[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

Ok here's a little back round. My cousin is getting married in September and she has asked me to be in the wedding. I gladly accepted and am overly joyed about it. Well other members of my family arent so happy about me being in the wedding. My aunt is one of them. My aunt and I dont really get alone all to well, Ill just put it at that. Well first I found out that my cousin had to explain why she chose to have me in the wedding to my aunt. That really upset me. I feel that you shouldnt have to justify who you chose to have in your own wedding. Ok well here is where's are getting confusing.
I posted a blog on my myspace about the doctor putting me on Clomid. This is what my aunt commented me about it......
If you think this is the right course of action it's yours and Mike decision,
Nichole and Scott's wedding is in September and you will be missing out on all the partying that weekend, not to mention if something happens that you end up pregnant with twins or heaven sakes triplets. (YOU WILL BE HUGE)
If you do get pregnant over the next two months you will be 7-8 months along. I saw in your previous blogs that you said that you and Mike are healthy and that you are ovulating just fine. I'm rather surprised that at your young age, a doctor would suggest such drastic measures. Don't misunderstand no one expects you two to put your lives on hold,
but it may be very dificult to fulfil your duties as a bridesmaide because you will be feeling like crap.
Good Luck
Ok that got me a little upset. So I emailed my cousin and asked her if she was ok with having a pg person in the wedding (If I was pg at the time of wedding) She told me that she knew how much Mike and I were wanting a baby and she was fine with me being in the wedding if I was pg, she was just concerned that I wouldnt get to be involved with everything if I wasnt feeling good. She was talking about the bachlorette party ect. I told her I would be fine without drinking, it was for a good reason. She also went on to say that I would be huge in all the pictures for eternity. I told her I was fine with that too. THEN she went on to say that my Aunt had already been looking at maturnity dresses for me. Thats when I started to get upset again. I mean I'm not even pg yet. I said I would deal with that issue when the time came.
This is where I dont know if I'm looking to much into it all. I feel like my Aunt is trying to make me feel bad and how dare I get pg before the wedding. I feel like she is trying to make me feel so bad that I chose to not be in the wedding at all. Am I just getting to worked up about it all. I am suppose to go dress shopping with the bride and the girls and even the Aunt tomorrow and I am really thinking of calling and saying I'm sick. I dont want to involve my cousin with the problem with the Aunt and I know if I told the Aunt how I'm feeling she would either hold it against me or run and tell my cousin.
Sorry that this is so long but my emotions have been all over the place this week and this is just another nail in the coffin (sp). Thankx for reading my vent.

[woohoo502]

Oh, I'm sorry your aunt is being this way. It would make me really mad too! It is not like you would be the first pregnant bridesmaid in the history of the world! One of my girls was thinking about TTC before my wedding, so there was a possibility that she would be pregnant at the wedding, I actually started to hope she would be, because the dresses looked so cute on a pregnant belly! (one of the other girls was pg during the panning process and tried one on.)

I think you are right that your aunt is trying to get your cousin to think she doesn't want you in the wedding because you *could* be pregnant, just because your aunt doesn't want you in the wedding party. That is wrong. Ultimately, it is your decision, but I don't think you should stay home tomorrow, because that would be giving her what she wants!

I hope this situation gets better for you soon!

[honeygirl]

I think your aunt's behaviour is appalling!! What a nasty thing to do, to use someone's TTC hopes as a way of manipulating them so you get your own way!

If it were me I'd go completely schitz, I'm not noted for my pattience and tact, so well done for handling it calmly and don't let it upset you!

[Lv2Mommy]

Wow, what a crappy way for your aunt to behave. It's your cousin's decision and if she doesn't mind if you're pregnant at HER wedding, you aunt should just keep her opinions to herself. I'd definitely be angry too. All that said, I would still go tomorrow and try to have fun with it if you can. Good Luck - sometimes family can just suck!

[Danica]

The nerve of that woman! What a b%^$#. I am sorry but this reallly upsets me. I can't believe she would be so selfish and cruel and it isn't even her wedding. I feel sorry for you cousin because she was raised by such a manupulative woman. My SIL was pregnant for my wedding and I thought it was great. I actually bought a regular dress because none of us knew at the time and she was a size 5. Fortunately she is short so a seamstress just took the bottom off to hem it and put the extra fabric in the sides to cover her 7 month cute belly. You'd be so suprised what a seamstress can do! I tried to find a pic to show you but I am irritated to say that the photographer only tooks shots of her where you couldn't see a side profile and the dresses were deep purple so you can't really see the depth. I wish I would have told him to take better shots to show off her baby belly. Oh well but the point is that if you are worried about what you will look like the photographer can hide that too. BUT I don't think you will be huge. I think you will be beautiful! I also don't think it is fair for your aunt to put this extra stress and pressure on you to get pregnant. Just tell her to f*&% off and bacholerette parties aren't for getting smashed. They are for celebrating and you don't need to be drunk to do that.

Lastly, if something does come up where one of the bridesmaids can't be in the wedding they can always get someone else to step up. It really isn't that complicated. UGH.

HUGS, go shopping with the girls today. Don't let your aunt succeed in her stupid game. If you want to be in the wedding and your cousin wants you in it then the aunt suck it.



ps. Sorry for my bluntness. This is just irritating and appalling.

[greenchild]

I am sorry your aunt is being that way!!! I don't think I have much for tact left at this point in my life and I would tell her where to shove it. Heck, I've told my dearly-loved mom off before for some comments over the years! I am glad the bride is fine with everything, if she wasn't I wouldn't want to be in the wedding anyway! Sounds like you have a very sweet cousin!

