Sorry for this rant.

Frangipani · #1 November 3rd, 2007, 08:42 PM

I just have to rant for a second. Tonight my DH came in and sat down at the table while I was studying (I'm a grad student). We were just talking and I mentioned that AF had come & I was a little bit bummed about that. He then said that he'd been thinking and that he thought that was a good thing and that maybe it was better if we waited until...get this...2009. Not next year but the year AFTER that! WHAT!? I understand his reasoning (school will be A LOT less hectic for me & less difficult as it is the final & easiest year) but I'm also 34 now which means that if we wait until 2009, I'll be 36 and I really don't want to wait that long. ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!

I just told him I'd think about it and we could talk more after this big exam I have (which I wonder if that is what is causing him to talk like this-I've been studying like crazy the last few days).

Anyway, I just wanted to rant. Sorry!

#2 November 3rd, 2007, 08:51 PM

Sorry hun! Guys are weird sometimes. That's a long time to wait. Try and get him around babies so he'll catch a baby fever

Hope he changes his mind and you can get a BFP soon!

Danica · #3 November 3rd, 2007, 08:52 PM

Oh how frustrating. I guess my response to him would be that the time is NEVER right. If we would have waited to TTC Naden until every thing was right and perfect he wouldn't be here. It is never right and perfect. There is always something that needs fixing or focus, etc. I admit that I think it will be hard for you to take care of a baby and be a grad student but if you focus and have determination you will get through it. Maybe you could explain this to DH. I hope he changes his mind. Also maybe take a few months of not not trying. KWIM? Maybe if he doesn't know when you O and when AF is due he will be less worried about it. I mean, you can of course continue to actively try but if he doesn't hear about it and is having more fun than pressure he may just go with the flow (not to sound like you are pressuring but I know that I stopped talking to Travis about my ovulation and he seems more laid back about TTC)... But definately talk to him when you get a break. He may just need re-assuring. (((HUGS)))

Frangipani · #4 November 3rd, 2007, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Oh how frustrating. I guess my response to him would be that the time is NEVER right. If we would have waited to TTC Naden until every thing was right and perfect he wouldn't be here. It is never right and perfect. There is always something that needs fixing or focus, etc. I admit that I think it will be hard for you to take care of a baby and be a grad student but if you focus and have determination you will get through it. Maybe you could explain this to DH. I hope he changes his mind. Also maybe take a few months of not not trying. KWIM? Maybe if he doesn't know when you O and when AF is due he will be less worried about it. I mean, you can of course continue to actively try but if he doesn't hear about it and is having more fun than pressure he may just go with the flow (not to sound like you are pressuring but I know that I stopped talking to Travis about my ovulation and he seems more laid back about TTC)... But definately talk to him when you get a break. He may just need re-assuring. (((HUGS)))[/b]

that's true. maybe not really knowing so much about the process will make him more interested. I think he's kind of freaking out too because before we thought we were going to have more support with this but now it looks like my mom's not really going to help us out (not financially but more with just actual helping with a baby).

The really weird thing is that he has always been super baby crazy. I mean like since we first started dating. In the past couple of years he's really put the pressure on. I've always been the one to reign that in and say no, we should wait...money, school, etc. Now I'm on board and he's suddenly getting cold feet.

It's so frustrating!

Danica · #5 November 3rd, 2007, 09:10 PM

He sounds like Travis was. When we were married (I was 19) he wanted babies. Not right away but always spoke about a family. I was like, heck no (actually I never wanted kids when I was younger). Then when I turned 24 I decided that I was ready and then he wasn't! Finally when I was 25 and a half he agreed that he was ready and then when I was 26 we became pregnant. What a process....

Yeah, I would just try not over-divulging female reproductive system detail with him and just let him have fun

(((HUGS)))

greenchild · #6 November 4th, 2007, 04:54 AM

when DH & I started dating he told me he never wanted kids. I figured he'd change his mind later on, and I told him I wanted kids before I was 30, and I was willing to wait awhile. We got married when I was 20 so I thought we had plenty of time. And most of that time he still didn't want kids. It took until I was 28 before he said ok. And now I'm 31 and we still don't have kids, but not for lack of trying. And now that we have to go the IVF route, age becomes a huge factor.

I think your DH might just need a break - I agree, just don't tell him the details, that could be what he really needs a break from. My DH got so bogged down in the details he didn't want to try for awhile too. If he's baby-crazy (most of the time) I really don't think he'll be upset if it happens before 2009! Good luck!!

Frangipani · #7 November 5th, 2007, 04:26 PM

Yeah you guys are probably right. I'm just going to not say anything else about it for a while. Tonight though, we were watching TV and there was a story about why breastfeeding was good for your baby. DH nudged me and points at the TV. I couldn't help but get kind of mad. I mean why are you nudging me to watch programs about this if you don't want a baby now? ARGH!

Anyway, I've been thinking about running this half marathon in February & have not been training because you can't do hardcore runs you know with in the TWW. Now maybe I'll just take some time off of TTC and do the race, then sort of test the waters again. We'll see...