[Mrs.P]

Hi everybody! Well let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Sarah and I got married on May 20. My husband and I are both in the Navy, but we are unfortunately stationed across the country from each other. We are hoping to get stationed together once our orders are up, next May. This makes things difficult, but we try to see each other every 3 months or so. I can't wait until we are together all the time!



So here's where the confusion comes in! I know we haven't been married long, but I have had baby fever for a LONG time. We want kids, we actually talk about it all the time, but I guess I'm confused about whether or not we should wait or if I should stop taking birth control (I actually ran out right before the wedding, so I guess restarting it would be more accurate) and leave it in God's hands. He is up in the air as well. Lately he's been saying he would like to have kids right away, but that makes me even more confused!

I guess I'm just looking for other people's experiences and such and maybe even a place to vent. It's been an inner struggle for a while. I'm 25 and he's 20, so I feel like I should be having children soon, but at the same time I don't want to force him into rushing everything and missing out on all of the experiences I got to have. My mind changes every day. One day I want to wait and be married for a while, and the next I want to start our family. I just don't know who to talk to about it!

Obviously I know nobody can make the decision for us, but I'm just looking for perspective, trying to figure everything out.

[Servilia]

HI and welcome. Yeah that does sound like a difficult situation. I hope you'll be together all the time soon. The one things that makes me pause is his age, but depending on his character that might really be a non-issue. I have come across men who had children very young and later wish they had waited. But you know him best and he DID say he wants to start having a family right.
The practical problem is that you only see each other every 3 months. A woman only has a few fertile days each cycle and it can be pretty easy to miss those if you can't control when you get to see each other.
Regarding the birth control, in some women it can take a while for cycles to regulate after coming off so if you're one of those (which you obviously can't know in advance) it would make sense to just stay off them and use other methods until you're sure you want to start your family.
I hope that helped with some perspective!

[Mrs.P]

Yes, it is difficult. We have had a few different options for this whole situation come up within the last week or so. So there is some light at then end of the tunnel. We will see. I can see how age would make you pause. He is a mature 20, I was originally not even looking at seriously dating him because of age, but he proved to me that it really is the person, not just the number.

Of course I understand the problem of us seeing each other ever few months, and you'd think that would turn us both off to the idea of a child in the near future, but it merely puts it into a different light, a different perspective. We still have some time to decide what to do, and of course we are looking at every angle before we just jump in.

I think I am going to stay off the pills for a while. I think my body is pretty well adjusted. My body was always peculiar with pills anyway, it still did what it wanted.

So I guess I will keep you guys updated if when we do decide whether to wait, or try. I will be happy either way!