I had 1 bridesmaid besides my maid of honor, and she ended up pg and was huge for the wedding. It was fine with me, and the only part she was upset about was that the dress she had for our wedding (we did renaissance-style) would no longer fit. I told her not to worry about it and just wear whatever she wanted. She found a nice dress, sure it didn't match the style, but who cares? we all had a good time, and that's what counts. I don't look back at that day and think her dress didn't match, I think how she was beautifully pg with her daughter, whom she loves.

Let me know if you want me to come over and kick you aunt for you.

[Melanie0507]

I can't believe there are people in the world that can feel okay acting like that. How dare your aunt try to imply that you should put your life on hold to be in your cousin's wedding. Your cousin will be starting a new chapter in her life and why should you not be able to move forward as well? I would never expect someone else to put their entire future on hold for my self-satisfaction.

I am glad your cousin is so supportive. I think you should definitely still go dress shopping tomorrow (if you don't...your aunt will have won!). Pick out dresses that you would like to wear now, and if anything is said about you possibly being pregnant, just tell them that you will cross that bridge when you get to it and if need be, you will have alteratios and/or buy a new dress then.

Sorry you have to deal with her, but don't let her win!!!!!!

[tparum]

im so sry shes being like that. that is so rude of her dont back out cause that means she wins u know how us women are we can get a bit on the mean side lol go and have a good time with ur cousin thats what counts right now not ur aunt sry for putting it like this but ur aunt dont count at all at this point this is all about ur cousins special day and if she is ok with everything and u are thats all that counts. u know im actually the type that has told my aunt to shut up and stay out of things. wich i felt bad for doing to her but everyone was glad i did. so u spend time with ur cuz she needs ya right now. and let us know how it goes.

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

Thankx girls. I am going to go shopping with all of them today even though I am starting to feel sick some (think I worked my self up and thats why I dont feel good). I am glad that my cousin is ok with the whole thing and I told myself that if I did get pg and was due close to the wedding that I would let her know sooner rather then later. My Aunt pulls this sh*t with me all the time. She's even gone so far to complain about me crying when I lost Samantha sayin that's all I ever talked about and I was always crying around her. I cryed ONCE around her and I was in MY bed and she came over to me AND it was the night before I had to go in for the D&C. I always made a point not to bring up the m/c around anyone and I never talked about it unless someone asked me about it. Maybe she just got tired of people talking to me about it but scr*w her. I'm not going to ignore the person just to make her happy. This woman drives me crazy and that is why I try not to be around her too much. Well I better go get ready to go shopping with the devil. I'll let you all know how it went as soon as I get home.

[tparum]

shopping with the devil herself lol sry had to laugh about that u just relax and it will work out and i know saying that u need to relax is easier said then done but if you dont then u just might make ur self sick and thats not fair to u just if someone talks about the m/c or if ur pg at the time then tell them hey we can talk if u would want and if she says anything about it screw her.

have fun and enjoy urself dont let ppl. like her do that to you.

[heatherrose415]

what a headache!! I am so sorry your aunt is such a ______!!!!!!


It sounds like she wants herself and daughter to alwyas be the center of attention, and hates the thought of you being happy and pregnant at her daughters wedding. she can SHOVE IT!!!

I am glad you are beiing a bigger person than her, and going shopping.

[downunderchick]

Thats really unfair of your aunt. At the end of the day your cousin is fine about it and so are you....so why should anyone elses opinions matter if you see what I mean.
Hope the shopping went OK let us know how you got on, sending you lots of hugs.

[Frangipani]

why is she so hateful to you? I can't understand why some people are so self-centered. I think HeatherRose had a good point when she said maybe she wants for her daughter and for her to be the center of attention thus if you are pg that would take away from it (in her mind). How did the shopping trip go? I am proud of you for going-I'm not sure if I would have had the self-control to do that.

[..Jessica..]

Your aunt sounds like SUCH a witch!!!!

So, you're suppose to put your probable pregnancy on hold JUST because her daughter is getting married??? I'm sorry, but I'd slap her soooooo hard!!!!

I think that she's just being JEALOUS because she KNOWS the attention could possibly be taken from her daughter on her wedding day. But still, how childish can someone really be??? How old is she??? Ugh!! The things I'd say if she were my aunt!!!!

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

Sorr I am just now getting back here to let you all know how it went. Everyone came here to party last night. The shopping went ok. My Aunt was ok to deal with and she didnt bring up the maturnity dresses at all. I was talking to my cousin last night about the comment on my myspace and even she, another girl in the wedding and the groom were upset about the comment. That showed me that my cousin and her fiance have no problem with me being pg at the wedding. Thats nice to know.

[keekopeeko]

i just noticed this! and i didtti whate veryone else has been saying... i am glad the shopipng wasnt to bad.. and i am sure that your cousin wants you in her wedding because she loves you...and understands what you guys have been going through.. its great that shes so supportive

~Em

[jademyst13]

Oh wow...how rude of her. I hope that you are pregnant and have a big bump come wedding time! Then you will alwys have photos of you dressed up and glowing with your bump!

[victorialv]

I am really sorry that your aunt is behaving that way. I would be really mad and have a hard time not showing it. It sounds like you are trying to handle it in a graceful way though, and I think that will go a long way in how the situation is perceived by others and how you ultimately feel about the situation.

Good luck sweetie.