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I know we all have different philosophies and belief systems so I'm not posting to spark a debate on the best approach for sleep habits (hope that doesn't sound harsh?). What I need is some help from those who do follow the Babywise approach, which I believe is a good approach for my family. Perhaps it is my over-tiredness plus allergy season, but I'm confused as to how to get started and how to handle the schedule.
I've already figured out that I've been doing the whole feed, wakeful, nap thing out of order. That I can fix. And I think Jamie is ready to be on a 4 hour feed (nursing) schedule. SO, the book said to assume about a half hour for feeding. After that is when I get lost...
Assuming for example, he nurses from 8-8:30am. Next is wake time. But how do I know when to end wake time and start putting him down for a nap? Do I assume nap time is an hour and then work backwards from his next feeding time (meaning put him down at 11am?) But what about the time it takes him to fall asleep? Should I calculate that in? For example by putting him down at 10:45 to allow for 15 minutes of fussing?
Or, all that aside, do I wait for sleepy cues only which could come at any time? But if a sleepy cue doesn't happen until 11:30, then what? Do I only have him nap for half an hour and then wake him to nurse again to get on the 4 hour schedule?
Hope someone is understanding my ramblings here and can explain it to me. Zzzzz
I'm not totally sure what babywise is, but I loosely follow EASY (eat, activity, sleep) which sounds similar. Basicaly I just follow that routine and it sort of works itself out. So I feed her when she's hungry, play with her after that until she shows signs of being tired (yawning, eye rubbing) and then put her for a nap. She'll nap anywhere from 30 min - 2 hours, and if she waked up before she's hungry again (which happens) then we just have some chill out time until it's time for her to eat again. So we follow the routine, but don't have a set time schedule on when she does certain things. Not sure if that helps much or not!
We do the exact same (3.5-4 hr EASY routine) and it works great most days. If she's having an off day and wakes early at nap time, then sometimes I'll try to squeeze an extra one in, but that's basically our routine also. Melodie usually shows tired signs after 1.5-2.5 hrs of awake time, so when I put her down she usually sleeps until her next feeding time. We try to keep the same routine for bedtime which is usually around 7-8 depending on how our day went, so she eat, then it's bath time and bed time, and she knows after her bath it's time to go to sleep. Little ''habits'' like that are great because no matter how the rest of the day went, your LO will know the difference between a nap and going down for the night if there is something consistent in their routine before bed. GL and I hope it works out and he takes to his new routine well!
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Last edited by LisaBrown; August 26th, 2010 at 03:53 AM.
I read Babywise when I was pregnant with Lily. I liked the idea of eat, play, sleep that it suggested, but I just never did it by a clock. I follow the same principle with Abri. I nurse and burp her, then we either play on the floor or in her exersaucer. I switch around what we play every little bit. When she starts showing her typical signs of being tired (yawning, rubbing her eyes, starting to fuss), I get her ready for her nap. My suggestion is to use the principles in Babywise, but follow his cues too when it comes to feeding and napping. Following a strict time table when you're nursing can be difficult, but it's good to establish a general routine.
We were staunchly by the book with our first DS on babywise. I've loosened up a bit with Gavin, mostly out of necessity with having a toddler to take care of, too. Our 4 hour cycles are pretty simple, 2 hours up, 2 hours down. he eats at 7:30 am, down at 9:30. Eats at 11:30, down at 1:30. Eats at 3:30, then he takes a catnap at 5:30 and is up at 6:30. Eats at 7:30, which is the last feeding of the day. I count his settling down time in with his naptime, but only b.c now he settles right away. I would be more flexible with that if it takes him a while to fall asleep still, you want to make sure he gets a long enough nap. I also don't really wait for sleepy cues. He knows when bedtime is now, and is always ready at that time; because I say so, lol. Babywise is my child-rearing bible! If you want to ask any more questions or swap PDF ideas, feel free to PM me
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I do the EASY routine as well. For me it is easier to wait until he shows signs of being tired. There have been times i've put him down without signs such as yawning but that is because he will be super grouchy and i know it's because he's tired. He is usually only awake for 1-1 1/2 hours before going back down (longer in the evening) and only takes 30-45 min naps most of the time now. I've tried to switch things up to see if he would take longer ones but that's just how it is for now. I know when he gets older it will change into longer less frequent ones. Every baby is different, as is every family. Good luck finding a routine that works for your family
Thanks ladies! Racine I may PM you when we get home later.
