Discipline

mylene169 · #1 October 27th, 2011, 11:35 AM

What are you currently doing for "discipline"?
What "crimes" are grounds for "discipline"?

I know it can be hard to talk about this for LOs this age. On one had they still seem so young that any discipline can feel like "too much". But on the other hand now is the time to establish boundaries and teach rules. It can be hard and I always feel like I'm too harsh or that DH is being too harsh (usually it's just removing to her room for a minute).

Just an FYI: I'm using quotes above because I know we all have different opinions and feelings on the topic. Please feel free to use whatever terms you use.

frgsonmysox · #2 October 27th, 2011, 11:37 AM

We just use a stern "No!" and redirection. The same rules apply for Charlie that apply for the rest of the kids.

amazing_love · #3 October 27th, 2011, 11:58 AM

So far I just try to be consistent and say the same thing. For instance each time he hits i say "That hurts. You need to be gentle (or nice)" Then I ask him to either give me (or whoever it was) a hug or to show them gentle (he knows what this means and will use his hand and touch them nicely). The problem is he doesn't always want to listen and will continue to hit in which case i usually try to distract him and get his attentiion on something else. Seriously though i hate this hitting phase. He also screams a lot and with that i've found the best thing for us so far is to stay calm and ask him to talk to us and tell us what he wants. Even if i can't really understand him i want him to know that he won't get what he wants by screaming.

We don't plan to spank but will probably do timeouts once he's old enough to understand them. This might sound weird but there have been a few times when he just will not stop hitting us so i put him in his room and shut the door. He cries for about one minute and then i go in and ask for a hug and we go play or do something else. I guess its helpful because it distracts him and gets him to stop. hitting.

mylene169 · #4 October 27th, 2011, 12:04 PM

Quote:

This might sound weird but there have been a few times when he just will not stop hitting us so i put him in his room and shut the door. He cries for about one minute and then i go in and ask for a hug and we go play or do something else. I guess its helpful because it distracts him and gets him to stop. hitting.

We do the same thing. Kolbie is pretty rough on Kaija sometimes, even though she's the little sister. She's also started pinching and pulling our faces. When we try to stop her she thinks it's a game. A simple putting down and walking away doesn't stop her either. So we put her in her room for a minute. Yes, she does scream, but after a minute I go in and have her give me (whoever) a hug and tell her to be gentle while showing her what gentle is.

MrsTiffy · #5 October 27th, 2011, 01:30 PM

Alex has to follow the same rules as my older two. If he is bad then he gets a similar punishment that I would give to my older kids. If he hits then he gets put in his crib for a minute, and then has to give a hug to the person he hit. If he throws toys I take the toy. If he throws food then I take his food. For my older kids they would have to earn their toys back. Alex's new thing is to hit the cat and tell him to "get out!" I have started putting Alex in his crib for that also, and then showing him how we are nice to the kitty. When I give Alex a toy back that he threw I show him how we play with the toy nicely. I think that after they are punished you should show them how to do the right thing. Then you aren't just saying no. You are showing an alternative way to do things.

amazing_love · #6 October 27th, 2011, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mylene169

We do the same thing. Kolbie is pretty rough on Kaija sometimes, even though she's the little sister. She's also started pinching and pulling our faces. When we try to stop her she thinks it's a game. A simple putting down and walking away doesn't stop her either. So we put her in her room for a minute. Yes, she does scream, but after a minute I go in and have her give me (whoever) a hug and tell her to be gentle while showing her what gentle is.

Glad to hear i'm not alone in this! Yes he totally just thinks its a game and laughs about it. Drives me nuts!

Twhylite21 · #7 October 27th, 2011, 02:26 PM

Most of the time I do redirection or tell her what I want (ie: be gentle like this, etc). I do put her in a room by herself for a minute or so when she's having a massive tantrum, but it's rare. I do that when she's hitting me or Lily mainly.

CanadianLou · #8 October 27th, 2011, 02:41 PM

I am glad you posted this. I am wondering the same thing. Livi has been such a strong willed child and has been taking tantrums and hitting, pinching, biting, scratching. She's been doing this for the last 6 months or more and none of that redirecting or what we are doing seems to be working at all. She is just as violent as she was. We always say "No hitting/biting etc, be nice, hugs and kisses" and she will usually usually give us a hug and a kiss but 2 mins later she is hitting etc again. We we say no she freaks out even more. But we still say it. I know she is probably frustrated because she cannot express herself. I didn't have this problem with my 1st DD.

Our bedrooms are on the second level. But I don't want to put her in her room or crib when she is bad because I don't want her to associate that with a 'bad' place and when she goes to bed at night I don't want her to make it a bad experience etc. She won't stay in time out's though unless I was to put her in a room and close the door, but we don't have a place for that. So right now I'm just sticking to the "No" and "Be nice" and "We don't hit" etc. But honestly it doesn't really seem to be doing anything. Sometimes she comes up and hits me and kisses me right away before I even ask her too...LOL

Jennifer-Jacob's Mommy · #9 October 27th, 2011, 04:16 PM

We just use a stern No and distract him with something else..

mimi81 · #10 October 27th, 2011, 04:58 PM

We usually say NO and tell her hugs and kisses or be nice if she's pulling on the dog, she hasn't started hitting us yet.
Otherwise we count and do a time out. We have a bay window that she's not allowed to sit in, or if she constantly does the same thing over and over like try and go in our bedroom, she'll get a time out.
Like Laura said I didn't want to put her in her crib for time out because I don't want her to associate it with negativity but the pedi said it was fine. And really it's our only option for now. Around 2 years old we'll probably use a chair or something. 1 minute per age. So 1 1/2 min. now and then tell her what she did wrong and give a hug.