[ShannonMVT]

I am feeling down tonight.

First off I am going to call B.S. on the whole theory of "you are more fertile right after a miscarriage". Maybe that works for some, but apparently not for me.

I read these stats saying that it takes the average couple 6 months to conceive but that's just not what I see here. I see tons of women getting their BFPs way before 6 months. And not very many like me who are taking that long and longer. So are the stats wrong? Or is everyone on JM just more fertile than me?

I am not saying that others don't deserve their bfps, they do. It's just I don't get why I am not one of them. Why am I still stuck here instead of graduating to pregnancy after loss, like it seems so many others have? Is it just my perception is off and it seems like that to me, but it's really not the case?

It makes me feel like something is wrong with me or that I'm a failure that everyone else can get pregnant again and I can't. Everyone tells me that it will happen for me soon, but how do I know if that's true? What if it takes me a year or more to get pregnant again, and I lose THAT baby too and have to start all over AGAIN?

I am almost to my baby's due date and I'm still not pregnant. I read that most women will conceive before their lost babies due date. Well apparently not me, unless I somehow get pregnant this month.

I'll be going for my annual in May or June so I will talk to my dr at that point and see what she thinks.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies. I hope none of that hurts anyone's feelings, it's just how I am feeling right now.

[mommy jenn]

shame hon, get it all out. i know what you saying... but what i did was i read all the post of the women who hasd still births and i thought you know i dont have it have as bad as some women do, imagine going throught labour for nothing!! you get nothing but heart ache in the end!!! that must be no where near as horrible as getting a neg pregnancy test, it even made me feel happy that i miscarried so early rather than later when my baby had a personality...

its really hard though and i know im going to be upset when i get my neg pregnancy test at the end of this cycle....

[..Jessica..]

Oh Shannon!!!

I'm sorry you're feeling like this tonight!!! I, too, feel this way sometimes! Last night was a bad night for me!

I think it's normal for us to feel this way, regardless of how long ago our loss was. I wanted so badly to be pregnant before my due date came, and that didn't happen. I was upset, I was a mess, but, I thought about the plans DH and I have, and it sort of made it okay for me to not be pregnant.

I completely understand the need & the want to be pregnant again, I think we all do on here. I think stats are for people who have nothing better to do.

I hope this cycle is the cycle for you, and if not, then I hope your doctor is able to answer your questions.

[jademyst13]

I can see why you hurt so much. I only have had one month of trying and am frustrated already. I really hope you get your BFP before your annual. If not I hope they can tell you what's going on. It should't be this hard for any of us.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry Shannon! I know what you mean. I had my m/c over 6 months ago. It's so ###### frustrating. I would have been due on April 4. So unless I get a BFP this cycle, I will not be pg on that day either.

[*Bobbie*]

We started trying when I was 26. I am now 33.

I too just want to scream or cry...sometimes both at the same time. Before the first actual pregnancy last year I had never tested. I was never late enough that I thought I could be PG just a week here and there. It leaves me wondering just how many early losses I may have had and not known.

Infertility hurts. I am sorry it is taking so long for you. You are doing everything right. The charting, opk's, BD timing.

I hope you see that BFP very very soon. God knows you deserve it girl.

[Melanie0507]

Shannon

I really think that if you aren't pregnant by the time you go in for your annual, that you should try to get your doctor to run some tests & bloodwork. Atleast it will give some answers to the questions in your mind.

And vent away, any time you need to...That's what we are all here for and we all know exactly how you feel!!

[Celry]

Venting is great. It helps you and probably others to read that they're not alone.

It took me a year to get pregnant and then I miscarried. It helps me to stay positive and know that I did get pregnant once, so it can happen. We all have our down days though. You're entitled to that. Someone just told me we're supposed to be more fertile after a miscarriage, but I'd never heard that before and haven't looked into it at all. I wonder if there is any merit behind it.

[MrsPoe]

You are not alone! It took me 5 years to get pregnant with my Abby. Her first birthday is next month and here I am wishing I was pregnant before that day got here. It is very frustrating at the least. Hang in there, it will happen and we will get a crying baby in our arms at the end of 9 months!

[Brittanie]

Here's the thing with averages: They take EVERYONE into account. Very few people actually are the average. If you have 3 couples, one who got pregnant on the first try (0 months), one who got pregnant in 6 months, and one who got pregnant in 12, and you average them together (0+6+12=18, 18 months/3 couples=6 months), you get an average of 6 months of trying, even though only 1 of the 3 couples got pregnant in that time. So it's deceiving. It means that there is one couple trying for a long time for every couple that conceives quickly.

I'm sorry that it's not working out easily for you. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make you all pregnant with a sticky one!

[lynie07]

aww sweetie l'm so sorry firstly here's a

l so understand where you are coming from,it's just so sad that
many of us have to go through this it's just so unfair, but we have
to stay positive that one day soon we will all be holding our babies
in our arms and when l see ladies with there BFP it gives me so much
more hope as l know what they have gone through too, so sweetie
stay strong it will happen,it's good to let it all out thats what we are here
for to listen and support each other