[MinDB]

i was just wondering.....i don't know if this topic was ever brought up, but when i had the m/c, DH was a mess. i think he was more of a mess than i was. he didn't really want to talk about it at all, and he still doesn't.

i was just curious.

[acolledge2]

My husband shut down, didn't talk about it after we left the doctor. If it is brought up now, he will walk out of the room. His theory: DON"T MOURN WHAT YOU CAN"T CHANGE!!

[jademyst13]

He took it hard, but unless you are really close to him you would not know it. Some people told me they didn't know anything happened because they had seen him and he seemed fine.

I think he just deals with it by taking care of me. He felt he had to be stong for me, and I am glad that he was. He's very quiet about his feelings on anything. You have to really know him and pay attention to see things sometimes. Sometimes it the small things that he says or does that lets me know how much it hurts him.

[victorialv]

My DH was hurt and sad, but not nearly as bad as I was. He was just able to move on and get back to normal a little quicker than I was.

[Lv2Mommy]

It was hard for DH but he dealt with it much differently. We've talked about it and he says that he does sometimes miss the baby, but it's different for him b/c he wasn't the one pregnant. He had a really hard time having to see me go through all of it and not being able to do anything to fix it.

[..Jessica..]

DH didn't know until 2 weeks after I had m/c. He took it extremely hard, I don't ever want to see him like that again.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

My dh took it a lot better than me. Of course, he was sad. But it was just back to normal things for him. At first he didn't want to ttc again because of what it did to me emotionally. He finally came around.

[greenchild]

With our first loss, I was really wondering if he felt anything at all bc although he was very sweet to me, he never showed his emotions at all and didn't want to talk about it when I would bring it up. come to find out, he tells his mother everything . . . so I heard about it from her, not him.
He still never says anything, but I know now what to watch for. I think he's very like jademyst13's DH in how he handles it.

I worry about him bc when his sister lost her little girl years ago (car accident) she wouldn't let her husband mourn while she mourned and then when she was done, she wouldn't let him mourn at all and they ended up divorced over it. So I try hard to let DH know that it's okay for him to be sad or upset or whatever, these were his losses too.