[keekopeeko]

Well today is CD 12... last month i Oed on CD 14... so my DH and i are going to be busy for the next few days.. possibly 4 because i want to make sure to catch my fertile time for sure...

but you know what.. i am terrified of NOT getting pregnant, or even of GETTING pregnant... I feel like i want this SO bad that i can taste it! its like a constant ache inside of me, to WANT to be pregnant....

last month though, when i would take the pregnancy test.. just the thought of the possibility of it being a positive test was terrifying... i was almost releived that it wasnt.. but at the same time i was just sooooo disapointed.... and honestly, i dont know how many more months i can take of it... i cannot even imagine TTC for as long as some of you women have been.... and right now, i cannot even imagine TTC longer than 4 months.. which is how long it took to get pregnant with Baby E...

I just want this SO badly..im scared of it not happening...

Just wanted to vent

~Em

[heatherrose415]

Im so sorry!! I am feeling the same way. and was so afraid of geting a BFP my first cycle trying too, and was relieved when it was a BFN, but sad too.

and I also dont want to try for over 4 months!!!!

((HUGS))

im right there with you

[Danica]

(((hugs))) I think those mixed emotions are perfectly normal. For me it is the fear of going through another m/c.

[steph&dan]

same here..I am afraid of getting pregnant, suffering through morning sickness to then end up with nothing. makes me sad. And then again I am fraid that I wont be able to get pregnant again. stinks!

[*Judy*]

I am in the same boat...I want to get that BFP so bad but am so afriad of the pain that may come if I m/c again!! This is one of the hardest things in the world. I am so glad I have you guys...I know Em started this post but it is so true to what I am feeling to. Thanks everyone for letting me know I am not alone..

[..Jessica..]

I'm in the same boat as a few of you!

I want to be pregnant SO BAD! But being in the situation we're in right now, we couldn't possibly be able to afford everything we'd need for a baby. I'm terrified every time I test when AF is late, hoping it's negative, but disappointed when I don't see a positive.

I hope you get preggers this month Em!!!!

to you!!!!

[luvmygirls]

I feel the same way...I want to be pg so badly, but I know as soon as I see that BFP I'll be terrified again. I'm going to try to remain positive...that's all I can do!

[victorialv]

Well, I know when we start TTC that I will feel the same way. I am sorry Em. My thoughts are with you sweetie....