Not "really" supposed to be here, but...

kellydel · #1 December 2nd, 2007, 12:05 PM

Hi ladies, my name is Kelly and I have 2 boys- Colton will be 4 jan 21 and Wyatt is 20 mos- and recently had a m/c at 11wks 5 days. Baby #3 was a surprise bcp baby as DH didn't want anymore kids, but I was very excited (and he got to be as well) and was devastated at the loss. So, the reason I'm really not supposed to be here is that DH is still saying no to more kids, even tho I am hearbroken at that idea and hoping to change his mind before he gets a vasectomy. Meanwhile tho,my dr. doesn't want me on hormonal bc, i can't have an iud due to anatomical abnormalities so dh is supposed to use condoms- which he hates and we haven't even bought any. Since the m/c we've only actually dtd once and used the pull and pray method which I am praying will fail miserably, lol. But I haven't had my 1st AF back so I have no idea of when to seduce him for my best chances!

So I hope you ladies don't mind if I hang around here a bit, and I hope you'll pray with me that I get another happy lil "accident", lol!

Madison.N.Hailey'sMom · #2 December 2nd, 2007, 12:11 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are always welcome here. A friend of mine just found out she is pg and they were using the pull and pray methed. Heres to hoping DH changes his mind. And again Welcome to our home

keekopeeko · #3 December 2nd, 2007, 01:20 PM

Hi! well... since your DH isnt taking responsability for the BC method, then i think you are definately on the right track with the whole "seduction" idea..

does he have a vasectomy scheduled or is it just something he's considering??? As for before your first AF arrives really the only thing you can do is watch your CM.. for the signalling Egg white CM....you could also try OPKs.. but they can get pricey... and hope that you even ovulate... i think most ppl dont even ovulate until after their first period..

maybe some other girls will have better ideas

Good luck with the TTC another "surprise" baby!

~Em

..Jessica.. · #4 December 2nd, 2007, 01:30 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss!!!!

I too hope that you're able to conceive with the pull and pray method!!!

Is your hubby saying he doesn't want more kids because of your loss? Could it be his way of dealing with the loss of his 3rd baby?

I hope you two are able to talk about it, and both come to the same agreement to have another baby.

Good luck hun!!! Welcome to the board!!

Danica · #5 December 2nd, 2007, 01:43 PM

I am sorry to hear you lost you little one. I hope that you get a nice "suprise"

soon! I look forward to getting to know you better.

kellydel · #6 December 2nd, 2007, 02:11 PM

Thanks ladies! (Em its nice to see you here as well as PL board)

The vas isn't scheduled but its been something he's been planning to do since before our LAST baby was born, lol, not just since the m/c. DH seems to be pretty much "over" the whole grieving process, which seems to be pretty typical of men, while I still have my bad days.

Melanie0507 · #7 December 2nd, 2007, 02:20 PM

Sorry that you have to be here, but hope that your stay won't be long. Hopefully you can seduce dh enough to get a nice little surprise before too long! Looking forward to getting to know you!

*Judy* · #8 December 2nd, 2007, 04:07 PM

Welcome!!! I am so sorry about your loss. I hope your stay here is short and things work out as you want. I also agree that if he's not being responsible for the birth control...then it's his issue if you get a BFP!

heatherrose415 · #9 December 2nd, 2007, 08:16 PM

I am so sorry for your loss

to give you hope, I also have 2 boys, and my husbanddidnt want anymore, then we got pregnant, surprise baby!! but we both got sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!! Then we lost our baby.

My husband said WE ARE DONE. finally 4 months later, after me mentioning it several times and both of us having alot of long talks he decided to give me one more baby

I know you think your husband is over the grieving process, I thought my husband was too, but he definately was not, it was just easier for him not to talk about it. and his grief was one reason he didnt want to try again, he was so scared of it happening again.

So give it time and I am sure he will be ready when he is ready.
-Heather.

luvmygirls · #10 December 3rd, 2007, 07:51 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. My name is Kim, DH and I have 2 dds, and like your DH, he didn't want anymore, then I got pg on bcps. I was super excited b/c I really always wanted another. And DH was excited too. Then we lost the baby. We were both devastated, and after talking it over, DH decided that he was willing to give it another try and go for that 3rd baby that we were meant to have. We will be ttc in January. I hope your DH comes around as well, and if not, I hope you get your surprise baby!

HangingInThere · #11 December 3rd, 2007, 08:19 AM

WOW!! I never realized how many of us were here in the same boat. I too have two beautiful children a DD who is 4 1/2 and a DS who is 2 1/2. We got pg totally by surprise as well with a third and both became excited and then lost the baby as well. My dh feels the same way. He's done and doesn't want anymore but after talking to him, he has told me that he will give me another if that's what I want. I think he just likes "trying", kwim! Anyway we go through the same debate up and down alot too but in the end I think he really doesn't mind having another as long I can handle it and keep up at home. I also think he's afraid of going through another loss and watching me go through another loss, but he's trying to remain supportive. My dh too refuses to wear condoms and BC wrecks havic with my hormones so I haven't been on it. I can tell you what I have done. I chart my temps so I know approximately when I will O and watch my CM. Then after BDing with Dh instead of getting up to go to the bathroom, because I refuse to do the pull and pray, like I want that all over me; I just lay in bed. The first few times I expected Dh to say, aren't you going to get up, but when he didn't I just remained in bed. Then I lay there and pray, swim spermies swim and hope it works. Although even that is a difficult road at times. It's hard to get your hopes built up for having another and not have Dh share in the excitement, but on the other for me this last month Dh thought I was pg before I did and so the emotions built higher because he shared them. No matter what it's an emotional road, so just be prepared. BTW I am truely sorry for your loss and pray that your Dh will come around in wanting to share the joy of another pg and child.

Hugs,