle I got pregnant. And he's all oh well we decided it was the later day and I told him the reason we decided that was because we thought that was why the baby was not growing as quickly but really, that ended up being because there was something wrong with the baby. I told him there is no way for me to magically know for sure which day I O and if we wait, we could miss it.

And WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN OVER THE WHOLE SAVING UP THE SPERM THING. I swear he does not get it and he thinks he'll have twice as much or something if he saves it up. I will not be able to convince him until I find something explaining IN DETAIL why that is not true.
Anyway, then he just tells me that he's not in the mood since we did it Saturday. Does he really think I care? I don't care if I'm in the mood either! It's not about being in the mood because if it was, we'd have sex maybe one time during my fertile period. It's stupid because we ended up doing it anyway and we both had a good time. So why does he have to be such a butt about the whole thing? He knows how TTC works and he agreed last time that he'd just suck it up and do it when we needed to do it. It's annoying to me because most guys would be happy that they were getting some more often!
He better cooperate on Thursday.

mellochick · #2 October 31st, 2007, 08:02 AM

Men can be sooo frustrating at times! I know my DH likes to take charge when it comes to BD'ing - because I take charge of basically everything else...LOL. When we are calling the shots in the bedroom sometimes they can't handle it. Thats when you have to figure out a non-obvious way to turn them on...delicate creatures those guys...

#3 October 31st, 2007, 08:20 AM

i agree with mellochick, do something subtle, less talk, more action!!! the more you talk about it the more he'll think about it and that's never good --when they're thinking....

hope this is the last month you'll have to worry about it!!!

ShannonMVT · #4 October 31st, 2007, 08:34 AM

Well I tried not saying anything about it and just going for it, haha. And that was when I got the "I'm tired." And I guess I didn't know what else to do other than tell him it was babymaking time...maybe that was a bad idea.

Part of my problem is that I start second guessing myself and thinking oh if he's really tired then maybe I shouldn't be trying to get him in bed. And then I change my mind and back and forth.

It sucks because I'm usually the one to initiate it even when we're not TTC. Dh claims he "just doesn't think about it" or else when he's turned on it's when it's a bad time or something. And yet he prefers everything to be totally spontaneous.

#5 October 31st, 2007, 09:44 AM

i dont think telling him it was babymaking time was a bad idea. maybe if you got to him earlier before he gets tired? or try the mornings. i have the opposite problem at my house....but i know if he catches me in the evening before i'm getting ready for bed, he has had greater success. he is a lucky man to have you initiating!!!

and the saving up the sperm thing, we have to find an article on it or something.

MEN!!!

dee68 · #6 October 31st, 2007, 11:02 AM

men can really drive us nuts.....
did you ever think of trying a different approach & NOT tell him when you are going to O?.....I did that a few times with Mick in the beginning when he was being a PIA, and just initiated it,without saying a word about making a baby....after that, it was cake from then on..I did all of my obsessing here & not in the bedroom.....lol.....I think if we take the "pressure" off of them & even ourselves, it is much easier. It just a thought hon.

ShannonMVT · #7 October 31st, 2007, 02:26 PM

Dee, I've thought about that too. He asks me periodically though, if I am fertile and when I will be fertile.
We're normally once a weekers, so when I start wanting to DTD more than that, it gets pretty obvious!

He thinks we should just time it so that for that week, we do it the day that I ovulate. Unfortunately it is not that simple.

When we talked about it awhile back he agreed that every other day when I'm close to ovulating was okay.

Maybe I'll try to come up with something extra special for tomorrow.

*Judy* · #8 October 31st, 2007, 04:57 PM

Men! Humph! They are not always the easiest to get along with!

Shaustin · #9 October 31st, 2007, 07:56 PM

I'm sorry, what a pain, huh?!? All this pregnancy stuff was supposed to be easy...and its NOT!! I hope that your DH pulls it together, but I agree with the other ladies, the less stress the better. Ya know, my hubby was in the habit of asking if I was fertile too, so now I always just tell him "I don't know, I haven't been paying attention." When in all reality, I totally know, and I just get a little frisky and tell him, "sorry baby, I was just thinking about you all day, and now its time to get to business!!" And jump his bones!! HA. Play dumb, then when you get frisky with him, he won't think you are doing it because you are fertile!!

KaidysMummy · #10 November 1st, 2007, 06:17 AM

i dont usually post but lurk around but i had to reply to this one as i thought DF was the only other bloke that didnt really care about DTD!! im always the one who starts things off and i usually get told tomorrow night as im tired! i then have to do what you done and tell him then his answer is well there is always tomorrow a day aint gonna make a difference......and u just wanna scream yes it does! even when its not fertile time i have to start things its not that im sex mad i just enjoy the closeness of it, but these days im just giving up on even trying when its not fertile time. that window opened two weeks ago for us and we've not done it since, hes not even mentioned anything about it, not that im gagging for it, lol, just would be nice for him to say oh come on lets do it!

men eh, u always think of them being up for it and i wish i had 1 of those sex mad blokes as it would be perfect around O time and i wouldnt feel so stupid basically throwing mysel at him to be told 'not to tonight, to tired!'

hope things better better at ur end and good luck!
xx

ShannonMVT · #11 November 1st, 2007, 02:14 PM

Quote:

i dont usually post but lurk around but i had to reply to this one as i thought DF was the only other bloke that didnt really care about DTD!! im always the one who starts things off and i usually get told tomorrow night as im tired! i then have to do what you done and tell him then his answer is well there is always tomorrow a day aint gonna make a difference......and u just wanna scream yes it does! even when its not fertile time i have to start things its not that im sex mad i just enjoy the closeness of it, but these days im just giving up on even trying when its not fertile time. that window opened two weeks ago for us and we've not done it since, hes not even mentioned anything about it, not that im gagging for it, lol, just would be nice for him to say oh come on lets do it!

men eh, u always think of them being up for it and i wish i had 1 of those sex mad blokes as it would be perfect around O time and i wouldnt feel so stupid basically throwing mysel at him to be told 'not to tonight, to tired!'

hope things better better at ur end and good luck!
xx[/b]

Aw, you should come out of lurkdom more! I know exactly what you mean, of course I like sex for the physical aspect but for me, a lot of it is about closeness. But Dh has told me that for him it's pretty much all physical.

KaidysMummy · #12 November 1st, 2007, 02:16 PM

lol, what a nice thing 2 say! men for ya tho, lol!! i always have a look but never really know what to say! lol. good luck in getting DH to bd! xx

*Bobbie* · #13 November 1st, 2007, 08:30 PM

I think you should post more too!!!!

And Shannon.... your chart looks REALLY good so far. I bet you get crosshairs for CD14.

See what tomorrow temps does and then hopefully you can relax about BD again.

Have you considered IUI? Sounds like it would be a great compromise if you could get your Dr. and DH to try it. I know I am thinking about talking to my DR. about it. For us once a week is *normal* ... with TTC it can get VERY stressful with lots of hurt feelings when you have to pick up the pace.

Anyways..... lots of

to you girl!