I went to the Doctor this morning. As you may remember, I went in a couple times after the m/c to check my blood pressure and hemoglobin levels b/c I lost a lot of blood throughout the day and then finally I had the D&C and lost even more blood. My BP was at 80/50 the last couple times and I always thought I was going to faint. But I went today and it was 90 something/60!!! I feel totally back to normal. It was a very quick appt. b/c I was supposed to be there yesterday (I thought it was today, whoops!) and she squeezed me in. So, she said ok, everything looks good, my hcg levels are 0 finally, and I won't be seeing you all the time anymore. Do you have any questions? And I said, so we're ok to start trying? And she said you're healthy and it's up to you.

I was told by her and other doctors that it's best to wait a couple cycles before trying. I don't want to wait a couple cycles. I also don't want to go through a m/c ever ever ever again. Zack is all about trying again. I don't know what to do. I don't feel prepared enough yet. I just wish I knew why I had a m/c so I could prevent it from happening again. I feel like I should be eating all organic and taking my vitamins now and I don't know what else to do.

So these are other things going on in our life:
We are almost done remodeling our kitchen but there are still a lot of things to be done (trim, painting, backsplash, drawer pulls, etc etc etc)

We are hosting Thanksgiving which is good and bad (it's making us finish the kitchen faster, yay!)

We are not married and I really want to be married before being pregnant again

Zack hasn't been sleeping well lately and his job is really stressing him out which stresses me out!

and the one thing that really gets me:
Zack has a friend, Grant, that had a lease on an apartment that was up in July and he had to go somewhere for 2 weeks. Zack being the nice guy that he is, said Grant could store his stuff in our extra bedroom and they'll deal with it when he got back. Grant has been going back and forth between our house and his parents since July and basically sleeps on our couch for weeks at a time. It's really wearing on Zack now b/c his parents, his friends, and I all say the same thing - TELL HIM TO LEAVE! It's caused so many fights between us and the one that hurts the most - He says to me - you don't get to have a say in it because you don't pay rent, its my house, blah blah (Ok money is definitely not an issue we have and I'd be willing to give him money every month but he doesnt need it and he wants me to pay off my student loan.)

I know I shouldn't but I am tempted to say something to Grant and explain that this is wearing on Zack and I and causing fights. Grant has not paid a dime in rent, has not helped with anything while we are remodeling. He even was there when I came home from having the D&C. I just wanted to be by myself in my house and cry. This is making me furious typing this all out. I have to stop. I was at the point the other day where I was going to move out.

Just needed to vent. SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST. If these are the biggest problems in my life then I'm a lucky girl, I know. Just in a b***chy kinda mood. Maybe AF is on its way.

[LisaB]

Hi hun, I am SO sorry to hear about your loss and D&C. That situation sounds really scary. Of course the decision to TTC is a very personal one, so no one can answer that for you. However the tone of your post makes me wonder if you feel ready yet? Sounds like there is a lot going on in your life (and having gone through a very similar remodel process, I remember how totally stressful it was! There were also a lot of paint fumes and construction dust which you shouldn't be exposed to if pg). The fact that you're asking us makes me think you're not quite there yet. But again, totally a personal decision, not trying to say you're not ready yet! Only you know that. Whenever you are ready I'll be sending you good thoughts.

I don't think I'm ready yet either. I feel like if I just had a month to get stuff done I'd be waaay less stressed. Thanks for reading my giant post!

[..Jessica..]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this at the same time!



What I suggest is maybe put off TTC for right now, you two seem to have quite a lot going on at home and maybe it's not the best time for you two - emotionally?? I'm sorry if I come off as rude with saying that!!!! I really don't mean to! I think Zack has to say something to Grant in order to get something serious done about him basically living there for free. If you say something to him, it could easily turn against you and could possibly cause more problems between you and Zack.

I hope things are able to smooth out between the two of you soon, so you can enjoy Thanksgiving in your new kitchen WITHOUT your house guest so you can get to trying for your little Miracle!

Thanks Jessica. I think you are right and I agree with everything you said. Zack is reaching his breaking point with Grant so once that's over I'll start enjoying my house and the holiday season. And after that we'll start TTC. But I'm staying on this board so get used to me! Thanks girls

[*Bobbie*]

Erika.... we wouldn't let you go if you tried.... (Dee you locked the deadbolt right?)

I agree I wouldn't say anything to him, let Zack do it. The is nothing worse than being the one in the middle of somthing like that. Dave and I have the same situation with the house and bills. He pays for it all... and it's in his name. I pay for my truck, my medical bills, and my personal loan for credit card debt. Luckily he never throws it back at me. We also are not married. But that is my choice. I just don't want to be married again yet. Maybe if I get PG and stay that way I will give in.

Anyways... about TTC again.... only you will know when you are ready, and even though it seems like everyone on this board just jumps right back to it, that isn't always the case. I think A LOT of women wait a while some even wait a year or so. You will know when the time is right for you. Maybe after the holiday choas Do what's best for you girl!