[..Jessica..]

...... I couldn't handle being pregnant right now. There's SO much stuff going on right now, I don't think I'd be able to actually enjoy and APPRECIATE the pregnancy.

We have our basement apartment to finish, I have my driver's license test coming up in like 2 weeks, I have my debt to pay off and I want money in savings.

It's not time for me right now, and I think it's only now kicking in that I really need to wait. Dwayne has made it quite apparent that we need to, for many reasons, but it's only now (literally right now) entering my mind.

I've felt depressed lately, reading about so many ladies being *this* close to that BFP, only for AF to show and be a hag. I've read about the charters getting annoyed by not getting crosshairs in the right spot, or their temps not being high enough, or not being shown their O date, and I've felt so incredibly upset for them (you). I know TTC can be extremely discouraging when you're trying SO hard and doing all of the right things and nothing happens, please know that you're not alone! When you're upset, I believe a lot of the women on this board are upset along with you.

I look at the ladies on this board as a group of women who I consider friends. I hate it when anyone is upset, I really do. I feel like crying everytime someone has a bad day, and I usually do. I'm a total sap like that!

I'm sorry if this post upsets anyone, I just needed to get it off my chest.

[Frangipani]

aww! I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I feel you, I really do. I've been thinking lately that we may have missed our window too for when we should have a baby for this year. It's really frustrating though because it doesn't stop you from wanting to have one!

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

[Shaustin]

BIG HUGS Jessica!! I think you caring about all of us, just shows how big of a heart you have!! It is so hard not to be let down by AF showing up month after month, at least we have a place where we can come and vent about it!!

I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately, it sounds like you have A LOT on your plate!! I think you are doing the right thing by waiting a few months to get the things you mentioned taken care of, you will appreciate it when you DO have your little one running around!!

Just wanted to give you a {{squeeze}}

[Brittanie]

You're such a sweetie! Things have a way of falling into place.

[Danica]

You're such a sweetie! Things have a way of falling into place.[/b]

I don't know what I would do without the support of everyone on TTCAL. I know exactly what you mean about feeling the ups and downs with everyone here. Just keep telling yourself that everything will work out and eventually we will all look back on these years and appreciate the friendships we've made while we're holding our new babies in our arms. HUGS

[jademyst13]

You aren't upsetting anyone. I love having you around here. I think of my JM friends as real friends too. Without you ladies I'd have gone bonkers by now, or at least more so

Maybe now isn't the right time for you to TTC, but I'm sure things will work out either way.

[Melanie0507]

Jessica--First, I am glad that you *kinda* came to terms with waiting to TTC again. I hope that it helps make the time go by faster now that you know what your goals are.

Also, I wanted to let you know how sweet the rest of your post was and how much it means that there are such wonderful, caring girls on here that we can all come to for support. You are such a sweet person and it means a lot that you care so much about everyone on here.

[*Bobbie*]

Ya see.... THAT'S why I LOVE YA girl!!!!

oh and LOTS of

[greenchild]

I wish I'd known about JM earlier. Being able to come here and vent or to obsess about stuff or to share our joys, I swear this is the best place!!! I went thru alot of what you're going thru now about waiting to TTC. DH & I have been together since just after I turned 18, married just after my 20th b-day. He never wanted kids (until now ) and it was HARD to go thru that for so many years. I told him I wanted kids by the time I was 30 (see how far that's gotten me, I'm 31 . . .) and he brushed it off at first, i suppose he figured I'd forget??? There were so many reasons for us not to have kids right away and that was before figuring in his attitude on the subject! I waited 10 years . . . he agreed to "let things happen" when I was 28.
I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE you don't have to wait THAT freakin' long!!! But for our sake, I am glad we waited (although not about the 10 years part!!!). we were much closer, much more mature, much more able to handle tough situations, and much better off financially (well, not so much any more . . . stupid hospital!!! )

Even though I can't "officially" TTC anymore I still come here bc this board is the best!!!

[luvmygirls]

Aww Jessica you are such a sweetie! Things will all work out for you!