Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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February 4th, 2008, 10:25 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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I often see many post about how upsetting it is to for some of you to learn about woman being pregnant.
and I was wondering about how you feel when you see BFP's here and members still like to post here on this board?
I do admit, when I FIRST started here, it got me discouraged, but I was always happy for our ladies who got their bfp's.
This is a very comfortable place to be and many friendships have been formed here so I can understand why women, like me still like to post here with you all. For me personally, Maybe it's the hormones, but I do find that some posts make me feel uncomfortable about being here still....I do try to keep the "baby talk" to a minimum, but have to admit, I do like sharing the joy with my friends here.
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February 4th, 2008, 10:39 AM
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Veteran
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 187
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True answer - it doesn't bother me in the least, and I am quite happy that the BFPs stick around!
I think it is just different because it is not IRL. Just a different set of rules when it is online, I guess. That is just my 2cents!
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February 4th, 2008, 10:42 AM
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formerly mommy2haley17
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
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It doesn't bother me. You get to know these women and when they get their bfp you are genuinely happy for them. I would personally still like to hear their progress and know that all is well with them.
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February 4th, 2008, 10:48 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 16,124
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I don't mind, but then who am I to talk?? I still don't know what is going to happen with me. Seeing updates from the preggo's give me something to compare to without having to go into the DDC's. 
BTW Dee, when did you first feel the "flutter"  ? I remember you posted something about that awhile ago.
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February 4th, 2008, 10:51 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,478
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It sooo doesn't bother me at all when people get BFP's or when they post about pregnancy. I actually get a little sad because often times people get BFP's and then they go to their due date club and we never hear from them again so then I have to stalk them. I feel like we have such a strong bond that it was / will be hard for me to move on whenever I get pregnant. I do understand the bit of akwardness that you feel posting too much about pregnancy stuff but I think that if you say in the title (pregnancy mentioned) or that the topic is obviously a pregnancy post that if people have a hard time with pregnancy talk than those topics can be easily avoided. I go to the TTCAL success stories for updates but it is pretty slow sometimes because I just don't think many people go to the subforums... Anyway, I love to get pregnancy updates and love pregnant women online and IRL.
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February 4th, 2008, 10:52 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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Quote:
I don't mind, but then who am I to talk?? I still don't know what is going to happen with me. Seeing updates from the preggo's give me something to compare to without having to go into the DDC's.
BTW Dee, when did you first feel the "flutter" ? I remember you posted something about that awhile ago.[/b]
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you know Anne,
I could swear I was feeling SOMETHING at about 13-14 weeks....a light fluttering feeling.
I wasnt sure if it was the baby, or everything just getting "moved around" !!!!
~hugs~
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February 4th, 2008, 10:52 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,520
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Nope.... I personally don't mind one bit.
But BFP's don't get me down either.
Maybe a little when I felt like you all were leaving me like when you, Brandy, Sabina, Mindy, (I know I am missing a couple) all got BFP's around the same time.... but it was just a short time and then new people joined and it was all good again.
I guess it isn't the pregnancies that bother me but the loss of chat buddies  But that is the *nature of the beast* with this board. We aren't meant to be TTC after a Loss forever.
I just don't like losing my friends to other boards.... but I am excited when it happens. 
Did that post make any sense at all?
I would hope if anyone here was uncomfortable with ANYTHING on this board they would PM me so we could see about making them happy to be here. Yeah that's an open invitation to PM me any time if something about this board is bugging you. Tosha and I can't fix something if we don't know it's broken
I want every single member here to feel welcome..... waiting to TTC, TTC, waiting to m/c, and graduates....I hope even the lurkers are happy here
__________________
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (21) Amanda (17) Matthew (3) and Daniel (20 months) step-mom to: Stephany(21) and Krista (18)
step-grandma to: Wesley (23 months)
On 1/31 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss  If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pitures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
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February 4th, 2008, 10:53 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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thanks so much for your honest opinions ladies !
~hugs~
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February 4th, 2008, 10:54 AM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Lakeland Florida
Posts: 682
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Please dont make me leave  . I have made so many friends here and am so truly happy everytime I see a BFP. I look at it this way some day it will be my turn to post about my baby. I would also feel really bad though if it was really bothering anyone by staying while I am pregnant.
