[silverfish96]

I am not sure I am posting in the right Forum or not but I was feeling so lost and hopeless,it feels nice to come to this site .I am 35 years old.I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old daughter .Now right after my daughter was born,we started trying again on and off for about 4 years.My husband 's job have him away about every three months .Well my LMP was Nov 14 and I got a +ve test on 19th Dec.Was so excited and in high spirits.My husband was away at that time and still is.He also seemed surprised and happy for me.Started spotting on 2nd Jan and an ultra sound on 9th Jan showed pregnancy not viable anymore.Was so devastated ,I cried and cried.Still am waiting for natural miscarriage to occur,nothing just very minimal bleeding.Will see the Doctor on Tuesday and she will decide that should I go for a D&C etc.Well so much for a miracle that happened after 4 years and vanished in 6th week of gestation.Have no one to blame this on but my ownself.Too down in dumps.Need some reassuring words from you kind ladies.Don't even know when and how I would get back on track for trying again.Any information would be much appreciated.

[Danica]

Oh hun, I am so sorry. I know how you feel waiting. I am doing the same thing right now, waiting to m/c naturally. Every day that passes feels like an eternity. Every time I feel wet down there I think, is it going to happen now. I use the restroom and I think, when I wipe what will I see? I know it is torture. The excitment of getting that positive and then the devistation to find out that the baby isn't going to make it. Big HUGS. It must be so hard for you with your husband away. Hopefully you two are at least able to talk. I know it isn't the same though. Don't blame yourself. I am trying to not do that too. It is nothing that you did or didn't do. If you feel like screaming, crying, or just want a laugh stick around. We are here for you.

[Christal]

Hi baby-Dreamz I am so sorry you are going through this. There is accually a board on here for miscarrige and pregnancy loss and if it werent for the people on that board I dont know how I would have gotten through mine. I am glad that you found us. We have all been through it and are here for you when you need us. Like Danica said, as hard as it may be dont blame yourself. I think we all or at least I know I did for a while thinking of everything I could have done wrong to the extreme of thinking that drinking tap water did somthing to cause it. But I know that there is nothing I did that caused it. I dont know how you feel about God but I believe for some reason it was not in his plan. I know it will take time but you will be ok. If you need to talk we are here to listen. Take care of yourself!!!

[Frangipani]

babydreamz...welcome to the forum. You don't have anyone to blame-not yourself, especially. Unfortunately these things happen. It is not your fault!

I'm really sorry you are going through this. If you need to rant or cry or laugh or anything, we're here.

[Melanie0507]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in Nov and had a D&C 2 days before Thanksgiving. If it weren't for the girls here and on the Pregnancy Loss Board (be sure to check that one out too!), I'm not sure where I'd be. Everyone here is so supportive!

Even though it is through sad circumstances that we all end up here, this is a great group of women! I look forward to getting to know you. Please make sure you let us know how your appointment next week turns out.

[silverfish96]

Thank you all for your kind and soothing words.I will be frequenting this board for your kind advices.

[silverfish96]

Thanks you so much for your kind words. I do feel I have ended up in the right place.At this moment I just want a natural miscarriage.The thought of D&C makes me so scare and also with my husband away, I also have to take care of my other kids as well.I gave away all my daughter's clothing and gear to firends and was so excited that for this baby I will shop from the scratch ,those booties,bibs,onsie and tiny diapers.Oh my God ,I was thinking and planning of so much ahead that now I feel I have nothing to do and think. Now the spotting has stopped even and no cramping or pain etc in abdominal area so I suspect mine won't be a natural m/c .Well ladies I will update you all on Tuesday that what my Dr. thinks about this situation .Atleast this m/c phase get over so that I can start think of babies again.I always wanted 5 kids , but will now settle for 3 happily. I am not a very religious person in action but in my heart I did know that everything has a meaning behind it that comes in light later one in our lives. When my husband got into a horrible highway accident in 2000 and ended up with almost every bone broken in his body ,I knew he would make it and he did beautifully.So I am not blaming God for this, just me that whether I didn't have taken the 10 day trip to LA after I discovered I was pregnant or cleared the snow from my driveway or never have run around shopping from one shop to another etc etc.But I know none of these actions caused my m/c.
So thanks once again for your small talks,I am already feeling a little better.Instead of sitting in one place whole day,I will find some activity in house today.Atleast that may take my mind off my misery.Will get back on Tuesday with my update.