Its not so much that I am tied to 4 hours as a goal or to an absolute strictness or anything like that - its that we both desperately need something that resembles a routine and he really needs to be sleeping more at night. I'm just worried that while trying to implement Babywise its going to look more like eat, play, sleep, wake up way too soon before feeding, want to be fed, stall, play, stall, eat, etc. and then it isn't really a routine at all! That's why I had the questions. - because his length of naps is really unpredictable too. But I guess that will start to become more predictable if we can get this going.
I think there's a chapter in the book about starting late in the game... a friend borrowed my book, though, so I can't check. I loved Babywise and the Babywhisperer. I do follow Riley's cues, but she generally goes to bed about 2 hours and 10 minutes after she wakes up. She puts herself to sleep so easily, too! I think that stems from never nursing to sleep.
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There is a few chapters in the book for people starting late in the game. I'm just about finished with the book and will be starting this with Kerrington next week. I'll be doing it but not really with the clock. I'll be using the clock to get her form 2.5/3 hrs to 4 hrs. If you go to the babywhisperer website they have forums that are great to ask questions and see what others have asked also to help.
We were staunchly by the book with our first DS on babywise. I've loosened up a bit with Gavin, mostly out of necessity with having a toddler to take care of, too. Our 4 hour cycles are pretty simple, 2 hours up, 2 hours down. he eats at 7:30 am, down at 9:30. Eats at 11:30, down at 1:30. Eats at 3:30, then he takes a catnap at 5:30 and is up at 6:30. Eats at 7:30, which is the last feeding of the day. I count his settling down time in with his naptime, but only b.c now he settles right away. I would be more flexible with that if it takes him a while to fall asleep still, you want to make sure he gets a long enough nap. I also don't really wait for sleepy cues. He knows when bedtime is now, and is always ready at that time; because I say so, lol. Babywise is my child-rearing bible! If you want to ask any more questions or swap PDF ideas, feel free to PM me
Wow...he goes 12 hours without eating? My nearly 6 year old can't even go that long.
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Wow...he goes 12 hours without eating? My nearly 6 year old can't even go that long.
Yup....and he wakes up happy as a claim. My two year old sleeps 13 hours a night. We used to wonder if that was normal but our pedi, whom we know and trust, says it's fine; he's very active during the day.
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Didi does 12 hrs some nights too, it hasn't been consistent yet, but she goes weeks at a time then regresses to about 8 and needs an early morning feeding. I got 10 hrs sleep the other night, it was fabulous!
Yup....and he wakes up happy as a claim. My two year old sleeps 13 hours a night. We used to wonder if that was normal but our pedi, whom we know and trust, says it's fine; he's very active during the day.
Yep, same here! She usually eats around 7-7:30 and then is good until 6-7 the next day!
Ive followed babywise for both my kiddos so far and ive loved it. They really seem to thrive off of it.
At his age I wouldn't really wait for sleep cues. I would just try to start the schedule. It might help to write it down. You may never have a rigid schedule but as long as its close enough to the suggested one and works for you then thats fine. I would say at this age he could nurse and then probably stay awake for an 1 1/2 -2 hours. Then nap til the next feeding time. Just remember when he ate last and if you are already doing the feed, play, and sleep routine you should be able to develop and get him used to a schedule pretty fast.
Like you said everyone has their own parenting style. I believe that babies thrive off of consistancy. I also think they still need a lot of sleep at this point. Just think about how much is going on with their body. They are growing and learning sooo much right now and their body needs that time to rest.
The tricky part about the whole thing I think is the sleeping. Does he fall asleep on his own right now? If not try to gradually transition him into doing so. There is nothing wrong with ending the play time with rocking or cuddling but just try to put him down awake. I never just layed my kids down and let them scream. We worked on teaching them by patting their backs, then leaving for a few minutes (watch the clock a few minutes could seem like a long time), if they are still crying then pat his back some more and maybe shush him. They book says not to talk because it will be too distracting for him. Eventually he will learn to just lay down and go to sleep You just have to be committed to it.
Sorry this was so long lol feel free to pm me if you have any questions.