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February 4th, 2008, 10:56 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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your post makes total sense !
IMO....this is where It all started, so I can't leave ! I mean everyone is trying to achieve the same goal here right??
and if I can leave a trail of dust when I am here for my gals that makes it all worthwhile 
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February 4th, 2008, 11:04 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,168
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Honestly, I'm one who loves seeing that you preggos have been able to get preggy again. It gives me hope for the future!
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Mommy to:
O(8/9/05)
K(2/27/07)
"Beanie"(EDD 12/18/08)
Tube bean missing since 12/1/07
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February 4th, 2008, 11:12 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: St. John's Newfoundland
Posts: 5,748
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I was going to post something like this a while back. I feel sometimes i let others down. and i want you all to be happy. I love all the girls here, but sometimes its hard for me to post here, as im not sure where everyones hearts are. I guess you could say that i feel guilty for posting about my pregnancy. And i never know if there is someone new here that just suffered a loss. I dont want them to get discouraged cause im pregnant and im posting. I try to just add little comments every now and again and offer support when needed. But part of me feels horrible that im pregnant and you girls have been trying for so long. I just dont want to make anyone uncomfortable when i post. I love all you girls here and you all have helped me more then you will ever know.
I hope that i continue posting with you as a regular person. LOL.
Sorry about what i wrote, i just feel really bad, as it would hurt me when someone would say i got my bfp, it would kill me cause i wanted it so bad.
Love you all!!
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February 4th, 2008, 12:00 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Midland,tx
Posts: 6,456
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it dont bother me at all it really gives me hope. and we dont want the preggos to leave at all we love the updates and just look at it this way all of our angles brought us together as friends so for the feture its our earthangels that is gonna bring us even more closer.
love ya girls u all rock and are all my heros
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Allways Remembering our Angels
Angelina Marie 08-02-99, William Dewayne 02-08-01, Thomas Ray 07-30-02 and BabyBean 02-22-08 and BabyBean 03/02/2012
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February 4th, 2008, 12:07 PM
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Matthew's Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 396
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Even tho I haven't been on this board long, it doesnt bother me at all. I truely excited for anyone who gets a BFP. And like someone above said, it gives me hope that if someone else who suffered a loss can can a BFP, I can too!!!
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February 4th, 2008, 12:10 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,129
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It doesn't bother me. It gives me hope that I know I should be able to conceive again.
Like stated before it's hard when some just get their BFP and disappear. Maybe staying here is hard for some,but for me I think once I get my BFP you would have to push me out of here!
As for it being hard to be around pg ladies. I too habe some problem with that, but the people I know that are pg are young ladies that got pg by accident. Granted I'm happy for them it's just hard because they are so non-chalant about it.
With you ladies I know you want this so bad and I know the pain you have been through. It just makes it different.
So Dee (and others) if it's up to me you better stick around!!!
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February 4th, 2008, 01:11 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
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Doesn't bother me one bit.
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February 4th, 2008, 01:24 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Washington, DC Suburbs
Posts: 1,075
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It doesn't bother me - I am genuinely happy for any new BFP's on this board. Its harder for me IRL when i hear about people getting bfp's that aren't even trying. We all share a bond on the board. Hearing about your BFP's helps us live vicariously through you and have hope that we'll get one soon.
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February 4th, 2008, 01:28 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
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Dee you took the words right out of my mouth, I was feeling and wondering the same thing.
I dont want to make anyone sad.
I am glad it seems like everyone is okay with it 
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February 4th, 2008, 01:44 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Guysville, Ohio
Posts: 681
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I don't mind at all either. It is nice being able to keep up without having to search through DDCs for updates.
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February 4th, 2008, 02:25 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,320
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All I can say is you all are an awesome bunch of girls. I too feel like Dee...I just can't leave the relationship is so special between all of us. I try not to post about being PG either as I don't want to make other uncomfortable. It is great that we are so supportive and caring for one another. You all rock!!!
MMMWWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
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