[Carmoma]

*Welcome! Comments are welcome in my journal!*

I married my husband in March of 2009. Words cannot express how good this man is to me. After two very hard and quickly failed marriages I had all but given up on a finding decent husband. Dh is more than a decent husband. He's my best friend and the love of a lifetime.

We were in Las Vegas during our first month ttc. It had looked like I had ovulated right there in Sin City. That was an exciting thought. We were walking through a casino and there was a bar tucked into the corner named "Quinn's". We both looked at each other and said what a cute name that would be for a baby. For either sex too. Before leaving Las Vegas we had our baby fully named:

boy- Quinn Xavier
girl- Quinlan "Quinn" Amelia

Well, come to find out, I did NOT ovulate in Las Vegas. I ovulated a week later (and a week late for me) here at home in Florida. Thank goodness we dtd just for kicks because we would have missed the egg. I received a very faint bfp 10 days later. We were staying in Orlando for a religious convention and I took the test in a Target bathroom while dress shopping. I immediately stopped shopping and drove back to the condo to show dh the test. Since then I took several more tests, each time they got darker:

FRER's:


$ store tests:



So, we are pregnant! I'm excited and nervous. Mostly nervous. I don't remember being this nervous with my son. I ttc him with my ex husband 8 years ago. He is the love of my life. A true momma's boy.

When I was pregnant with Garrett I knew he was a girl. I just knew it. Her name would be: Olivia Madison. I loved that little girl. I knew in my heart that I would leave my husband and a little girl would be just what I needed. Then the ultrasound showed an unmistakable boy part. I cried. I was devastated! I mean, how could I raise a boy on my own? I knew nothing about boys! What about all the cute dresses and piggytails? I felt ashamed to feel that way towards the child growing in my womb. I tried to bond before the birth, but I was still in denial. But when that boy was born my world made sense all of a sudden. A girl would NOT have done. He was perfect, beautiful and so loving. Garrett loved me more than I believed any girl would have. He was a momma's boy to a tee. He lifted my spirits during my divorce and kept me going during the times where I just felt I couldn't. I love my son and would never trade him for any girl in the world.



So people ask me what I feel like I'm having this time. Honestly I don't know one way or the other. I still feel want for a little girl. Mostly for the chance to buy different clothes and to see what it would be like to have a mini-me. But the urge just isn't as strong this time. I know that whatever we do have will be just what we need.

I always thought I'd just have Garrett. I never thought I'd find a husband like mine to build a family with. I can't believe that in just 8 short months I'll be a mom to another one. It all feels so unreal.

[Carmoma]

So today I had a doctor's appointment to confirm pregnancy. All they did was a urine test and stick me to test my iron. I needed the paperwork for insurance. But I can't explain how good it feels to have a doctor's office tell me that I'm pregnant. I know I took a gazillion pregnancy tests which were all positive, but today I didn't touch the hpt stick, didn't see them do the test and was told, "yep, you're pregnant".

It's starting to feel real!

In waiting on my insurance to process, I believe I've found my OBGYN. They said they'll schedule me for my first appointment as soon as I get proof of insurance (should be very soon). They do an ultrasound at that first appointment to date your due date which is awesome because I was a week late ovulating. Then they do two more ultrasounds, one 18-20 weeks and one in your third trimester. Their office is also right on the same floor of their labor/delivery suites.

I'm officially getting excited!

[Chelnae6]

Yayyyyy! Congratulations!!!!!

[Carmoma]

So starting this week (6 weeks) morning sickness has started kicking my butt. A week earlier than it was when I was pregnant with Garrett. I feel sick to my stomach all day, in a weird gnawing/hungry/sick feeling. I've vomited here and there too but unfortunately that doesn't make me feel better for long. It's been 8 years, but I remember with my pregnancy with Garrett I was sick once a day and then felt fine. This time I'm sick all day and night.

I'm anxious to see this baby on an ultrasound. Insurance was delayed and now I have no idea when I'll be approved. Hopefully soon because the office I'd like to go to does ultrasounds on the first visit. I know I'm pregnant, I just want that peace of mind to see the little bean with a flickering heartbeat. That and make sure it's only one..

I know they say you show a lot sooner with your 2nd + baby, but I'm really popping fast. I was hoping to keep it a secret for awhile, but it's getting harder to each day. I don't fit into any of my old pants or shorts. And a few people I know have already asked if I was expecting. So again, I'm anxious to see the baby on the ultrasound. One baby only please!

[Carmoma]

*my vent cross posted on the boards*

I'm really struggling to enjoy this first trimester.

People smell funny. Dh smells funny. He smells like the soap that makes me sick. He wants to cuddle and be around me. I want him to go away and not touch me. He feels rejected and unloved. I just wish he'd go away so I wouldn't have to smell him. He makes me gag.

My son wants to be near me. My son smells funny. My son makes me gag.

The dogs want to sit by me. The dogs smell funny. The dogs make me gag.

I go next door to my moms house to get away from the people and smells. I climb in her bed to take a nap. Her pillow smells funny. Her pillow makes me gag. I pull the covers over my head. Her covers smell funny. Her covers make me gag.

I give up after awhile and head back home. The neighbor is cutting his grass. I smell the fresh cut grass and lawnmower fuel. It's too much. I run inside and dry heave in the bathroom.

Dh asks me if I'd lay next to him as he drifts to sleep. He says he just needs a little attention. We go into our room. I choke back the gags. Our bedroom smells funny. I sit by him on the bed. He smells like soap. I distract myself. He tries to hold my hand. I don't want to be touched. I just want him to fall asleep now now now so I can get out of the bedroom. He gets the point and turns over and falls asleep. I bolt.

Everyone is asleep and I am starving. Or is it sick? I don't know. I make popcorn (which smells funny) and I eat most of it. I start to feel a little better. I start to get tired and realize I hadn't yet showered. I decided to take a needed shower. The smell of the shampoo made me start to dry heave. The soap makes it worse. I quickly get out and throw up violently in the toilet. It sucks to throw up popcorn.

I just wish I'd catch the sniffles so I couldn't smell.

[Carmoma]

Oh, it's been awhile since my last update. I've been so miserably sick. I'm finally getting over most of it. I'm down to throwing up every other day or two and most days I'm feeling good most of the day. Whew!

I had my 10 week appointment a couple weeks ago and had a wonderful ultrasound. Baby (singular! whew!) was happily active and beautiful. Heartbeat was 167.

Today I had a 12 week complete ob appointment. Quinn's heartbeat today was 155. They did the exam and pap and said everything looks great. They went ahead and scheduled all my appointments up to birth.

My big ultrasound is scheduled for November 9th. Baby will be 19 weeks. I wanted it sooner but they will only do it after 19 weeks. I can't wait to know if I'm having a girl or a boy!

Next week I'll officially be in my 2nd trimester! Yay!

Not much else to report.

[Carmoma]

I'm 18 weeks today. I had an appointment and baby was doing well with a sweet little heartbeat of 141.

I've been so worried lately because it's been five weeks since my last appointment and I don't feel the movement that I felt with my son. I was SO relieved to hear that heartbeat. The only movement I feel is possible flutters, which is few and far between.

I'm so excited about my big ultrasound on Monday. I can't wait to buy clothes!

My sister had her first baby yesterday. Baby Enzo was 6 lbs, 15 oz and just beautiful.

I'll update after my ultrasound!