[LisaB]

Hi ladies... I am really sorry to post a downer post, I always try not to post these. But we're in cycle for IVF, and I'm feeling like it won't happen for us. I don't know why. For all 4 of our IUIs, I felt positive and like "this was it!" But of course we miscarried, or didn't conceive.

Now we're doing IVF, but in the back of my mind I feel like I know it won't work. I'm really doing everything to stay positive and do everything right - I mean everything! - I'm seeing an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, a reproductive immunologist, a reproductive endocrinologist, and my doctors at the IVF clinic. I cut out alcohol and caffeine and so did my husband. I take 3 big handfuls of vitamins a day and eat lots of fruits and veggies. Somewhere I read you're not supposed to do anything that will stress you out, not even watch a scary movie, and that laughter is good for de-stressing, so I cut out scary movies and only watch comedies.

So I'm being totally paranoid, right? I mean, obviously I'm paranoid... But why am I feeling this way do you think? I really want to think positive because I know how important it is!

[*Judy*]

I think we all get to the point where we are afraid to hope. I can not even imagine what you have been through. I don't want to give you any trivial advise or try to tell you it will all work out...just know that what helps me through is to remember "Always blessings, never losses". I hope this helps!

[*Bobbie*]

Oh hon... I am sorry this is so stressful for you. I don't know too much about IVF but the basics.... so tell me to shut up if ya want to...LOL

I would think it's hard to really relax during IVF. There is just sooo much to it. It's not like just jumping your man and nine months later you have a baby.

The good thing is you don't have to worry about all the unknown with traditional TTC. I worry if I O... if the sperm swim (or need flippers and goggles)... If they are persistant enough to overtake that egg....

Somedays I just want to give up and go straight to IVF. If I wasn't soooo afraid of needles, and had the money for it, I probably would.

I would try and think of the positive of IVF.... you will have bypassed a lot of the unknown and at that point. You just need that bean to stick. So when is it scheduled for? We will load you up with sticky dust!

again!

[..Jessica..]

Hi Lisa!!!!

I'm thinking along the same lines that Judy and Bobbie are. Maybe you're feeling a little low because you're so scared that you'll have a loss? I'm sorry you've had losses, by the way!!!!

I hope IVF goes well and is 100% successful for you and your husband!!!

Sending LOTS of sticky dust your way!!!

[keekopeeko]

Are you posting on the other board... TTC with medical help at all?? im sure all those ladies will be able to offer even more learned advice.. Im sure you know Astrid..if you Dont go to the MayDDC... she is there with Triplets on the way through IVF!!! she's really nice and im sure could offer you lots of emotional support...

Im really sorry you have to go through all this... wishing you luck and let us know when to send sticky dust!

~Em

[tparum]

hey i thank we all get like this case were just to scared to get our hopes up and then crushed. please let us know when it is set.

[LisaB]

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your support! It really helps to hear your perspective & I am catching all your dust.

Hi Em, thanks, I do post on TTCMA most of the time actually. But lately it seems like everyone there is pregnant and I feel kind of left out. I know it's silly and of course I'm so incredibly happy for everyone, but that's where it all started - the feeling that it won't happen for me. Sometimes it helps to talk to people who have also experienced losses. Judy I will always think of them as blessings from now on.

The retrieval is tentatively scheduled for 11/26. I just started my stims today, though I've been taking the lupron for a while now. IVF here we come!

[greenchild]

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your support! It really helps to hear your perspective & I am catching all your dust.

Hi Em, thanks, I do post on TTCMA most of the time actually. But lately it seems like everyone there is pregnant and I feel kind of left out. I know it's silly and of course I'm so incredibly happy for everyone, but that's where it all started - the feeling that it won't happen for me. Sometimes it helps to talk to people who have also experienced losses. Judy I will always think of them as blessings from now on.

The retrieval is tentatively scheduled for 11/26. I just started my stims today, though I've been taking the lupron for a while now. IVF here we come![/b]

I SO hear you!!!!! It's like one by one, we're left behind. I'm happy for them too, but I feel like life is in fast foward for everyone but me, and they're all just whizzing by.
I tried to relax and be positive, go with the flow, let things happen, do everything all natural/organic/healthy lifestyle, and "all in God's hands" . . . all of it and where did it get me? 1st pg, I knew something was wrong, and the dr's didn't believe me. 2nd pg, I thought everything was A-OK but the dr's didn't, and they were right. This whole TTC experience has been so unbelieveably frustrating, i can't even trust my gut instincts anymore.

I am so worried this IVF cycle won't work. Right now, it's mainly the money issue. If this one doesn't work, it will be a good year or more before we can even think of trying IVF again. And if my egg quality really is bad, we don't have the time to wait, but we don't have the $$ to move forward either. I don't even know how much the FET will cost if we get any frozen embies out of this. At this point I don't even want to know. To get me thru this, I'm totally taking GP70's advice, just focus on one goal at a time. My last goal was starting the Menopur (last night). My next goal is the u/s & bloodwork Sunday.

You can PM me anytime you feel frustrated with this if you want, I guarantee you I'm right there with you!