[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

All this talk about the BFP's is starting to get me down. DONT get me wrong I love hearing about all of them but I just cant help but wonder whats wrong with my body. I am hoping that the doctor will be able to give me answers next month. I just keep listening to this song by David Guetta, Just a little more love and its making me want to cry. I dont want anyone thinking that they have to think twice about posting about their baby news because thats not what I'm saying but I have to admit that I wish I was one of them. I am fighting back tears so bad right now just thinking about how long its taking us to get pg and I dont think the drink is helping any either lol. I cant stop thinking about Samantha right now. I wish will all I have that she was here right now. I dont even care that she would grow up with problems. I know thats kind of bad to say but I just wish I had her right now.
Sorry for the vent. I just needed someone to talk to. DH isnt here and is gone for a few days but I sometimes feel like I cant even talk to him about it because he thinks that I'm thinking to much about it. I know its different for him for the fact that he didnt carry Samantha I just wish he would be more supportive and all. Ok I'm done now. Sorry again for the vent.

[*Bobbie*]

Angela....


I totally understand It has been around six YEARS now that we have been TTC and I still don't have a baby. It just sucks how it is so easy for some people and impossible for others.

I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. and vent and cry all you want. You will always have a shoulder available here on this board.

We are all in this together and will all stick with this board until we are all in DDC's..... no one left behind

Love ya girl

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

Thank you. I am now . It just hurts to think about all the things I think could be wrong with me. I know that I shouldnt think that way but I cant help it. It only took 3 months to get pg with samantha and 1 month to get pg with the second. I always have a problem about thinking the worst of something and I know I'm doing that now with the app. coming up. But thank you again for reminding me that I have people that care and will let me cry and help me feel better. <3

[Danica]

(((HUGS))) I am sorry you are feeling down. I know that when I had tried for 6 months for Naden the stress kept building up each month. I can only imagine how you are feeling. I hope that your meeting with the doctor next month goes well and they can give you answers. Don't feel like you have to hold back. I think it is natural for us all to be on a high right now with all the BFP's but is it also only natural to question why not me. I think that all the ladies (with or without BFP's) understand what you are saying. I am crossing my fingers that you get a BFP soon!!!!!

[tracybeers]

i know its hard to hear all of the bfp's when all you want is one, but your doctors appt is a big step towards that. i finally got done with hopefully all of the testing and they found what i hope to be all that is wrong, and i feel good about ttc. after my 2 loss, it was hard to be excited about being pregnant again and then i lost baby #3.....i'm really hoping that after all of this that when i get a bfp, that i can be so happy and excited. i hope you get the answers that you need from your appt, and that you can have that
the wait until your appt next month i'm sure feels like an eternity, i know it did for me, but it is really going to be here faster than you think especially with it being the holidays. i found that time during the testing to be not as hard emotionally, but actually a little exciting b/c it gave me hope.
and i too would do anything to have my angel babies with me.

good luck next month

[MelissaT1973]

Angela {{{HUGS}}}, I so sorry your feeling down and like everyone else has said, going to the dr next month is a move in the right direction, and I believe you will end up with a precious baby of your own (or 2 or 3 or more!).
So many of us know that feeling and longing to have what we lost and you have every right to have moments of grief, sadness, and all the emotions that go with it.
Vent whenever you want, we are all here for each other! Lord knows you've imparted words to me to help me calm down, relax......etc.

{BIG HUG}

[EmilyRenee]

Angela i know exactly how you feel...I was feelin kinda the same way about all the bfp's. I am so excited for everybody but its so hard to wonder why it isn't me. Also i understand the thing about not being able to talk to the dh sometimes. Ben says he doesn't talk about it cuz he doesn't want to dwell on it. I finally came right out and was like well YOU DIDN'T HAVE SOMETHING LIVING INSIDE YOU AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WONDER EVERY DAY IF IT WAS SOMEHOW YOUR FAULT. I started crying and he felt bad...he said he hadn't looked at it like that before. Obviously I know it wasn't my fault and i want my baby back every day too. Sometimes i feel guilty cuz i don't want another bfp i want my other one back. Anyway part of what ben says is right there is a difference on dwelling on it and mourning it and im trying to find that line. I haven't shared this with jm yet but my mom had a stillborn when she was 5 1/2 months along. She kept the baby after and took pictures of it. She now carries those pictures around in her purse and proceeded to show them to my friend once just after she had a m/c. Probably not the best thing to do. Ive read before that some people never grieve their losses and that they just keep trying to be tough and not think about it, but thats also wrong. I was so scared to become like her. I want to be at peace with my loss in 20 years. I guess im telling you all this because i want you to know that everyone here has felt those feelings at one time or another. They are not wrong to feel and you need to grieve your baby in the best way you feel is right for yourself. Another thing that helps for me is to try to focus on other things going on in my life instead of thinking about ttc all the time. For instance thanksgiving is coming up and then christmas and before you know it your app. will have come and gone. I really hope you get some good news at your app. Keep your head up. Were all here for you.

[..Jessica..]

Oh Angela!!!!

I'm waiting to conceive right now, but, I know exactly how you're feeling!!! I wish I could wake up one morning, and test, and post the picture! But right now, that's not in the cards for me.

We're alllll here for support and tears and hugs!!!! Don't be scared to let loose and vent to us!!!

I wish I could give you a biggggggggggg hug right now!!!!!

[LisaB]

I'm really sorry sweetie! You're definitely not alone, I've had a lot of those same feelings lately.

It's wonderful there are so many BFP's on the boards these days but I don't feel like I'll be joining them and I can't explain it. After so many months and years of trying I'm 4 pregnancies in and still have no children but my furbabies.

It has definitely been a rocky time for all of us in this position hasn't it. Some people say to me, I don't know how you cope. I always think to myself, I don't know how I cope either! Except that I have my JM sisters to lean on! You're certainly not alone, and you can vent anytime.