I'm not totally sure what babywise is, but I loosely follow EASY (eat, activity, sleep) which sounds similar. Basicaly I just follow that routine and it sort of works itself out. So I feed her when she's hungry, play with her after that until she shows signs of being tired (yawning, eye rubbing) and then put her for a nap. She'll nap anywhere from 30 min - 2 hours, and if she waked up before she's hungry again (which happens) then we just have some chill out time until it's time for her to eat again. So we follow the routine, but don't have a set time schedule on when she does certain things. Not sure if that helps much or not!
and it actually has turned into routine she has pretty much a normal thing goin on and she made her own routine other then bath at 8:00 which I did but now she will cry for her bath at 8 and when she goes down for the night she will normally sleep about 10 hours
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I'm currently trying to implement the Babywise method with my 7 wk old daughter and I am struggling! We have the feed schedule down really well (she is formula fed and a good eater), but the sleep part is hard. She doesn't nap well in her crib. I wait for her sleep cues and put her down for a nap while she's still awake and swaddle her and then she goes to sleep instantly, but this morning (day 2 of babywise for us) she woke after 25 min for her first two naps. The first one she cried for about 15 min and I went in, patted her and gave her the pacifier and then left, minutes later, crying again, waited a while, then did the same thing again, this went on for 45 min and I couldn't take it anymore so I got her and fed her (she ate 15 min early according to the 3 hr schedule). The second nap she woke after the 25 min, cried 5-10 min, stopped a few min, cried again 5 min, stopped for 13 min, then cried again a few min and then stopped for 20 min and counting (she's napping as I type this). Yesterday she would only sleep for about 1 hr and then wake up and we still had an hour to go before the next feed was due. Today I'm trying everything I can to keep her up longer, but she starts to fall asleep on me when I hold her after fussing while on her play mat, etc. How do we keep the cycle of eat/wake/sleep if my baby won't sleep til the next feed is due? Am I supposed to just see if she'll be content being awake and feed her at the scheduled time or do I let her cry in her crib until the next feed is due? I'm frustrated because the Babywise book gives you the rules, but doesn't give many scenarios...at least nothing that I can relate to. I feel like I want to quit after just 2 days because I don't like hearing my baby cry for 45 min and I feel like I'm on house arrest while we're trying to implement this because I'm afraid to go anywhere because then the car/stroller will be a sleep prop since she always falls asleep and stays asleep with motion.
I first read Babywise and tried it out for one day at 4 wks old and gave up, but stuck to the 3 hr feed schedule and for the last 3 wks she has been getting up just once in the night, which is great...I really should not be complaining, but when she does get up at 3 am (which has been the time for the last week consistently), she does not want to go back to sleep. I would burp her and then lay her in a breastfeeding position across my tummy, give her the pacifier and pat her bottom and she would fall asleep in about 5-10 min, then I have to wait 30 min to put her down otherwise she wakes back up. So then I'm up for 1 hr 15 min to 1 hr 30 min and then I have trouble sleeping and toss and turn until she wakes again at 6:30am. I really want my baby to be able to fall asleep on her own! Any advice please!!!
Since this is an old thread i'm going to give my HONEST opinion.
Babywise is awful. It's the only parenting method that is strongly advised AGAINST by the AAP. There are programs that help children readjust and connect to people after they've been babywised. There are numerous children who have DIED or been diagnosed with FTT because of babywise. It's just plain awful and just about the only style of parenting that gets my blood boiling. PLEASE read Ezzo. Info - Babywise & Other Ezzo Programs before you continue. Google other Ezzo babywise stories. Seven weeks old and your newborn is crying for 45 minutes? Thats heartwrenching!
If it doesn't feel right, it's not! A child that young should be eating on demand, and 3 hours is actually far too long between feedings for some infants (most if breastfed!). Nursing encourages babies to sleep, it's biologically normal to fall asleep eating. PLEASE go to the debates board and search for Babywise threads.
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~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)
Beth, you are completely entitled to your opinion.
However, how do you feel when someone says "Co-sleeping is awful! Children die from it!" Which, people do say, all the time. It's not the method which is the culprit, it's parents who are not willing to set up the proper circumstances.
True, some parents don't completely understand the concept behind babywise and tragically will leave their babies to cry for hours on end. My boys never cried for more than twenty or thirty minutes, and that was only for a few days.
I think making a blanket statement as you did is offensive to people who have successfully implemented Babywise, correctly.
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We do the exact same (3.5-4 hr EASY routine) and it works great most days. If she's having an off day and wakes early at nap time, then sometimes I'll try to squeeze an extra one in, but that's basically our routine also. Melodie usually shows tired signs after 1.5-2.5 hrs of awake time, so when I put her down she usually sleeps until her next feeding time. We try to keep the same routine for bedtime which is usually around 7-8 depending on how our day went, so she eat, then it's bath time and bed time, and she knows after her bath it's time to go to sleep. Little ''habits'' like that are great because no matter how the rest of the day went, your LO will know the difference between a nap and going down for the night if there is something consistent in their routine before bed. GL and I hope it works out and he takes to his new routine well!
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