Do any of you guys ever consider giving up? RANT

JewJewB · #1 April 7th, 2011, 07:35 AM

I don't know what to do. The endless ttc added to our loss is really getting to me. With my best friend having her baby last week (unplanned, of course), the chick at my work that has the same due date as I had (also, unplanned), not to mention the countless people who have "surprises" or get pregnant within the first month or 2 of trying, I'm about to lose it! It doesn't make me sad, it pisses me off...BAD. I just don't know how much longer I can put myself through this.

Baby Girl McD's Mommy · #2 April 7th, 2011, 09:21 AM

I'm right there with you Julie. It shouldn't be this ****** hard!!

MindyRambo · #3 April 7th, 2011, 09:35 AM

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. Just please remember, babies happen for a reason, so don't be mad at people who might have had an unplanned pregnancy, I understand it hurts and it's frustrating, but it's not fair to be angry about something you can't control. Just know your time will come. You have beautiful kids BTW!

Maybe visiting the forums of people who haven't even been able to have one child after years, even a decade or trying might make you realize how lucky you are to have 3 beautiful kiddos. I know that doesn't negate that you want another, I totally understand, and I'm honestly not trying to hurt you here, please don't think that.

Cait&AngelAbove · #4 April 7th, 2011, 09:38 AM

There are days I want to give up. I never imagined it would be this hard. I want to cry every time I think about the fact that I have to see my pregnant sister in law at the end of this month. When I think about really giving up I ask myself if I would be okay with never having children. The answer is no. I was meant to be a mother and all these hardships will make me a better mother. You both will have your baby! I can feel. And I have no idea where this optimism is coming from. It is usually DH's department.

JewJewB · #5 April 7th, 2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindy1982

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. Just please remember, babies happen for a reason, so don't be mad at people who might have had an unplanned pregnancy, I understand it hurts and it's frustrating, but it's not fair to be angry about something you can't control. Just know your time will come. You have beautiful kids BTW!

Maybe visiting the forums of people who haven't even been able to have one child after years, even a decade or trying might make you realize how lucky you are to have 3 beautiful kiddos. I know that doesn't negate that you want another, I totally understand, and I'm honestly not trying to hurt you here, please don't think that.

Please know I'm not mad at the people who are having the babies unplanned. I'm happy for them. I'm mad that it's so easy for some and so difficult for others. It's not fair. I also realize there are people who have no children and that I'm very blessed for the 3 I have. However, as everyone does, I have my story, my reason for wanting it so bad now. My reason as to why this one is different than the others. I'm sorry if my "rant" offended you. I put the warning in the title. I just felt like this was the one place that people understood exactly what I was going through, and it was ok for me to vent when I'm having a rough day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ready_for_BabyMcD

I'm right there with you Julie. It shouldn't be this ****** hard!!

My feelings exactly!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cait&AngelAbove

There are days I want to give up. I never imagined it would be this hard. I want to cry every time I think about the fact that I have to see my pregnant sister in law at the end of this month. When I think about really giving up I ask myself if I would be okay with never having children. The answer is no. I was meant to be a mother and all these hardships will make me a better mother. You both will have your baby! I can feel. And I have no idea where this optimism is coming from. It is usually DH's department.

HAHA! Thanks, Caitlin. I don't even talk to DH about it. He thinks I'm fine. I just don't want him worrying about me. :-/

MindyRambo · #6 April 7th, 2011, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juliemcdaniel

Please know I'm not mad at the people who are having the babies unplanned. I'm happy for them. I'm mad that it's so easy for some and so difficult for others. It's not fair. I also realize there are people who have no children and that I'm very blessed for the 3 I have. However, as everyone does, I have my story, my reason for wanting it so bad now. My reason as to why this one is different than the others. I'm sorry if my "rant" offended you. I put the warning in the title. I just felt like this was the one place that people understood exactly what I was going through, and it was ok for me to vent when I'm having a rough day.

I see, that's understandable, I misunderstood and thought the anger was directed at them. You didn't offend me in the least hun, I've just talked with too many people lately who will never conceive I guess, and it makes me sad. It's totally ok for you to vent. And this is the best place to do it. Sending baby dust a-plenty

Cait&AngelAbove · #7 April 7th, 2011, 12:33 PM

I completely understand you not wanting to worry him. But it might make you feel a little better to confide in him. I hid things from DH for a while about how I was feeling and I felt a lot better when I told him. It made me feel less alone. And feel free to vent away! We are here for you!!! I have a hard time when people close to me announce they are pregnant or have a baby. It is completely normal because they are getting what we want soooo bad. You want to have a baby with your DH and I think that is awesome! You will have a baby with him! I can feel it!

Servilia · #8 April 7th, 2011, 12:49 PM

I'm so sorry Julie and I totally know what you mean about being angry because it's so easy for others. Totally with you there!!

Vent away, we're here for you!!
I often feel like just giving up too!

Lorena26 · #9 April 7th, 2011, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juliemcdaniel

Please know I'm not mad at the people who are having the babies unplanned. I'm happy for them. I'm mad that it's so easy for some and so difficult for others. It's not fair...

I 100% agree with you and can totally relate to your feelings. I recently found out that my friend is preg after trying for 1 cycle and it just hurts to think that it was 1-2-3 for her and its been half a year for me already and what do i have to show for it?...nothing! I've been avoiding her and avoiding facebook (that's how i found out) because i just can't deal and its so stupid that i just can't bring myself to tell her that i'm happy for her but oh well

It's totally unfair and sooo frustrating. Hang in there and rant/vent all you want it helps to get it all out

Jennifer8080 · #10 April 7th, 2011, 02:12 PM

I was totally there. It took us 2 years, and 3 losses to get to where we are now. It was freaking hard!! I watched people get pregnant, have babies and even get pregnant again! I had the same feelings of anger that it was so easy for some people and that it was so hard for us. I did want to give up so many times. I also know that there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better or make it any easier. I just wanted you to know I've totally been there and I'm sending big hugs and baby dust your way.