Coming out of the woodwork...

babyblue · #1 January 8th, 2008, 09:07 AM

Pregnant Women. They are everywhere. And many of them are my friends. I know you are all probably going thru the same thing, but last night I just lost it. One of my dear friends texted me telling me to check my email. I couldn't log in, so I messaged her back and asked if she was pregnant, and she said yes. I just had dinner with her 3 weeks ago, and she told me they just decided to start trying. Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy for her. She deserves it as much as anyone I know- her husband just had a kidney transplant a few months ago and before then he was too sick and on too much medication to even try. I am thrilled for them. But last night- the same night I pick up my prescription b/c I can't even have a frickin period- just wasn't a good time for me to hear the news. I just found out less than a week ago one of my other good friends is pregnant, and at Christmas my niece announced she is pregnant- an accident, she and her husband were planning on waiting a couple of years first.

anyway, so I messaged her back and said all nice things, but then I had to go into my bathroom and bawl for a while. My DH told me I should be happy for them.. and I told him of course I was happy for them, that wasn't it! He doesn't get it, but I know you all do. It's not that I don't want them to have a baby.. it's just that I'm so sad, b/c I should be right there right now.

Thanks for reading my mess.. I am doing fine today.. last night was just rough. I can't believe how hard this has all been on me. I am usually so upbeat. I'm trying my best to be positive!

Danica · #2 January 8th, 2008, 09:29 AM

(((HUGS))) I am sorry you are feeling down. I know that it is tough and sometimes gets overwhelming when you are ttc. It does seem like as soon as I lost Aspen and started TTC again there we pregnant people everywhere. Just remember that you are allowed to feel this way. You are not angry at other people's happiness for getting pregnant but rather sad for you not being pregnant when you should be. That was the hardest. Knowing I should be there right along with the rest of them. (((HUGS)))

..Jessica.. · #3 January 8th, 2008, 11:41 AM

I know exactly what you're feeling!!!!!

My BFF found out today that she's having a boy, I'm SO happy for her and I'll love her new baby as much as I love my God-Children (her current daughter and son) but, that should have been ME back in September finding out. It's hard to explain, but, like you said, everyone on here knows exactly what we're all going through!!!

I think you crying is healthy, in a way, it's helping you heal.

heatherrose415 · #4 January 8th, 2008, 12:09 PM

I think crying is healthy and healing too! I am almost crying now.

I completely understand where you are coming from, you are right in how you are feeling!! I feel the same way.

I am so sorry

notrub98 · #5 January 8th, 2008, 12:50 PM

Yup, I hear ya, and I agree with you. It has nothing to do with being happy for others or not being happy for others. It has to do with missing being there as well!

I feel your pain, and big hugs coming your way!

woohoo502 · #6 January 8th, 2008, 04:05 PM

Oh Amber, I know exactly how you feel. I have had 2 friends announce pregnancies since I had my m/c. The first one was only a week after it happened, if that. It hurt. Then, on New Year's Eve, another friend announced. I am happy for them, and congratulated etc, but then I had to remove myself from the situation and cry a little bit. I just kept thinking, I would be due a couple of weeks before her, blah, blah, blah. My DH *tries* to understand, but I don't know that he really does. I hope AF shows up for you soon so you can get back to TTC!

jademyst13 · #7 January 8th, 2008, 04:37 PM

I know two people around me that are pg by 'accident'. Both young, not married, not ready.

One happens to be my BFF's roommate and I just found out the other day that she is due two weeks after I was. TWO WEEKS! I think it is going to be hard to go over there as she starts showing more and more.

*Barb* · #8 January 8th, 2008, 04:38 PM

Oh gosh, that's just the hardest isn't it?! The same thing happened to me! It seems like everybody is getting pregnant and staying pregnant around me! It's so hard to understand why we can't just stay pregnant! Except my poor BFF felt awful about telling me that she was preggo with their baby #3. They weren't even trying and she emailed me b/c she felt so bad. Like you, I'm SO happy for them. I just wish that I could be preggo too! Sorry hun! A good cry definitely helps the situation though!

Melanie0507 · #9 January 8th, 2008, 04:57 PM

You're right, the pregnant people seem to be *everywhere*. Sorry you had a rough night last night, but I think a good cry every once in a while is good for the soul

Hope the prometrium does the trick and you are back to TTC soon!

*Bobbie* · #10 January 8th, 2008, 05:34 PM

I think it is totally normal to be happy for them, but mad at the world.

Right around my due date a co-worker of mine had twin boys. I actually had to leave a mid day staff meeting with no explanation because I didn't want to ruin his happiness. I was happy his babies were born strong and healthy but couldn't help but mourn mine. I went into a stockroom and cried my eyes out.

You are right most people IRL just don't get it. I too try and stay sooo positive, but sometimes I break. I have to say it does get a little easier as time goes on. You KNOW we are all here for you!

Love ya girl and I hope you are feeling a little better by now.

steph&dan · #11 January 10th, 2008, 09:39 PM

Amber, I know exactly how you feel. My DF's nephew's wife is pregnant. She is due 6 days before I was. I haven't even spoken to her since thanksgiving. It's like I want to forget that she is still pregnant. One of my favorite nurse practioners at work just told me that she is 14 wks pregnant. She is due 2 wks after I was supposed to be. On TV, in person... they are everywhere. Even my highschool first love's horrible hateful man stealing wife just had her 4th child around the time of my miscarriage and she is 40. I just think to myself, why not me. Why can't I have just one happy healthy baby! We feel your pain!

#12 January 11th, 2008, 02:24 AM

I'm so sorry for what you are going through but completely understand your feelings. I don't know the whole story but my hubby was telling me yesterday that a dad threw his children off a bridge because he was mad at the mother. The youngest was about 4 months or so and the oldest around 3. He read that they both were drug addicts and the first thing I thought was why is it so easy for them to have children and here we are, thinking we are ok parents and don't do drugs, don't drink and don't even swear yet we can't get pregnant again.

It's frustrating. I hope everything works out for you cycle and you can get your BFP real soon.

Best wishes hun

Lv2Mommy · #13 January 11th, 2008, 02:44 AM

Ugh - that's the worst. I would've cried too, in fact I've done the exact same thing. It seems like there are pregnant people popping up all over the place since my m/c. Just last week, my kids jumped in the car at school all excited b/c a friend in there class told everyone her mom is pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I cried all the way home. I hope you're feeling better & AF comes quickly.

babybatax2 · #14 January 11th, 2008, 05:40 AM

I know the feeling...we all know the feeling. About 1 weeks after I miscarried a good friend of my husband told him that him and his wife were pregnant. I just told my huisband I want to be happy for them, but I just can't right now. I husband so sooo upset with me saying it was a horrible thing to say. Maybe 2 weeks later the lady had a miscarriage, and my husband made me feel so guilty for saying what I had said. I don't think he even understand my emotions at the time.

It is extremely hard to see all the pregnant woman, but I think it gets a little, very little, easier each day.