[notrub98]

Just a question for you Mommies out there who are blessed to have kiddos already, but have also sadly suffered losses.....

Are you confused as to why you lost your little beans? I mean, you know you can have kids - so does it frustrate you, confuse you, anger you, etc that this happened to you?

I ask because I don't have kids, so I have a giant fear of never having them. It keeps me up at night, and I know the anxiety of this fear is not healthy for me. In fact, I should seriously consider seeing someone about this fear, and I know that. I have no reason to believe that I can even have a live birth because I haven't had one before, etc.

It got me thinking - I often wonder about those of you who DO have them, because obviously you are perfectly capable of it..... so why does m/c happen to you nice folks who have been able to have them before?

Just curious.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I do wonder that. I have a healthy, beautiful 3 year old daughter. I had no problems at all when I was pregnant with her. Everything was normal. Then I m/c the next one. I don't know the reasoning behind these things. I guess we all just have to believe that things happen for a reason, whatever that may be. I wish you the best of luck in TTC. When you do have one, it will be the greatest blessing in life.

[valentinemommy]

I am lucky to be blessed with a 2 year old son, but of course it is still devestating to lose one. I had a m/c 4 years before I had my son and then m/c again last month. So needless to say I was more than suprised. I never thought it would happen again. I think that no matter how many healthy children you have or how many you have lost, you still feel anxiety about ever being able to carry a child to term(again). But if your anxiety about it is keeping you from being happy with other aspects of your life then you should see someone about it. When you do concieve again, you don't want to be so stressed out that you can't enjoy it.

[Lv2Mommy]

I have four beautiful little girls from 3 pregancies that were all perfectly uneventful. Even with my twins, when I was considered high risk I had no issues. The m/c in December caught me & DH completely off guard. I was really angry at first and sometimes wonder if it's my age (37), but I just have to be okay with not knowing.

[priddymama]

Oh my gosh, your post could not have been more right on for me lately.

I have 2 boys, ages 4 and 3 and had an m/c in Oct and a chemical pg in Dec and I'm obsessively worrying that I'll never be able to have another baby. I even dreamed about it last nite. In my dream I went to see this crazy dr who was handing out blue and pink striped gum that was supposed to help you get pg. Oh and to make it worse a friend of mine was talking yesterday about how her mom had 2 kids then had an m/c after that and then tried for years to have another child and couldn't. Of course that set me mind rolling.
I'm so very thankful for my 2 beautiful children and consider them a true blessing. I just always wanted at least 4 kids..... I have hope and faith though and so should you

[HippyMomOf4]

I wonder it all the time because i have two beautiful daughters and i just don't understand why these last little beans didn't stick. I just pray ever night that my next bean will be sticky and i can be done having kiddos.

[Brittanie]

I guess my situation is different. I know I can carry babies to term, but the question is getting them here after that.

I know why we lost Cora. It was a complete accident. The scary thing is that it can't be prevented, so it has just as much of a chance of happening again.


You know what? I didn't miscarry, but when I was TTC Erin I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again. I think it's something we're all afraid of. One loss makes us feel like we'll never succeed. But you will.

again.

[mylittleladies]

Lurking here.
For me its a bit diffrent I had three first trimester losses before having my daughter. I thought I was never going to have a child. Because everytime I got pregnant I would loose them. I finally had test run afer my third lost and everything always came back normal. I almost wanted something to be wrong so I would know why I kept having miscarriages. I guess I will never know. I am now pregnant with my second child. 5th pregnancy and everything is fine.
1 st misscarage was at 13 weeks ( I bled and had cramps since 5 wks)
2 nd was very early
3 rd blighten ovum.

well I wish everyone luck and hope no more losses. hugs to everyone that has had a lost.

[MaMaTuTu]

I'm sorry for all of the losses ! HUGS! I actually know why I had my loss. I was on the mini-pill, which can cause ectopic pregnancies. And I took that sucker religiously! Now my worry is that I will have another ectopic(they saved my tube), and that my left isn't open. But I've been trying to not be fearful and just have faith. Which is very hard for someone who is slightly OCD!

[babyblue]

When we decided to have kids, we literally got pregnant the first time we tried. It was all so easy and effortless. You know- woohoo- we are having a baby! That is where the fun ended. I worried about miscarrying the entire first 12 weeks. At 17 weeks, we decided to have an amnio once we knew Mason was a boy b/c I knew I was a carrier for hemophilia- which is a gender specific disease (I lost my brother six years ago and he had hemophilia). Then around 28 weeks, I got the call I have dreaded my entire life- that my child also has hemophilia. I know we are so lucky and blessed to have a child at all- and trust me when I say, we believe he is the ultimate blessing. He is so perfect to us in every way. BUT- trying to conceive and getting pregnant has been a very tough and scary process. This second time around, I once again got pregnant immediately. Then the fear again- will it be a boy with hemophilia… so at 11 weeks we went in for genetic testing and bam! – the news I had feared even more than finding out my baby had hemophilia- finding out my baby was dead. So now- I am dealing with not only the fear of hemophilia or miscarriage, now I am dealing with the fear that maybe I will never be able to conceive another child. I know this is just my first month to try again.. but everything that was constant and normal for me before the miscarriage has been out the window since November 30th.

I don’t know what it is like to miscarry before ever holding a baby of your own in your arms.. but I feel very real fear. I am also trying to learn that I may never have a healthy child- especially if Mason ends up being the only child we have. And that is ok- b/c I know how very lucky we are to have him and I thank God every day for what he’s given us.

[Danica]

I ask myself that all the time. In a way it is bad because you wonder what happened. How could I have a flawless pregnancy my first time around and now have two m/c in a row? Is something wrong with my body? Am I more overweight now, if my diet different, did I get exposed to something, maybe I am meant to have only one? In another sense I am relieved that I had a successfull prenancy first because I keep looking at my son telling myself that I can have a healthy baby. My son is the main thing that has gotten me through these m/c's.