[tparum]

Hi and welcome to the board. im so so so very sry for ur loss. and like the other ladies said unfortinately these things happen.

[cam & sami's mom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find the support you need on this board, it has always been helpful to me.

[luvmygirls]

Hello and welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. All the girls here are wonderful and supportive.

[jademyst13]

I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you found us. The ladies here and on the Pregnancy loss forum are great. I m/c just over a month ago and without them I would have been lost.
Don't blame yourself though, it isn't your fault. At least now after those years of trying you know that you body can still get pregnant and that is a good thing.

[downunderchick]

Its not your fault, please let me stress that. Its happened to SO many of us on here.
Sending you lots of hugs, everyones really supportive on here

[Astrid]

Hi sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. If you are still needing support for the loss, please feel free to come on over to Pregnancy Loss which is another board that is here at Just Mommies. The link is in my siggy as I am 1 of the co-hosts. The women there are all in the same situation as you are or have been there & have yet started to try for another baby. It is the most difficult of pains. I know, I have been there. We all have. Please know you are in my thoughts & prayers.

[Lv2Mommy]

I'm so sorry for all you're going through right now - it sucks, I know. I m/c back in December naturally and it was such a devastating experience. It's so hard not to blame yourself - I did too. Truly, though, it was just out of our control. This would've been my 5th and I was wrapped up in all the thoughts of buying everything baby just like you & it's awful to have that taken away. The girls on the Pregnancy Loss board and here were great in helping answering my many questions and just giving me words of encouragement when I was feeling crappy. Please keep us posted on how things go at the doctors, and jump in anytime you need to talk, laugh, or just cry...

[..Jessica..]

I'm so sorry for your loss!!!!

[silverfish96]

Hi Ladies,
Today I went to see the ob/gyn specialist .Well she did an Internal exam and told me the cervix is fully closed.My free flow bleeding has not yet started,only brownish/reddish mucousy discharge after urination on my tissue (sorry if TMI). Now she has booked me for another trans vaginal u/s tomorrow ,also a Beta HCG .She asked me to see her again on Thursday. By the u/s she will know that whatever is left inside so this will help in deciding if she wants to go ahead with a D&C ,or a medicine that I put inside the vagina to open it and obviously painful with contraction but this starts bleeding fast.Third option is always to let it pass out naturally without any intervention.So now I am again waiting and waiting. Just wanted to update you all. Let's hope alll goes well and it happens on it's own.My husband is still away and without him I am so lost and depressed.

[Melanie0507]

Glad your appointment went well, although I wish you had some more answers today. Please let us know what happens Thursday and what you/your doctor decide to do. Hope you are feeling better soon!

[*Bobbie*]

I am sooo sorry you are losing your baby.

I lost mine at 14 weeks after over 4-5 years of trying. (No charting, occasional OPK, pretty good timing of BD) Now I am on year 6. Since my m/c in March I have been in *perfect* TTC mode. Well even that isn't working. It sucks but I am not willing to give up my dream of another child yet. Give yourself time to heal emotionally from the loss of your baby. The feeling of loss never goes away but it does get easier in time.

The Pregnancy Loss board was what saved my sanity. Of course we welcome you here with open arms too.... but all this TTC talk might be too much sometimes.

LOTS of the loss of a baby is something no one should ever have to endure.

[Danica]

Oh man I wish that things weren't still up in the air with the m/c. I know the wait is really dreadful. What would you prefer to do? I think all of the options you listed are good ones. I personally wanted to wait for a natural m/c but I might not be saying that in another week. Fortunately I think I just completed passing everything tonight I really wish your husband was home to comfort you. When will he be back?

HUGS

[Shaustin]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. The waiting is the worst part, I can definitely relate to that. I hope you find the support here that you need!