not sure how I feel about this

luvmygirls · #1 January 9th, 2008, 08:49 AM

This is our 1st month off officially ttc after our loss in October.

I talked to my bff yesterday (I've known her since 1st grade... almost 21 years! ....and I love her like a sister) and she told me that her and her dh are ttc now too. They got married in May, and were planning on waiting until April to try, but had an oops last month, and when it turned out she wasn't pg, they realized they didn't really wanna wait any longer. When she told me they were ttc, I was THRILLED and I still am, but it kinda feels like competition to me now, kwim? She was in the room for both of my dds births, and I was planning on having her there for the next one....but if she gets pg this month and I don't, she prolly won't be there for my baby's birth b/c she'll have a tiny newborn to take care of. And if we BOTH get pg this month, I'd be due 3 days before her...so she still might not be able to be there for me b/c you know how the end of pg is....

But I've never been pg with anyone before, I she is my best friend in the whole world, and there's no one I'd rather be pg with! I think it would be so fun to be sick and whiny together, find out the sex a the same time, go shopping for baby stuff, picking out names, taking pics of us together with our big pg bellies, and having our kids grow up together. That's all the stuff I thought of right away!

Am I just being selfish? I like being pg b/c all the attention is on me. And if she's pg at the same time, I'll be sharing the spotlight. Then I get worried about our babies being compared for their whole lives if they are only 3 days apart....kwim? All the milestones and such. Am I just getting crazy about this? I mean, the positives totally outweigh the negatives, but I wish I wasn't seeing a bad side at all. Anyone ever pg at the same time as a friend or family member? How did it work out?

notrub98 · #2 January 9th, 2008, 08:55 AM

I do know what you mean, actually. I feel like friends do compete, even though they don't mean to be competing! I would say it is going to be fabulous to be pregnant with your BFF, even if you don't realize it yet! I was pregnant with one of my closest friends and I wondered what that would be like but it turned out to be a BLAST. Sadly, mine ended in m/c and her's did not, and she was so there for me when all that happened - more so than any of my other friends, actually.

So, I say live it up! I bet you will find it is much more fun than you are anticipating!

keekopeeko · #3 January 9th, 2008, 09:05 AM

well actually.. me and one of my childhood best friends are trying to conceive our healthy seconds.. (we both had miscarriages when we got pregnant the second time) right now! Her cycle is about 2 days ahead of mine.. and she's been complaining about tender boobs etc... so i am really excited that she might be pregnant, but pretty bummed that i might be left behind..

so yeh.. i know what you mean...

But i am hoping still that we get or have gotten pregnant at the same time... i think it would be really fun! but we dont live in the same area or anything.. we only talk on the phone.. we havent seen eachother in about 3 years...

I think if you and your friend get pregnant together you will really enjoy it... more than anything..

~Em

heatherrose415 · #4 January 9th, 2008, 10:00 AM

I can completely understand where you are coming from.

and I agree, when you are pregnant, you get the spotlight, and i can see how sharing the spotlight would be hard!!! but hopefully it all works out just fine!!!

me and my very very good friend are TTC together and its really nice to talk to her, we have both been trying the same amount of time, and we can both talk about how much those BFN's suck, etc.....

on the other hand, I have another friend that i DO NOT want to be pregnant with, lol, just a different personality, etc... and i KNOW she would be competetive and hog the spotlight, where as I would not hog the spotlight.

..Jessica.. · #5 January 9th, 2008, 10:29 AM

I've never had to even think about this, but I can totally see your side of everything. I agree that pregnant women are usually the spotlighted women for 9 months, because she has the big belly and a baby moving all over the place inside. Who really wants to share that with anyone? I don't!

If she is/does get pregnant this month, I'm sure you'll be there for her, just like she was with you! I hope you're able to be pregnant with her! That could be something that makes you two even closer after 21 years!

Sorry I wasn't any help!!!

Brittanie · #6 January 9th, 2008, 12:51 PM

My best friend and I were pregnant together the first time...six weeks apart, but close enough. Being pregnant with her was SO much fun. Of course, that made it doubly hard when I lost Cora and 6 weeks later she had a healthy baby. And it's still hard for me. She now has two babies...and I only have one. ((Maybe that's where my baby fever is coming from))

With Erin, my sister was due 3 months after me. We got pregnant belly pics taken together.

I had a lot of fun both times. I guess, I've never had the spotlight to myself, but I've never really missed it, kwim?