[Brittanie]

I think it has to do with the fact that my best friend, who was pregnant with me when I was pregnant with Cora, just had her second baby.


I should have two babies.


*sigh*


I've been depressed AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL day.

[*Judy*]

Awe Brittanie...that makes perfect sense. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

[Solace]

*comforts*

[..Jessica..]

You DO have two babies, one is just up in Heaven watching over her little sister, her mommy, and her daddy.

I wish nobody would ever lose a child! EVER! I'm sorry Brittanie!!!

[heatherrose415]

*tears* I am so sorry sweety!!!! Like jessica said, You do have 2 babies.

But Iunderstand you need 2 babies to hold!!! I completely understand you wanting to TTC!

[Brittanie]

The problem is, when I get pregnant again I'll then want THREE babies to hold! *sigh* There's no solution to this. I do need to talk to DH about it though. It's getting worse.

[heatherrose415]

i know, that is the bummber of losing a baby it sucks !!!!

[*Bobbie*]

[babyblue]

I'm so sorry.. I know that it hurts.

HUGS!

[jademyst13]

[..Jessica..]

[Shaustin]

Awwww, I'm so sorry Brittanie. Don't you hate how the pain just creeps up on you?! BIG HUGS.

[Danica]

Sorry hun You're right, the pain of losing Cora and wanting to have her here with you will never go away. It is not fair. I hope that one day in the far far far far far future you can hold your little girl again and be complete. (((HUGS)))

[Brittanie]

Danica, I hope so too.

Funny you should phrase it that way, being "complete." One of my Cora songs is "Incomplete" by the Backstreet Boys. I had to listen to it today. There's something about making myself cry like that that is very cleansing and healing.

Incomplete (Backstreet Boys)

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is
incomplete

[Danica]

That song is so perfect. The words made me cry. (((HUGS)))

[luvmygirls]

Aww I know how badly you must be hurting, and that song is so fitting. Maybe you should talk to DH about ttc again. I know it's probably not the "suggested" coping method, but it may help you. *hugs*

[HangingInThere]

Brittanie,
I'm right there with you. It isn't that I really knew anyone due around the same time but since loosing Ben I have met other women who are. There is a gal in my MOPS group that is having her c-section on my EDD. It also is hard when I go to MOPS and see all the other new babies or when they ask for those people have news to share about a new pg. That was the part I was looking so forward to sharing at MOPS with Ben and I miscarried the week before MOPS Fall Semester started so I never got to share my exciting news. Regardless every time I think about giving up it is these scenarios that make me realize no I want another baby to hold. I've told Dh several times that the only way I know how to get over my loss and move forward is to get pg and have another. Not that I want to replace Ben, because I never could, but because this is the only way to have another baby in my arms and end on a happy note.
Trust me you are not alone in your feelings!
Hugs,