[ShannonMVT]

Do you guys believe the whole "just stop trying and it will happen" theory? I just don't get how it would give you a better chance to get pregnant.

And I get a little irritated sometimes when it's implied that maybe I should think about doing that. Well if I want to do the whole progesterone thing and give my baby the best chance, I really can't. Plus, I dunno, sure I could stop temping and doing OPKs but I have a feeling I'd still keep checking my CM and CP. Does that count? If we only BDed when Dh really wanted to, it might end up being a couple times a month.

Sorry if this sounds like a vent, I don't really mean it to, I'm just kind of frustrated today.

[keekopeeko]

i dont know if it really works.. but i do know that both times i got pregnant it was during a month that i had told myself it didnt really matter if i did or not and to just have fun... but i always made sure i let DH know that there were 3-4 days in a row that we were going to be just "having fun" .....i just wasnt stressed about it because i didnt care if i got pregnant that month...

so who knows.. you do what works for you! and if you gotta try in order to do the progesterone thing.. then do it!

~em

[..Jessica..]

I think when someone says to "stop trying and it'll happen" they sometimes don't really understand what goes on behind "trying". I'll be COMPLETELY honest here and tell you what I orginially thought "trying" was -- DTD every time you think you're fertile. That was it. I had no idea about charting, checking temps, using OPKs, checking CM -- nothing!!! Now that I know what goes on with it, I felt like I was rude or ignorant to every woman that said they were trying. Now I understand it a lot more and am more open minded toward it.

Here's my advice -- if you want to stop trying and just have fun, you can still check your CM, maybe stop using the OPKs because not only could they drive you insane but it could get costly every month. Stop temping as well, that way you don't have to compare your temps everyday and possibly drive yourself crazy.

Just putting in my two cents here. Sorry if I come off as harsh!

[MrsPoe]

I wanted to add that the month I got pregnant was the same month that I stopped "trying". In fact I thought I had missed my fertile time because I was sick. I wasn't temping or anything. Ok, but here is the thing. I finally accepted this month that I may never have a living child in my arms. I may need to adopt. I am trying to accept this the best that I can and dh and I didn't think about charting, cm, but I did do the opk's (i am addicted to poas!)hehe. I am like you and need to know if I could be pregnant right away. I need to know when I have O'd so that I can keep my diabetes under tight control and then I need my blood thinners too. So I only noticed cm on tp when I wipe and made note of it on ff. I kind of started temping again, but not full heartedly. It is so hard to stop "trying" when you have been doing that for so long. I hope that this month will be the one for you and then you can put this all behind you!!

[AmandaEliz]

Hey Shannon,
I know what you mean. My sister in law is the one who's always telling me "it will happen when you're least expecting it". I want to smack her. You know why? Because her & my brother in law got preg 3 months after she went off the pill & now they have a little girl. She hasn't been through the losses & the surgeries & the bloodwork. When you want a baby, it's almost impossible to "stop trying". Regardless of whether or not I'm temping/charting/OPKing... I'm still going to keep an eye on my body. I'm still going to know when AF is due & I'm still going to POAS (or many, many sticks in my case. And for Mike & I, we only "try" every other month anyway since I only have 1 tube... so I'm going to make sure I know what's going on.
If the stress is too much, then maybe. If you're at that point, then take some time off. If not, just ignore them & keep doing what you need to do.

~Mandy

[ShannonMVT]

I guess I just hate that sometimes it's assumed that if I just chilled out about it, I'd get pregnant and I really don't think that's always the case. Sure, there are a lot of people who get pregnant, while "not trying" but there are a lot who get pregnant who "are trying" also.
I actually don't obsess about it 80-90% of the time. I just have bad days now and then, mostly when it seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. I've thought about taking a break from JM because of that, but I hate to do that. When I see so many others get pregnant, it tends to make me feel like a failure because I'm not.

There may come a point and time when I decide to stop the charting and possibly the opks, or scale back severely on it. But I can't see myself not trying to time BDing. As it was this month, it was timed, but we still only BDed when we felt like it and enjoyed ourselves.