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What better high than seeing those two lines/positive/ result? Knowing that in this moment the most spectacular thing has happened? You have life inside of you. Who is to be? A boy or girl? The next perfect soul to add to your family. 9 months of wondering, worrying of course, planning and getting excited for the greatest gift of all!!
Seriousely since I was 6 I have dreamed of being preg. I was a young girl planning my babies rather than my wedding. I am married to an older man. I am 29, soon to be 30 and dh is 43. He has two kids from a previous marriage age 11 and 9. We had two together, two girls, ages 3 1/2 and 16 months. When I married him I was so relieved to be out of a bad relationship and happy to truly be in love. He didn't necessarily want anymore kids but knew that was a deal breaker to me. I always wanted at least 4 but when I met and married him, I agreed to have one maybe two. He really agreed to one but I begged for number two.
Well, here I sit dying for more. Devestated that at 29, my child bearing ages are over and the adventure and time period that I awaited for my entire life is over. It lasted a whole 3 years. It breaks my heart. DH knows how I feels and has said that he has already compromised by having 2. This is true. I do take care of all 4 kids, two of which are my step kids, more than anyone (his ex included) He knows I do a lot and is appreciative...lol, sometimes. He also knows that as much as I want this, he doesn't and yet he has said maybe in the future we will revisit it.
So, do I want more children? I believe I really do. Right now I def have my hands full as my 3 yr old dd is a challenging child. There are def moments where I'm yelling more than I want and becoming frustrated and overwhelmed. Ideally I would want another in the future, maybe a year but I still have baby fever. Well, I am still nursing my 16month old. We are using the pull and pray method and have been for 6 months. He seems fine with doing that although he would get a vasectomy if I agreed. We only BD every oher day, so I believe all that pre-cum sperm is killed off by urine. DARN! Also, he really does have his timing perfect. He pulls out with time to spare. I know there is always a chance but he seems to be on his game. I secretly wish for a "meant to be," "gift from above" baby but wonder if this could ever or will ever be.
I than think to myself (in the deep dark part of me ) that perhaps I am just addicted to it all. There is nothing like it to me. Don't get me wrong, my children are still the most amazing thing in my world but there is just something about pregnancy, despite the number it does on my anxiety disorder, that just excites me. Of course, even if I did have another, I believe baby fever will always be with me........[/SIZE]
I have yet to have my first so I'm still in the lala land of imagining what it will all be like! Not sure if that's better or worse LOL! But I'm totally with you in the fact that i feel i was born to be a mom, and a mom of MANY. Ive always been baby crazy and as i get older it only seems to be getting worse! I got engaged in February to my man of 5 years, he knows how i feel about all of this but hes just not ready yet (and i can understand it too!) That doesn't make me want it any less though...
We are NTNP purely because he has been put in charge of contraception since January and a bit of ignorance on his side, but hey... I'm not complaining!! We don't use any methods what so ever, but my body is still struggling to come right after BCP... So 7 months of unprotected sex has gotten me as far as obsessing over my chart and symptom spotting EVERY month
I hope somehow by CHANCE there's that one little bugger of a swimmer who manages to bypass his way through and get you preggers again!
And, hopefully me soon too!
OMG...totally unprotected sex or pull out? If completely unprotected you are SOOO getting pregnant....LOL!!! Just a matter of time!! Omg, before my first I was in the "la la land" and still am! I agreed to only one, bc I was crazy, but also because I was so blinded by the fact that getting pregnant was in my near future that I didn't even think about it.
Most men are never ready....well, at least many. It always frustrates me bc there are some husbands out there that I swear are more enthusiastic than the women. My dh is not that guy. CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!!!! If you were like me, engagement to me meant possible pregnancy in the future. What BC were you on? What were your cycles like before that? Sometimes it takes a while to regulate and ovulate right. All in perfect time though =) Are you using any OPK'S? I swear I take pregnancy tests even when I actually have my period because I'm that pathetic...lol
baby dust.............Can't wait to hear when your day is here!!!!
I agree with everything you say! I have 3 and i want one more! but then i think my kids drive me nuts... and actually are getting harder as they get older! LOL! but i love them and we have a great time and i enjoy them even when im yelling at them! LOL! Either way i have that feeling of (i just want to be pregnant 1 more time) experience all the fun things that go along with pregnancy (i hate the morning sickness) maybe i just want a big family??? idk im confused! ha
I agree about most men not being ready. Mine wasn't. A friend's husband is more anxious about having #2 than she is. She never wants to be pregnant again, and he's been pressuring her to change her mind for a year now. She finally agreed to try this coming January. I feel bad for her. She HATES pregnancy, and has a girl. He wants a boy so he'd like to try at least 3 times, but he works in a branch of the Air Force that kills boy sperm. I see three girls in the future.
This might sound devious, but have you thought about breaking out a turkey baster and suctioning it off the bed? There's at least one in this forum that got pregnant that way. lol
LOLOL...omg...that is hysterical! Judgement asside, bc I'm sure it resulted in a perfect and beautiful child, but I couldn't do it...lol.
My 3.5 yr old is my heartbeat but she is soo difficult. There is a book called "The difficult child" and I swear it was written about her. I love her with all my heart but she is exasperating. She is too young to be diagnosed but she is showing some signs of ADHD so she is EXTREMELY impulsive. I actually have OCD and supposedly there is a gentic connection between them both. My younger dd who 16 months is much mellower. I feel guilty, but I swear I could have 5 of her. This is not to say I love one more than the other, just that my older one requires a lot more patience and stamina...a lot....=)))
Thats how my ds is! He's 3.5 and hes so difficult! My older 2 are 26 months apart and i could go every place with them and they were perfect! I cant go any place with my 3 year old, he runs off, he yells, he wont sit in the carriage, if he was like the older 2 i would have had 4 kids by now! LOL! He's fiesty, he's rough, and he loves sports but **** he gives me a run for my money! lol