[Julia'sMommy]

Hey ladies,

Just wondering if anyone is currently, or has been in the same situation as me... I think I'm about to go through my first ovulation since chemical pregnancy and subsequent m/c (on Nov 17th)... and even though I've been telling myself I was going to wait at least one cycle before ttc again, I'm feeling that I want to try anyway.. not go crazy with it, but maybe just try once or twice unprotected to see if it happens...

My issue isn't the trying, it's the not telling people that we are trying. Everyone (close friends/family)knows the doc recommended waiting and I've been telling people since the m/c we are going to wait... (initially I felt I wouldn't be ready to ttc again so soon, but now I feel differently).

With New Years coming up, and the fact that we're hosting a potluck/party at our place, it will be difficult to not let on to people that we've secretly been trying since I will be avoiding alcohol... If we do succeed in conceiving, we want to be able to wait a bit before telling people but I feel like all my girlfriends are keeping track of my cycles and know when I'm expected to ovulate and have AF...

How do you deal with this stuff???

[..Jessica..]

I have an easy excuse for you for not drinking!!!

You want to make sure all of your guests get home safely, and you don't want alcohol to blur what's going on at your home. Whether it be the alcohol consumption, the noise level and the food you've prepared. You want the party to be a complete success and you've decided not to drink. You could have virgin versions of the drinks as well -- such as sprite/7Up, orange and cranberry juice -- very tasty!!!

Hope this helps!!!! I know keeping a secret from people like this one is hard, but, it'll be a HUGE surprise when it does come out!!!

WOOHOO for you Oing soon too!!! That's great!!!

[MelissaT1973]

Another tip regarding drinks....if your a wine/champagne drinker, keep a bottle (or 2!) of sparkling cider in the fridge, pour yourself that in your glass and you're good to go. It looks the same and there is no explaining required. Silly perhaps but works!

[*Judy*]

When people ask me if I am TTC I tell them we are thinking about it. That is all you have to say. Also you don't have to justify your actions to anyone. If you want get the ball rolling now then do it. Not sure about your family and friends but after both my losses, no one ever spoke of it unless I brought it up. It was an uncomfortable situation. And for your friends...if they ask about A/f and Oing tell them that your body is all screwed up from the m/c anyway. That should help. I really like Jessica's idea of you being the designated driver in case others get a little tipsy. As a guest I would think that would be awesome for a host to do. Good luck and hope you get you BFP quickly!

[*Bobbie*]

My view on this.... It's no ones buisness

If you are ready, I would TTC and not think twice about it. Actually I am. I had a m/c 14 days ago and I am Oing now. We decided not to wait. When I m/c at 14 weeks I was only told to wait one cycle. Most people who have chemical pregnancies don't even know they were ever pregnant and TTC like normal

About the drinking if you feel like you need to explain to anyone why you aren't drinking tell them you are trying to get your body 100% ready for a baby.

for when you have an Oops

[woohoo502]

what everyone else said. You could also have DH bring you drinks like sprite and cranberry juice that look alcoholic but aren't. Probably, people will be too into their own drinking to notice you are not.


I also wanted to say that I'm glad that I'm not the only person who doesn't want to listen to their Dr. about waiting one cycle to TTC and is hoping for a well orchestrated "oops" this month.

[babyblue]

Ditto what the other girls said! You don't have to explain anything! But if you feel more comfortable, you can always tell them you had too much the weekend before and the thought of drinking doesn't appeal to you at all.

My doctor didn't tell me anything except to come back in a month. He told my good friend when she had a miscarriage that she would be very fertile 2 weeks after her m/c.. and that she could start trying right away.. so I'm going for it as soon as I am ready and think I am ovulating.. hopefully in another week or so!

I wish you the best on your ooops! and hope we all get them very soon! What a great Christmas/New Year's present for all of us!

[Julia'sMommy]

You are all very right. It is no one's business but ours... And, I'm sure that you are right Woohoo502 (sorry, don't know all your names yet) most people will probably be more into their own drinking than mine! I will make myself a fun "virgin" drink and pig out all night!!! hahaha.. besides, I might be eating for two

I was told to wait, but I just can't... We want a baby so badly and after all the reading that I've done on chemical pregnancy, I really haven't found any solid reason why physically we need to wait. I know when I ovulate (can ready my body signs) so dating the pregnancy won't be a problem... Emotionally I am ready so we are going to go for it!

I've decided however, that I will only poas on New Years Eve even though AF is due Dec 21st... I figure that if I have another chemical, I can avoid knowing about it by testing later... amd, by then, a positive test will be very clear! I've been so out of the christmas spirit so far but the thought of ttc again is really helping me feel great about the holidays!!!

I hope we all have BFP's for the New Year!!!