So, I really am happy for all these people but it's still hard, b/c I'm supposed to be 19 or 20 weeks right now. Anyhow, every week we go to a different couple's house for a Football party. Yesterday Zack's best friend and his wife hosted. They just had a baby in October. So here's a guest list:

Brad and Monika : baby born in October
Melissa and Steve: 1 year old baby
Craig and Christine: 1 year old plus baby 2 due in April
Joe and Jill: baby due in May
Paul and Maureen: baby due in Feb.
Tom and Jill: 2 year old and baby 2 due in January
Chris and Abbey: just got engaged

Erika and Zack: nothing...we have a new kitchen???? Everyone was talking about their pregnancy and babies and blah blah blah. So yeah, I talked about how wonderful my heated floor is in our kitchen.

I went in the bathroom and cried for a minute before I could pull myself together. I was supposed to be due when Christine is due. And only half these people new I was pregnant in the first place so I didn't want to freak out the other half who are currently pregnant. No one brought it up.

I have to get used to all of this I guess because Zack is 31 almost and all of his friends are too. I'm 24. My friends are still bar hopping and wasting money on leather boots, not buying bigger houses and cars and being pregnant. Trying to put it in perspective, but yesterday was just really really overwhelming. I miss being pregnant. I'm sure you all understand.

[Mommy2Makenna]

Oh Erica,
I know we all have friends who have young kids or are pregnant, but that is a lot of people to be around at one time with lots of baby talk. If it were me, I'd have cried in the bathroom for an hour! I know it's hard now, but try and think of all the playmates your child will have when you do become pregnant again. I'm sure your turn is coming soon. ::hugs::

[..Jessica..]

I agree that it's very hard to see close friends and family pregnant or with babies when we've all been through a loss. I think about my pregnancy all the time and I can't seem to do anything but cry.

I just KNOW that you'll get your really soon!!! You and Zack will be parents before you know it!

[Danica]

Erika, I am sorry you are feeling down. Lord knows that I would feel the same way and want to cry too if I had to bounce around to all the new baby families and baby on the way families. I am sure it is especially hard for you to see the lady who has the same due date month as your little one. I guess if it is too hard on you emotionally you could always take a break. DH should understand. I hope you get pregnant soon!!!

By the way, hold your head up high about those heated floors! I wish mine were heated. I hop from throw rug to throw run in the moring cause mine are freezing!

[heatherrose415]

I got teary just reading it! that had to be sooooooooooo hard!!!

a few weeks after my loss a few friends came over, both had newborns and were breastfeeding and talking baby talk, it was so hard sitting there without crying my eyes out. after they left, i did cry my eyes out.

[keekopeeko]

and its SO HARD to feel like you "fit" with the same groupd of friends when you dont have the same things to talk about! it SUCKS....

Has any of those friends experienced a miscarriage too??? because i know that all those women (if they knew) were feeling very sympathetic towards you!

~Em

Yeah I definitely did not fit in yesterday. And surprisingly, no one tried to change the subject or anything. Towards the end of the party I gave in and started talking about babies and pregnancy, I didn't bring up my own. I have a degree in child development and I'm a nanny so I had some stuff to say. The next football party, I will definitely not be going! I hope none of you have to go through that!!!

[greenchild]

oh hun I am so sorry you had to go thru that!!! You did much better than I would have done!!! I would have to have had DH take me home. There's this girl at work that is pg, and I hate it when she comes into my area bc everyone asks her how the pg is going and I just don't want to listen to it. I guess they tried for like 2 - 3 yrs to get pg so it's not like I'm not happy for her, but I still don't want to hear about her pg, at least not until I get pg (or find out here in a few days anyway). Sometimes I feel so selfish for feeling this way, but then I think, I'm entitled to my feelings too.

One day at DH's work these 2 ladies came into his area for something and they got to talking about their pregnancies (one was newly pg and the other was nearing the end of her pg) and stayed chatting for a long time, even though they were just talking to each other and not anyone in that area. We had just lost our 2nd pg, and one of the gals was a friend of DH's and knew that we had just had a loss but she never even considered that DH might not want to hear her complain about her pg symptoms right next to him. He stopped talking to her after that. He still won't talk to her and that was months ago. I don't think she even knows what she did to make him mad at her.