[AmandaEliz]

Hey girls... I'm having a crappy day & I know you all will commiserate with me. In my last post I was all excited b/c I got a BFP Saturday night. Well this morning I woke up crampy & started with the bright red bleeding by 0900. ***, Over?!?! (oh, that's Army speak for WHAT THE *beep* IS GOING ON HERE... I guess I shouldn't introduce new acronyms to the board).
I didn't even have time to call the Dr for blood work. Just over before it began. And of course this next cycle is a slim chance (due to the fact that I am w/o a left tube). So it looks like January is the next time. You know, trying used to be fun, but 15 months, 3-4 losses & 2 surgeries later, it's not so much.
I can't help but think there must be something wrong w/ me that my body won't let the fertilized egg STICK. I was so angry that I didn't even call my dr yet. I know there's nothing she can do & I'm not even sure what I want her to do... but darn it, I want to DO something. I'm a soldier; I get off my butt and do things! Not only am I a soldier, I'm an NCO & that means when something needs to get done I MAKE it happen. I am a woman in the world of men & any sign of weakness makes you a target & all I wanted to do all day was cry. That's probably why I like reading the posts here (even if I don't respond a lot). I can be obsessive & girly & no one laughs at me.
Oh, and to add insult to injury... my boss is an Army Major who is a complete idiot (this is a unanimous sentiment around the shop, not just me). He can barely find Afghanistan on a map, but today he feels the need to give me a hard time about my current project (which I think is fantastic). I have to be all "yes, sir... no, sir" when all I want to so say is... "Just because you don't understand the analysis, doesn't mean it’s wrong!". Luckily the lead contractor on site stepped in and explained it to the MAJ in kindergarten terms & he left me alone.
Ok... I'm done, I promise. I feel much better now. Thank you for listening/reading & I cross my heart, I will try to refrain from slipping in to Sergeant Mandy mode again on this board. What's that? I hear Pinot Noir calling my name...
Thanks again!
Mandy

[*Bobbie*]

Mandy..... oh man....

huge Chemical pregnancies SUCK! GRRR


I am sooo sorry yours didn't last either. I hope the bleeding is as light for you as it was for me. And yeah....wine is calling my name too

Okay now shut the door to our m/c club. No more chemical PG's on this board

[Frangipani]

aww Mandy, I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't know why you are having problems (or why any of us are, I guess). I can say that I do understand what you mean about being in a man's world, so to speak. In the field I am studying, it is very male dominated. Today I snapped at someone and do you know what he said? He asked me if I needed chocolate because clearly I was PMSing. It can't be that you are just irritated with what they are doing, it is always your gender/hormones/instability because you are female. So frustrating! I wish there were something I could say to make things better for you right now but having been there, I know I can't. But, if you want to vent and be "girly" here, we're here for you!

[keekopeeko]

MAN THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!

~Em

[mellochick]

Mandy!

I am so sorry for your chemical pg. I've never had a chemical pg, but i do know how multiple losses feel and it is sooo not good. Can also relate to a male dominated field - the last 6 weeks I was working on a project where i was the only minority and the only female. I'll bet the military takes it to a whole other level though. Feel free to be pink here, we embrace it all! take care of yourself - and have a glass of pinot for me!

[MinDB]

aww, i'm so sorry.

[AmandaEliz]

All - Thanks for the support. With Mike up in PA, I've been pretty blue & not had anyone to hug me & tell me it will work the next time, so I truly appreciate all the virtual hugs sent my way.
I also have to tack on a question... With a chemical preg, does this mean I can treat this cycle as "normal" and TTC this month? It seems that if I weren't OCD about testing, then I wouldn't have even known this time. It's not as painful/heavy as my natural m/c was (at 6w5d back in June). It seems just like a normal peroid. What do you guys think?

Nicole- Looks like you and I are from the same general area. I actually work in the District & live in Northern VA. Small world I am a short-timer, so my DH & I bought a house here. I'll be off active duty & in the reserves in just a few short weeks (22 days, 2hrs & 6mins, but who's counting?). I'm staying in my current shop, but as a civilian. As much as I've loved the Army, I'm looking forward to having my life as my own. My hubby is a USMC vet, so we're very excited for civilian life!

[heatherrose415]

oh sweet I am sooooo sorry this just sucks!!! I am glad you can come here and get away from all the men.

I really hope next time is the right time for you!!!! Im so sorry....

((HUGS))

[Shaustin]

Awww, I'm so sorry. I hate that things like this happen to any of us. I'm pretty sure with a chemical pregnancy (although I've never had one) that you can treat it like a "normal" period and TTC again right away. I hope the wine is treating you good!! BIG HUGS!!

[*Bobbie*]

I am not sure...but I am not waiting around and just going right back to TTC.

I hope next month is your sticky month!

and

[Danica]

Oh hun I am so sorry. (((HUGS)))