[keekopeeko]

I am one of those babies that was conceived while the couple was "taking a break" after a miscarriage... after 3 miscarriages to be exact... and then my mom went on to have me, and three little sisters for me..

My mom asked the other day if i thought i had three older siblings in heaven watching over us.. and i said "No, i think they are all still little, and waitng to be held in your arms, and loved and cared for by you" ...because i know thats what i feel baby E is going to be for me... and she broke down crying!
its been 25 years and she said that she'd never thought of it like that before.. and that seeing me go through a miscarriage has brought it back for her. She never got to see heartbeats from her little ones because i guess they didnt do that sort of thing back then, and knowing that we got to see a heart beat and even have pictures of our baby just made her realize how much those were little lives that she lost and can still hold someday.. It was amazing, and sort of reasurring to me.. that its OKAY to still cry now and then, and that even 25 years from now, if something triggers it, i can still cry!
she lost the first two at like 6 weeks or something and then the third at 11 or 12 weeks (i think) and then that next month got pregnant with me!

just something to think about...

~Em

[heatherrose415]

that choked me all up!!!

[*Bobbie*]

Em,

This sounds so silly to say but you are so lucky that you and your mom can share the heartache of miscarriage. My mom just doesn't *get it*. She means well, but having never experienced it herself just doesn't understand why it always sits on your heart. The heartache never fully goes away. It isn't like the flu or an illness. It stays with you forever.

I am so happy you have some one like that IRL to share the heartache with. It can only make it easier to come to terms with the grief

Sounds like you two have a great relationship.

I am so sorry she lost three little ones. I agree they never grow up, but are just waiting for us to hold them when we join them in heaven. It gives us something to look forward to....and I think being able to hold them forever in heaven is a fair trade off for not being able to hold them in life. Thanks for posting that. I was having a pretty emotional day and now the thought of having a baby forever lifted my mood

[Kristen_at_the_lake]

Em,
I just want to say how touched I was by your sharing that. You have a great mom it sounds like

My mom just doesn't *get it*.[/b]

Bobbie,
My mom is the same way. She is trying to be helpful but admittedly hasn't gone through a m/c (she had 4 pregnancies...all healthy).
All, I can say is, take the love we get from our moms and use the support we have from our ladies here.

[Danica]

What an amazing way to look at it. So very true. Thanks for sharing

[Shaustin]

What a great story. You're mom sounds great!! I have to say I'm lucky, in that although my mom never suffered a m/c she has been one of my biggest supporters. She lets me cry and scream if I need to, I'm not sure what I'd do without her. I hope that each woman could have just one person IRL that understands just how they feel.

[..Jessica..]

I've got tears rolling down my cheeks right now!!!!

My mom and I have the same sort of bond. Even though she wasn't that supportive when I told her I was pregnant, when I was m/c all she could do was look at me and start crying.

My mom suffered a second trimester miscarriage. A boy. My brother would have been born in February 1981. She m/c him around this time of the year. I sometimes think of Quinn and his uncle up there in Heaven playing on the clouds or bugging my grandparents makes me bawl everytime -- including right now.

I've mentioned that scene to my mom before, and she laughs and cries along with me.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but I know the type of bond you're talking about.

[luvmygirls]

Awww Em, what a wonderful story. It's unfortunate that your mom had to go thru that, but nice that you can share that bond.