[3littleladies]

Hello all,

I have been so sad and angry since my miscarriage about 3 1/2 weeks ago. This was my second miscarriage and they were 2 years apart. I am so upset and worried about ever trying again. I try to think that it was meant to be because the baby wasn't healthy, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I just don't know where to go with my feelings. I want another baby so badly but the fear of miscarrying for a third time has a horrible grip on me. I wonder if there is something wrong with me....... This time the baby didn't grow, last time I had a subchorionic hematoma and 2 days after we saw the heartbeat I lost the baby. I know it hasn't been long after my miscarriage, but I just want my bitter feelings to go away. I feel like I am never gonna get over it. It took me 2 years to be ready after the first one. Is it normal to feel like this? Sorry for the vent, thanks for listening.

[HangingInThere]

I don't think I can say yes this is normal or no it's not because we all grieve differently and on our own terms. However I can say one thing and that is I have heard it said that you will know when you are ready to have another and that is when your want for another baby is bigger than the fear of losing another. We all run the same risk of losing another child, it all just depends on you, and when your ready to take the leap of Faith. We are all here for you to vent and talk to as we have all been there. It is scarey, you will feel anger, but it will get better. I hope that helps!

[..Jessica..]

You know, I don't think we truly ever get over losing a baby. Every Thursday, I look at the calendar and say "I'd be XX weeks today if I didn't lose Quinn." I often blame myself for it as well. But, like you said, it was meant to be. I will never really understand why anyone has a m/c, because it puts us through so much pain and heartache.

When you're ready to TTC, you'll know. There isn't a timeline, or deadline for you. You'll know when it's time and when you're 100% ready to begin.

Good luck hun!!! I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now!!!

[MinDB]

i think nothing and everything is normal regarding miscarriages. it's terrible to go through. this is a great board for support. i'm sorry for your losses.

[*Bobbie*]

I agree with the others. Nothing is *normal*.... and only you will know when the times is right to TTC.

Give yourself some time....and permission to cry, scream, lay in bed all day, shop.... whatever it takes for you to deal with your grief. We have all felt the same heartache, but there aren't two of us who healed the same. Some women go on to adopt, some go on the have babies and some say enough is enough and just give up. The is no right answer, just different ones. No matter what you need though...we will be here for you.

[Danica]

(((HUGS))) I wish there was something else I could say. I know it is very tough to go through a loss and I am sure that having to go through 2 just makes it even more scary to think of TTC'ing again. I hope that your heart guides you in the right direction. (((HUGS)))

I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do. There's really nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain or fear, just give yourself time. It's hard to think like that, but taking it one day at a time is the only way you won't feel overwhelmed. I think everything happens for a reason even though it doesn't seem fair. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Grieve, scream, cry, vent to us any time. That's what we're all here for.

[3littleladies]

Thank you all so much for the support. It is nice to know I have somewhere to go to vent my feelings and not feel like I am a complete basket case. I have had a few nights to think about my feelings and they are still confusing to me but I am having an easier time saying to myself that it is ok to feel this way and there is no time limit to my feelings. Maybe part of my anger is the fact that this year has been the best and worst of my life....... Got married in January, Husband was training for Ironman Lake Placid, Husband got hit by a truck on his bicycle while he was training and broke 1/3 of his vertebre, his clavicle, and multiple other things, and almost died in April, had 6 months until he could get out of his body brace and neck brace and function at a semi-normal level although we were blessed that he did live and there was no brain damage, then the 2nd miscarriage......... It has been quite the year. I am ready for a blissful year of marriage without any devastating events.