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Forum: Not Trying Not Preventing

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  #1  
September 13th, 2012, 07:31 AM
Regular
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SE Texas
Posts: 53
I'm tired of everyone saying "oh it'll happen some day". I'm almost 35 now. It's not like I've got my whole adulthood in front of me. I have no doubt it will in fact happen. I just don't like the some day part. Grrrrrr. I would rather they say nothing at all than say that. Some day seems forever away. Man am I fussy today!
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  #2  
September 15th, 2012, 10:15 AM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 12
Haha, I couldn't agree more, gotta hate when people say that, and yeah I can understand how annoying it has to be for people trying to get pregnant..
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  #3  
September 15th, 2012, 01:39 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: **Cloud 9**
Posts: 577
I had this coworker of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile, but we talked every once in awhile, and he "congratulated" me on my first preg................um.....I'M NOT PREG YET!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!! I tried to be cordial and laugh it off for his egregious mistake, cuz it wasn't his fault that he was misinformed by another one of my coworkers (how she thought I was preg when I haven't seen her either in 2 years i will never know).......but it still made me cry my eyes out later that day because, like Redneck Mama said, I am tired of people telling me "it will happen someday" or "when are you guys [DH+myself] going to have kids?", etc. Though my heart goes out to you, RNM,
Baby dust for good measure.
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  #4  
September 15th, 2012, 05:11 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,620
It is a really insensitive comment because for some it never happens. You can really only hope. I thought for a long time I would never have kids, and the comments of "it will happen" did come true....after 1 miscarriage and then after 5 more miscarriages after that. Then comes the comments about their miscarriage. Key word: miscarriage, as in ONE.

I don't mind the question if I want kids so much.
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  #5  
October 1st, 2012, 03:56 PM
jkgreen's Avatar Awaiting Our First Bundle
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 472
I get it all the time.. I'm a hairstylist! When I bloat.. Believe me.. I bloat. People are shameless.. "When are you due?" I really want to say, I'm not yet... when are you? One woman even rubbed my belly while asking. There are some people in this life, you don't want to mess with; hairstylists are among the top. LOL We can ruin half your year! Have I done it, no.. do I want to sometimes.. I'm only human . LOL
But I hear ya.. Some questions, people don't understand that they aren't allowed to ask, and some "reassuring" comments aren't neccesary.
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  #6  
October 1st, 2012, 05:49 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: **Cloud 9**
Posts: 577
OMG a woman actually did that??? Rubbed your belly??? How awful!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know there's a man card, so I think she needs to have her woman card taken away! I know I needed mine taken away when I (ahem) forgot about my tampon one time.....
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  #7  
October 2nd, 2012, 06:43 AM
jkgreen's Avatar Awaiting Our First Bundle
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 472
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinBoshnyak1985 View Post
OMG a woman actually did that??? Rubbed your belly??? How awful!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know there's a man card, so I think she needs to have her woman card taken away! I know I needed mine taken away when I (ahem) forgot about my tampon one time.....

Oh yes she did!! LOL I just looked at my boss and she just did the "calm down" motion with her hands and shook her head. It is soo very hard to stay nice! LOL
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  #8  
October 2nd, 2012, 11:54 PM
jellybean93's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: South Africa
Posts: 645
Ugh i feel your pain! My closest friend just found out she is pregnant...
So I'm trying to deal with the "I'm so happy for you" emotions while being totally jealous. She wants to be pregnant with me and said i need to "hurry up and make it happen"... uuuuum if only it was as easy as that!!
Boy am i bitter! LOL
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  #9  
October 3rd, 2012, 06:38 AM
jkgreen's Avatar Awaiting Our First Bundle
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 472
Are you serious??? One of my best friends is half baked with her pregnancy.... to make matters worse, on accident with a mixup of birth control & with her boyfriend of less than a year. I was the first one she told and I had to talk her down from being "wth just happened?" I'm happy for her, but I also got the "I wanna be pregnant with someone, so hurry up" from her as well. While they are a good couple together; even though I don't really care for him, I know they'll be great with their new addition.. I know that no matter what they do, I'll forever feel like it's thrown in my face until I'm am too pregnant.

Darn it.. I'm the one who "did" everything "right". Being with my husband since I was a teenager, going to college, graduating, getting a job, getting engaged, getting married, buying a house.. and I even have the **** dog! LOL I feel so horrible about the way I feel, and it's not her fault I'm not pregnant yet.

It is really hard for me to see people who "accidently" get pregnant and hear how hard it is for them, while they have no idea how hard it is to listen to that while trying to be patient about their own waiting to be. How does that happen? I'm still learning how to genuinely be happy for her (which I am.. mostly, she'll be a great mom).. unfortunately, because I feel a little bitter, and even though I love her like a sister, I have been keeping busy with work, meaning I haven't had a lot of time to hang and go shopping.
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  #10  
October 3rd, 2012, 12:36 PM
jellybean93's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: South Africa
Posts: 645
My word! I feel like that was me writing that!!

I'm so grateful for an escape like this board, otherwise i would have probably exploded LOL
Its just so difficult trying to deal with the mixed emotions of being happy for her but also feeling terribly bitter. It took her one month with PCOS (not drugs) and low fertility on his side. One month. I'm sitting on month no. 9. And she wasn't even trying... I also got the "wth am i going to do" question.

Life is tough sometimes!
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